Girls Movie Night

So last night I invited several of my girlfriends to come up for a chick flick festival, since Mr. Payne is a Christmas at the Falls full timer. I couldn't decide whether or not to prepare Moma for this little event. I decided to say something, but not make a big deal. She promised faithfully that she would not bother us and she would stay in her room and watch TV. HA!
No sooner had all the girls arrived (with their snacks in tow) then she appeared. Nosing into the food, asking for chocolate milk, and basically finding out what was going on was on her agenda. She got her milk and a piece of fudge. I stood in the doorway while she ate (because you cannot leave her in a room with food and animals). She growled, "Gimme another piece of fudge!" Without giving a play by play, just let me say that there were several episodes of her visiting the kitchen for snacks and being just plain nosy. Kelli helped out because she hated for them to be the reason I finally killed this old woman. She got her back to her room more than once. (She also brought her a Christmas present that had chocolate in it, and it will remain hidden Kelli, thanks)
The last time she presented herself to the group, we had finished the movie and had the TV off just chatting. She asked why the TV was off, and why we didn't go to bed. I tried to quietly say to her that I had company, but in her little smart defensive tone she screeched "No kidding!". Ugh! (Please note that at that very moment, I couldn't have hated her more) I got her some more chocolate milk and sat her at the table. She looked at me so seriously and asked, "Why hasn't anybody called the police (pronounced PO lees)" I said, "What are you talking about?" She said, in a jumbled manner, leaving off syllables and omitting words like she does, "You know, about them holding us up in here.....(something something) all the foolishness..(jabber jabber jabber)" I guess she thought Kelli, Dawn, and Deana were holding us at gun point and wouldn't let us watch TV or go to bed.

Hello World

Hooo Boy! Moma woke up like today was her first day on Earth. At first I thought she was going to be a little nasty. She came into the kitchen and growled, "You got anything to eat?" Then acted kind of smart when I gave her the cinnamon roll. But when I sat down next to her to read the paper, she said, "Julie, where'd you get this cup?" It was a keepsake type coffee mug from her church. "Moma, that is yours. It came from your house" was my reply. She pondered that for a minute and then said, "I didn't know......(long pause), what went with all my stuff?" We re-played that conversation at least twice. I had to remind her where every stick of furniture from her house is and who bought the house.
A minute or so later, she looked up at the sign we post every day (with the day and date) and said, "Christmas is over, isn't it?" I shook my head. She then said, "I didn't get nothing did I?" What a sad existence. I cannot understand why God is leaving her here in this condition. Thankfully, He has a plan; a perfect one, and I do not have to second guess it. He will take her in his way and time.

Red Lobster

After the excitement of Sunday morning, you would think things at my house would calm down. Uh..not hardly. Monday morning about 2am, Moma heard someone knocking on her door, so she got up to check that out. I got her back in the bed. No sooner had I laid down, Kerry heard her in the kitchen. He got up and blasted her. He escorted her back to her room. In no less than 20 minutes, she was up again. Kerry really let her have it this time. He threatened to lock her door so she would "never get out" as he put it. Needless to say, this was her last adventure.
I awoke about 7ish with plans to wear her out so she would sleep. I got her up at 8:00 (ignoring all the protests), fed her breakfast. She tried sleeping at the table. I kept talking loud to her and making noise so she couldn't sleep. Finally, I let her go back to her room to lie down for a few minutes, but told her she would have to get dressed to go out with me. She argued, I ignored. I got her up about 10:00, and told her to get dressed. Some day I will write down the ritual of the getting dressed routine. It is unbelievable.
We loaded up in the car (the whole way out the door she argued that it was too cold, and she needed to go back in). I did some running around, and allowed her to sit in the car and wait. Then we met Rebekah at Red Lobster for lunch. There was a wait, so this is always a chance for her to act up (and she did). Some kind folks got up and let her sit down. Two ladies with small children came in. The older one (assuming grandmother, but very young) had the diaper bag. Moma pointed at her and said, "Look at that! I wouldn't be caught dead carrying something like that. That is ridiculous". I leaned over and said, "Shhhh! What are you talking about?" She said, "Look!" and pointed again. "Moma! That is a diaper bag." She thought it was the lady's purse.
Then we were seated, and poor Arnold was our waiter. He did not know what to think of the princess. She looked at Rebekah and said, "If I had the money, I'd eat out all during Christmas! Reckon I could find an old man who'd have me? Aww...after we'uz married, he'd say I don't want to go out". Rebekah and I almost had to be carted out. Arnold, God love him, probably thought we were laughing at him.

Don't say " I told you so"

In light of my recent decision, I hesitate to even post this. But I prayed about my decision and I still stand by it. But.....what in the world was I thinking when I insisted that Moma come live with me?
This morning at 5:45, she woke me. "Julie....you might want to come turn this water off". She was so calm. I flew back the covers and within minutes landed in moving water. It almost covered my feet. The toilet was overflowing like a waterfall. You could hear it dripping down into my basement. Kerry and I mopped water while she stood in the way and insisted that she did not do that. The water flowed down into Christopher's room and my storage room where all my decorations that I did not use this year (BECAUSE OF HER) were stored. I am guessing that they are now worthless. I won't even address the smell.
Apparently, you cannot flush the cardboard tube the toilet paper is wound around.

A favorite memory

One of my favorite memories from my childhood with Moma is the Christmas play at her church. Every year, she would come pick me up and take me to her church's Christmas play. The only thing I actually remember ever happening during the program was my cousin sang "Oh Holy Night" one year. But at the end of the program every year, they handed out gifts from under the tree. Moma would always have one wrapped under the tree for me. It would thrill my soul when they called my name to come up and get my gift. I can still see the insides of that old church. What precious memories.

Children are a gift from God

I have always heard and thought that children were God's gift to us. That is the FIRST childhood. My grandmother is going through her LAST childhood. Ugh....

My children have always delighted in the annual making of Christmas goodies. I fill tins for our neighbors and friends with various things the kids and I have made. This has been a family tradition for 24 years. I love to give to other people. I love the goodness brought out of people at Christmas time....yes, I realize I am a little hokey about Christmas. BUT, cooking these tasty treats with Moma in the house is a nightmare. If you are a long time reader, you know from Christmases past how she acts. If you haven't read them, go back to the archives and pull it up. Precious.

Yesterday, after I fed her breakfast, I decided to try to throw something easy together when she went back for her mid-morning siesta. As usual, a mistake. I was pouring the chocolaty mixture into the pan for it to set, and I heard her coming. She asked the usual questions, and then went and stood over the pan. "Can I have one when you cut them?" she asked. "Sure" was my quick reply. She walked around the house a few minutes, and went back to bed (she had not gotten her nap out). While she slept, I cut the cookies and put them into tins. In just a bit, I heard her. She walked straight to the place where the pan, now in the sink, had been. Now, for someone who cannot remember what day it is and has to be told 49 times a day, her mind was fixated around this pan of chocolate oatmeal cookies and held fast. "Ohhh, I wanted one of them cookies...." she said very disappointed. I smiled to myself. "Sit down at the table and I'll get you one". She sat down and I got her a cookie and a glass of milk. Thinking all was well with the world, I returned to my vacuuming in the den. In a minute, I thought I heard her calling me. I turned off the vacuum to hear "I WANT ANOTHERRRRRR ONNNNNNNNNNE!" Great, my 4 year old autistic child wants another cookie.

I could go on and on. She was awful yesterday. She was in to everything. She got in the sacks of gifts waiting to me wrapped. She got into all the ingredients for other goodies I had on the counter. She rambled through the mail. I love Christmas, but with her, it is a train wreck Christmas. So, don't ask why I only have one tree this year. Don't ask about my lighted wreath on my chimney outside. Don't look for my snowman collection or any other Christmas lovelies. I am doing good to have a tree this year.

Ram it

Not 30 minutes after Moma went into a spell of "how much she appreciates Kerry and me" and how we'll never know how much she loves us, she told me to ram a cookie up my ass.
Precious.

Forgive me for this

I'll apologize for the side-stepping, but this post is not about her.

Yesterday I felt exactly what the Grinch must have felt when his heart began to grow. Not that I am a Grinch by any means because I love Christmas, and always have. My heart swelled with so much pride yesterday that my chest actually hurt. I cried all the way home. Let me explain.....
Several years ago I had a student who stole my heart. I won't go into details but his home life was not the best. I worried over him, I prayed over him, I washed his clothes, I bought him things, I ran interference for him with teachers....I treated him as my own. He grew up and moved on to the high school, but he would still call me on Mother's Day to wish me a happy one. I tried to keep up with him, but did not see him on a regular basis. He dropped in my school yesterday for a visit. He is in the engineering program in the US Army, stationed in GA. He is doing great! After a lengthy conversation with him, I know he has his head on straight. He is becoming everything I knew he could! He spoke with such wisdom and maturity. I was bursting with pride. After he left, he sent me a text telling me that he loved me (called me mama) and said I had brightened his whole week! The moral of this story is: You NEVER know who will be touched by your small act of kindness, your concern or your prayers. YOU can change the world with your words, your actions, and your prayers! Pay it forward!!!!!

Just Stand There

You probably need to know the layout of my kitchen to get this true picture, but my little princess stands in my way EVERY day all over the house, but especially in the kitchen. She comes between the table and the refrigerator and just stands there. So if someone comes to the door or I have to go into the dining room, I must go all the way around the table on the other side to get by her. If I open the refrigerator, I either hit her in the face or the back. SHE WILL NOT MOVE. She gets between me and the microwave too. She will stand at the sink and just look out the window while I travel around her to fix her breakfast. I mean, it is obvious that she is in the way, but she doesn't care because she is the princess and the whole solar system travels around her. BUT GOD FORBID I BE IN HER WAY! She will say, "excuse me" and stand there. I may be in the middle of something, but she will NOT go around. I say, "You could go around, you know." Her answer is "You could move too".
The royalty around here humbles me.

Repeat

Today has been a day of repeats. She would ask me a question, and I'd no sooner answer it and she'd ask it again. The day of the week, where was I going, where is Kerry, if Bek is going to spend the night, does Bek like school? And on and on and on.........
Sigh!
She may have a UTI. I took a specimen to the doctor's office Friday morning around 9, but they obviously do not give a hoot about their patients. I have YET to hear from that test.

Pet?

Do you like pets? Imagine having a pet chimpanzee. That is what having Moma around is like. She picks up everything, opens it, smells it, looks it over, tastes if (if appropriate). She will pocket things she wants. She will rearrange the counters. She picks at her arms and legs. She spits out tiny pieces of food stuck in her dentures. And makes noise CONSTANTLY!!
What is their life span?

Decision made, no regrets

When I started this blog, I wanted it to be an honest portrayal of what it is like to have an elderly person live with you when living alone is no longer possible. I have not been completely honest. For privacy reasons, I have kept something from you for almost a week now.
Recently, an opening came up in a private care home, in my community. I was encouraged by many to take the opportunity to put Moma there, and un-burden my life. I made the call, I got the information. I shared it with my sister. Then I prayed. I called on some of my prayer warrior friends to help. I only asked that they pray that I make the right decision for Moma (not me). Several commented to me that they felt I should do this for my sanity; that I had done my part. I continued to pray. I pleaded with the Lord for a clear answer, a sign to know what to do. But as is His way (and the answer I hate), He said, "Wait". Wait for what? I pouted but continued pleading for His wisdom. While I was doing laundry Sunday, the answer begin to come to me. "Are you doing this for selfish reasons?" was the question that kept coming to mind. Long story short....the ONLY unselfish reason I was considering it was my precious husband's health. But after he assured me that he was not an issue, and for me not to even consider him as one; he was fine. "Okay Lord, you are right. It is about 95% for selfish reasons. "There is your answer", I felt Him say. Peace. I felt peace. God did not call me into this for ME. He asked me to sacrifice, but promised to meet my needs. He has. I am selfish. I want it all. That is NOT His plan for me. He does not call the equipped. He equips the called. I am called for this mission. Yes, I feel peace.

Chex Mix?

Imagine the pleasure of waking to the sound of a cane thumping through your home. As I lay in bed, in and out of sleep, I was aware that she was moving around the house. I wasn't too concerned as it sounded like, to me, that she was in our living room. I figured she was looking out the picture window. I must have drifted off. Kerry woke me, "She's in the pantry!" I flung back the covers, jerked open our bedroom door, and there, between the doors of my pantry stood Moma elbow deep in a bag of Chex Mix. She wasn't even a little surprised when I opened the door. The truth is she did not care. She was munching on some Turtle Chex Mix (and no telling what else). Ugh....

Catch up

Whew! The last 72 hours has been a whirlwind of insanity. Starting with Wednesday night when I had to bodily remove her from the kitchen. She was determined (at 10:30 pm) to have her a cookie that I was baking for Thanksgiving. It was a very ugly scene, with her telling us to "ram the cookies" and to "Kiss her ass" (her favorite response to anything she doesn't like). I thought Kerry was going to have a stroke, he was so mad at her.
Thanksgiving day was another fun day. I made her sit down and watch the parade with me (she slept). When I started getting ready, she woke up and came into the bathroom with me (which is so typical). I got her a washcloth and got her started washing up. Too bad I cannot share those details because they are precious! lol When we got to Kerry's mother's house (which was so much fun loading food and Moma in the truck BY MYSELF), I sat her down at the table (to save time). When the food was ready, I fixed her a BIG plate with one of everything (her favorite). She began eating and did not stop the whole rest of the time we were there. I thought she would explode. She couldn't finish her dessert, so she did the logical thing. She dumped it off the PAPER plate it was on (because we wouldn't want to take that home) into a paper napkin and rolled it up and was about to shove it into her coat pocket. We all stopped her because the cake was not going to stay in the napkin and the icing would be all over her coat. Kerry's mother got up to get her some aluminum foil. Kerry was fussing at Moma. He took the foil and put it on the table and said in a rather loud voice...."HERE!" She flung the whole thing on the foil and said, "Take the damn thing". It was going down an ugly path, but I looked at her across that table and said, "Hush" in that voice my mother used to use in delicate situations and for some reason, it worked. We got home around 3, and my sister picked her up at 4:30 for Thanksgiving at her house. She kept her until 8:00!!!!!!!!!!!! Rebekah and I did not know what to do! We loaded up the dogs and got in the car in search of something (we really did not know what). After riding around 30 minutes, we ended up at McDonalds where I bought Bek and the dogs some Chicken McNuggetts and me a cheeseburger. Not what we wanted, but just so thankful to be out and to be free!!! We came home, built a huge roaring fire and watched Holiday Inn and White Christmas. It was a precious time with my baby girl!
This morning, Moma woke me up at 7:55 am yelling "You gone sleep all day?" Ugh.......

The Princess and the Lights (this should be a fairy tale)

I have been at home all day with the princess. She has not been too bad, but trying. About 3:00, I told her that we were going to see the lights tonight at the falls. I told her that she should go and pick out what she wanted to wear. I came in from taking the dogs out at 3:30 and she was already in that closet. Finally, at 5:30, I started trying to get her out the door. I begged her to take her little hat that goes with her coat, but she refused.
Kerry met us at the truck and got her out. She complained about being cold. She complained about having to walk. She complained about having to get on the train. Once we got on the train (and my camera's battery died after the first picture!), she started fidgeting. She looked at me and said, "Julie, help me hang on to this stick (her cane)" She was worrying it would fall out. I could tell she was about to freak out. When the train started, she begin to whine about being cold. I reminded her that I tried to get her to bring her hat. She pulled out a handkerchief and began trying to tie it around her head. I looked one time and it was over her forehead and eyes like a bandanna. She worked with it, missing half the lights, for what seemed like half the trip. I wanted her to enjoy the lights, but as usual, she was more interested in something that was all about her.
When I got her home, she did the Tim Conway shuffle step to her room and talked like an invalid for about an hour. In her mind, she had been through the wringer.
If you are close by, don't miss the lights at Noccalula Falls. They are spectacular, and there are lots of extras! Kids can write a letter to Santa, decorate a cookie, visit the petting zoo, and see Santa! Bring your kids and your camera! It is fabulous!

The details...

Okay Okay....I was home with her all day Saturday. She was bossy, nosy, and into everything. She had my things rearranged in every room in this house. I started cleaning house to get her to go to bed. For some reason when I get out the vacuum cleaner, she goes to her room! Afraid I'll ask her to help I guess. But even that did not keep her down Saturday. She had a nasty attitude too. She called Rebekah a liar, and argued with me about everything I said. So, on to Sunday. My day to go to church, and Kerry Payne's day to stay with her. When I got in from church, she was at the table eating. Kerry and Rebekah reported that she had eaten one of everything in the house. Kerry was parching peanuts in the oven to take to the golf course. She got her some peanuts out of the oven and cracked them. She had them in a napkin in her pocket. I caught her feeding them to the dogs. I took them away from her, and she scolded me, saying "You'll be sorry!" Then she started praying out loud. "Jesus, I can't eat nothing. Jesus help me Lord. Everything I do is wrong. Help me Jesus!" Of course, being the smart tail I am I shouted "NO JESUS HELP ME!!!" Kerry came in and fussed at her, and she put her fingers in her ears and said, "shut-up, shut-up, shut-up" over and over. She was awful all day. Arguing about everything, she made Kerry so mad at her I thought he might pack up and leave! I had to go back to church for our community Thanksgiving service, and once again, left him here with her. When I got home, it wasn't any better. They'd been at each other's throats, but she was in bed. As usual, in no time after my arrival at home, she came into the kitchen wanting something. Her speech was slow, but I didn't think anything about it since she'd been asleep. I fixed her chocolate milk which she dropped in the floor and spilled it everywhere. After I cleaned it up, I told her to go put on a dry gown. She said, "I hate to ask this, but can I have some more? I didn't get but a sip" UGH! I wanted to KILL her. After she drank the tiny amount I gave her, she went off to her room. She was staggering, but no more than usual. She got in her room and closed the door. We heard a thud, and Kerry said, "She fell!" I went down there and found her buck naked in the floor with a bleeding knee. We now think she had a mini stroke. The weekend went from bad to worse. She was CRAZY as a run over dog until she finally went to sleep. Ask me if I am weary...go on...I dare you.

Awful

She has been awful today! Just awful!!! Details to come later. Film at 11....

Sigh

Today, I am going to attempt to clean this nasty house. We usually put up a tree this week at some point. I have NO desire to put up a tree. I don't want to move furniture to make that happen. I really don't want to clean, except that I enjoy breathing clean air. The very life has been sucked right out of me. Thanks be to God, family and close friends, I do still have the Christmas spirit in my heart. I can close my eyes and be on Santa's lap in that old Sears building. I can still smell the popcorn from the dime store where my mother is looking at Christmas wrap. But then reality sets in when I catch her in my refrigerator feeding my dogs, or whining about how bad she feels. Send up a prayer for God to GIVE me what I need to continue this journey. He will supply, I know.

The Princess and MY MAKE-UP!

This morning at 5:30, I discovered that the little princess had been up all night working. She had rearranged everything in my bathroom and had gotten into my make-up drawer and had strategically placed items from that drawer all over the counter. She had even rearranged the jewelry I had left on the counter. Then I heard her in her room. She was opening drawers, moving stuff, bumping around like a mover. She opened her door. She had on her glasses, the paper in her hand, and her water mug. She was going to the kitchen. I stopped her because Kerry was still asleep. She said, "I'm a trying to get my bed made up and my room straightened up" like she was expected to do this. I said, "Obviously, you have worked all night!" She bowed up, "I certainly did not! I slept good last night!" So, instead of having a little time to myself this morning, I had to clean out my make-up drawer, and put it all in a plastic container in the closet. Great! I'll never find anything. That closet has almost everything I own in it. Guess I'm in the market for a safe.

Home again.....

Okay, we got home today and Moma was dead asleep. I mean OUT of it. We unloaded the car and put away all our stuff including all the Christmas stuff we bought!! She didn't wake up for about an hour! Wow!
The heat was off. The temp in our house was a chilly 63 degrees. We keep it on 67 but 63 is a bit cool. Two kamikaze birds had flown into our heating unit and died. Nice. Anyway, the house is a toasty (too warm) 69. Mr. Payne is trying to make up for her freezing the whole time we were gone. BUT! in our defense, no one bothered to tell us the heat wasn't coming on. Kelli slept fully clothed! but did she tell me? No.
When she woke up, she was all sweet, and I'm glad you're home, and I missed you, and I love you, but by the time we ate supper, she was back to her usual complaining. "This ain't fit to eat" she said about the Subway sandwich I bought her. "This bread ain't no good". The last time I got her a sandwich, I chose white bread for her thinking it might be softer. She said, "How come your bread is pretty and brown and mine is white?" So this time, you guessed it. I chose wheat bread for her, like ours, and she hated it. There is no winning with her EVER. The truth in this is that just when you think you are doing something for her that she will really enjoy. Forget it. Old people are so unpredictable, like small children. You can NEVER figure them out.

Has it only been 2 years?

Thursday the 12th was Moma's 2 year anniversary at our house. Seems like 20! (lol) Oh well....I'm in Gatlinburg. Kelli and Rebekah have Moma. Maybe I can get them to post.

My Off Day

How did I spend my off day?
Well, before I report the ramblings of the princess let me take a moment to personally thank every US soldier past and present! I do not take my freedom lightly. I am in AWE of you and what you do! Thank you guys (and gals) for the peace of mind to live my life without fear.
I awoke to the sound of my precious grandmother's cane thumping down toward the kitchen. She passed me in the bed and said, "Good Morning" like she sees me there all the time. Needless to say, I got up, and she wanted breakfast. You know I don't speak in the mornings so it is very hard for me to focus on what she is saying much less answer her. I got her fed and back to bed for her morning nap. She stayed down a couple of hours and I was able to wash clothes and get some work done. (Thank you Lord for small favors).
She awoke about 10:45 wanting something to eat. I told her to go get dressed and we'd go out for lunch. She snarled at first, but saw I wasn't taking no for an answer. It literally took her an hour to get ready. But then again, part of that time was spent standing and pawing through drawers looking for God only knows what. We finally got out of the house with her protesting the whole way. "I ain't got no business getting out." (yeah yeah, whatever) We went through the car wash, and on to DQ for chicken fingers and fries. I kept asking her what she wanted to eat, and finally she slapped my arm and said, "You know I ain't hard to please". I nearly ran off the road at such a lie. We ate without too much commotion. Then when we left, I decided to run to my school and put the plants I had in the back seat in my library. As we passed a group of black men working at a church, she said, "Hmm...Looks like the n****** are having a yard sale". I said, "Moma! Please don't say that word!" She said, "What??" in her high pitched voice, like a defensive southern belle. We left there and headed to the library to return some books on CD. She asked a million questions on the way. If she is confused about where we are, she'll say "What do they call this around here?" lol Uh, that would be downtown Gadsden. I tried to get her to go in the "dime store" with me, but she was having no part of it. I had an hour to kill before my dentist appointment. I managed to eat up 30 minutes, but went on to the dentist early, thinking I might get in fast. (No such luck)
Waiting rooms are a source of terror for me when she is in tow. She is liable to say or do anything. We sat there with her asking "Is the doctor here?" "Do they know you are here?" and other such nonsensical questions. Then.....she leaned in, patted my leg and said, "Hey"......(never a good sign). Fearfully I looked at her, "What?" I whispered hoping she'd take the hint to whisper too. She pointed at a man sitting 2 people away and said in a conversation tone, "Look how big his feet are!" OH MY GOSH!! I wanted to die. I was praying they'd call me so I could leave her. I turned my head to her and quietly said, "Hush". Soon they called me back, and I had to leave her out there for about 25 minutes to get x-rays. Secretly hoping she'd be gone when I got back, I went out to get her after they finished. I motioned for her to come to me. "What do you want?" she growled at me. "Come back and sit in the room with me while they clean my teeth" I said. "Good Lord!" she said, and got up. While in the room, she grunted, she moaned, she burped and hiccuped, she asked questions. She talked so loud about being thirsty, the office manager brought her some water. Needless to say, she has made her last trip to my dentist office.
Why do they let us out of school anyway? I'd much rather work.

Here's the sad news....

No, I did not just discover this. It's been in the back of my mind for YEARS! Are you ready? I am going to be 100% like my crazy lunatic grandmother!!! Maybe that is why I have so much resentment and disgust built up. How did I come to this conclusion?
A. I talk to my self like she does. I even have conversations with these imaginary people or I am rehearsing a conversation I am going to have.
B. Excessive gas, enough said.
C. We both love to eat and we prefer things that are not really good for us. Ice cream, chocolate, Dr. Pepper, etc. You get the picture.
D. We are both affectionate people, only she loves to be the center of attention and I prefer not to be.
E. We are both smart asses and hateful guts.
F. We both love animals.
G. We both pray about everything.
H. We are both clumsy.
That is just to name a few. Kerry says every day that he is living with Moma to the 2nd power. (Third if you count Rebekah, but she is not ready to handle this revelation yet)
The biggest difference is that she thinks the world should revolve around her and she should always be carried around on a down pillow. Me, however, I'm the workhorse. I expect nothing (and get it), but sometimes wish I had 5% of the world's revolution around me.
Today is my confession of this discovery that I have know for some time, just never wanted to admit it. Sigh...............

Where should I start?

Hoo boy! She has done so much lately....where can I begin?

Wednesday, the new sitter had to wrestle a chicken bone from her gnarly little hands. She had every intention of feeding the dogs. When I got home, the sitter was worn out. Before the poor woman left, Moma said to her, "I don't appreciate you telling on me".

Thursday evening, she was brand new again. She looked at our new church directory and could not find my parents' picture (that would be because there is no branch of Olan Mills in Heaven to make their picture). She found my sister but never mentioned my picture at all. She tried all night to slip something to the animals; ice cream, cracker, cookie, chocolate milk.....ugh.

Friday when I got home, Moma was asleep. The sitter had taken her out for ice cream and she had laid down afterward. I was busy settling in for the day when I heard her staggering through the house praying and moaning. I met her at the den door. "Moma, what is wrong?" She was shaking her head (hard) from side to side. "Something is wrong with me. I am going crazy!" Long story short, this episode lasted a good 15-20 minutes of her carrying on about feeling crazy and aching all over, and of course her famous line of not being about to explain it. Oh I can't forget that she kept complaining of being nervous. I gave her a random dose of 1 Tylenol and told her it was for her nerves. I instructed her to come into the den with me and sit down in front of the television and get her mind off her troubles. I went to the computer and paid her no attention, so she launched further into her 18th verse of her favorite song, "I'm dying". "Julie! Who....who can you call to pray for me?" "I'm praying for you Moma", I replied but of course I was praying for her to hush. "Call Sherry....(mumbled lots of totally nonsensical words) She needs to call the doctor." When she got no standing ovation for her performance, she got up. She staggered over to the door and announced that she was going to bed. I got up and followed her to her room to get her settled. I had no sooner stepped across the threshold of the kitchen when I heard her on the baby monitor. "Julie......JULIE.....JULIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I went back down there, and stood in the door for a minute watching her grand finale. "What?" I asked. "Have we got any chocolate milk?" Ugh!!!
So, the next time you think you may be dying, don't hesitate to pour you a big glass of this chocolaty wonder drink. It cures what ails you.

She fooled me again!

Yesterday, of course being another rainy yucky day, Moma was achy and whiny. She never feels good on days like these, but she didn't stay in bed like she usually does. She walked the floors, was demanding and bossy, and slept in a chair in the den moaning and groaning! I could not so much as go to the basement to wash clothes. At supper, I gave her "bedtime" meds with her supper meds hoping for a head start on a peaceful night. She stayed down about 2 hours. Up again wanting ice cream at 8:30. So I gave her some more "night night" meds because I have come to the conclusion that she is becoming immune to them. This time, she stayed down a little while longer, but all the while yakking and talking in her sleep. I know she is going to be crazy when she does this. At midnight, she got up and Kerry caught her in the kitchen. She wanted something to eat. He refused her telling her it was midnight and she could eat in the morning. She said, "But I am hungry now". Again, he told her no. She went back to bed and said, "You'll be sorry for this!" So then at 2 am she woke me up carrying on like a crazy person! She was "tremmmmling" all over. All she could tell me was that she was so nervous. I got up and got one of the little pills Dr. Robinson had given her for that. I went back to bed, and within 20 minutes, she was up again. This time she was standing in my living room in the pitch dark squatting down and standing up by the chair praying. "Moma, what is it now?" She can talk crazy when she wants to....she was mumbling and not saying really anything. "MOMA! What is it?" She looked up at me with blank eyes and said her famous "I don't know, I can't explain it" I started trying to get her back into her room as she was very loudly praying and swaying. I made her lie down, covered her up head to toe and dared her to get up again. She kept saying, "God can heal me or he can take me home". She was carrying on something good. I went to bed thinking that this may be her time. I laid awake awhile pondering on that while I could hear her in her room praying. But as always, she was up this morning by the time I awoke, acting as if nothing had happened. She is a drama queen extraordinaire!

Friday

Not much to report. She has been fairly typical. Feeding the dogs, lying about it, and getting mad when you catch her. She still rambles and steals things. She curses, worries about the front door being open, plugs up her night light at 4:00. She feels bad when it is cloudy (80% of the last 2 weeks). Wakes up and wants to talk and eat at 6:00 in the morning while I am getting ready for work. I could go on and on. I refuse to whine, but I hate her like this!!! She really isn't even funny anymore, just annoying. And I hate feeling like that too.
Life is fairly normal at the house. Normal being that she is crazy, kids are unpredictable, Kerry working all the time, me unorganized and scattered, and the animals being the only joy in my life. lol (I'm kidding......but they are the main joy in my life because they love me REGARDLESS!) lol

Quick Update

Status tonight: She is EEEEEETCHING!!!! and obnoxious. lol

Large and In Charge

I am back from a VERY restful and relaxing weekend in Nashvegas! My friend, Chip, has a beautiful condo in downtown Nashville. Thank you Kerry and Rebekah for allowing me some time off! I could NOT get through this without the two of you!!!!!!!!!!!
Moma is large and in charge. She was standing on the porch waiting on me when I pulled into the driveway. I came into the house and yelled, "Do y'all know she is on the porch?" In so many words, Kerry and Rebekah let me know that she could be waiting on me in the middle of the street for all they cared. Since I came home, she has bossed and tried to be in charge. She closes doors, checks the refrigerator, turns lights on (and off). She wants the TV on, she reads all my business, listens to my phone conversations, and tries to tell me what to do. At this point, I am also open to the idea of her waiting on anyone in the middle of my street! In fact, she just came into the room and told me to put my TV on a station (like what the heck is it on???) It's like she is restless. She is driving me CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!

Estate Sale

My husband's aunt died recently and he and I went out to her house shortly afterward to see all the "treasures" she had collected over the years. She was an avid bowler and lived and loved life to the fullest! (RIP Aunt Dot). We saw several things that we thought we might like to have when her things were put up for sale.
The estate sale is tomorrow, so Kerry's parents let us come out there tonight and look after they had priced everything. We took the princess. She sat in a chair for a little while, but soon got up carrying on about how she had "dishes like these" and so on. I was busy looking and not paying her any attention. The next time I saw her, she had gathered her up some crocheted house shoes and a little glass dog. She had rounded up a dollar and wanted to pay for her purchases. I tried to talk her out of the house shoes because I was afraid she would slip and fall in them. She barked back at me, " I bought these for someone else!" I said, "who?" She said, "all my grandkids!" (What am I? mince meat?) Of course, Kerry and his mother were encouraging her. She asked Kerry if he would bring her back to "this store when she gets some money".
We got in the car to go home (after she demanded a bag for her purchases), and she pointed to the numbers on the car's radio and said, "What prices are those?" I said, "Moma, that is the time". Help me....

Back to the doctor

Today Moma went back to the doctor for a re-check. My sister took her. She got a clean bill of health. She is over the cellulitis but he said to continue to do the cream on her legs for a couple of days. He gave her a new pill to help her sleep. My sister said, "I'll just get a few of them in case they make her crazy". I said, "Heck no! Get them all, I may take them!!!" lol
Got a CRAZY couple of days ahead of me, then on to Nashville for the weekend with my friend Kelli Jo!

Tired...

Today I am tired.
I am tired of:
buying a 20 ct package of Scot toilet paper every 2 weeks
buying a pack of 250 ct. napkins per week
answering the same questions all day
bill collectors calling us hunting our son
not knowing what is in store for my son, the wanderer
refereeing cats and tending to one's wounds
washing towels
fighting fleas
my nasty house
trying to keep Moma's stomach filled
trying to convince her that she will not die because our house is a bit cool
watching her so she doesn't feed the dogs and ramble in my things
not being able to do anything productive
being broke
having writer's block
having people in my house all the time (want some alone time in my own house)
of being fat
of being old
of feeling bad because I am tired of all of the above. Don't pity me. It will only make me worse. lol I am 100% better than I was 3 days ago. I have Super Woman Syndrome anyway. I'll be fine.
I am woman, hear me roar.

Tuesday Update

Let me back up and tell you about ALL the fun in my life. At 11:30 pm last night, I got a phone call from my crying daughter. "Mom, I am throwing up and my head is killing me". This is the child who was in a wreck Friday night. I instructed her to get in the bed and stay there, thinking maybe it was only a stomach virus but in the back of my mind thinking head injury. At 5:30 this morning I received a phone call from my sitter's husband. It seems she had taken a nasty fall and broke her leg. She went to the hospital by ambulance. I went back to bed and turned off the alarm. When I got up, I was wallowing in self pity.
My sister called and said the doctor's office said that I could bring Moma in before 11:30. It was 10:15. I started getting ready, waking her up to get ready, all while trying to make plans for a sitter for the rest of the week. I took her to the doctor's office (which is worthy of its own post) to find out that she has cellulitis. I spoke with the doctor about Rebekah's dilemma. He wants to see her in the morning, possible grade 3 concussion. (great, another day out of work)
I called to check on Sue (the sitter). She broke her leg so bad that she had to have surgery. She is a diabetic. This will be a LONG recovery. After Moma went to lie down, I busied myself trying to find a sitter. Rebekah called raising heck about having to come home to go to the doctor.
I decided to take the dogs out (for my health as well as theirs). The kittens went out too. While we were out, I noticed the neighbor's (my cousin) dog out. He is a vicious Lab. I hurried my dogs up and thought maybe the cats were on the deck. I came in and made some phone calls to prospective sitters, when I heard Gracie, the neighbor's little dog barking. I went out and saw my little white cat bowed up, so I went and got him. When I dropped him over the pet gate on the deck, he fell flat. I picked him up to discover the dog (one of them) had bitten him and his leg was broken. So, now I await Mytesa's arrival so I can take William to the vet
Just when you think nothing else can happen...it does. God give me strength.

Home

Today I am home with my grandmother because the sitter has fallen again. This time her leg is probably broken. I was devastated to get that call at 5:30 this morning. I know this is selfish but immediately I thought, 'Well there goes my trip to Nashville next weekend and I guess we can forget Gatlinburg!' Isn't that awful that was my first thought? I am just about at the end of my patience and good will. Pardon the pity party but I am due a good one. I am so tired of this life. Let me apologize in advance, but my life sucks.

Busy Busy Busy Busy

To say that she has had a busy weekend would be making an understatement. Although she has been lost as a goose, she has rambled and walked the floors, and NOT slept. She has also been seriously bossy as well. Today she has wanted to be in charge all day. She has closed blinds, turned off fans, closed and locked doors, etc. If you know me, you know that this is something that would drive me crazy...and it does.
She got a bath without much complaining, but when we finished, I brought her some clean house shoes and told her that I was going to wash her other ones, because they are dirty. As we were leaving the bathroom afterwards, she looked back and barked, "Get my shoes!" As poor as my great grandparents were, I wonder how they paid for her handmaiden. I know she had one.
She may have an infection in her leg. She may be going to the doctor tomorrow. Details to come.

Nothing Cute About Her

She is not cute today. In fact, she is beyond annoying.

She is convinced that she needs to go to the eye doctor. Her glasses are making her sick. They make her head feel funny. Who can take her to the eye doctor? Who is her eye doctor? How will she pay for new glasses? Well...will they examine her eyes? When can she go? Well, who will make her appointment? Well...who is in charge of things like that? Ad nauseum. This has been an ongoing conversation from 8:00 this morning to this present time. It is so bad I posted a sign on her bulletin board in the kitchen where we post the date and the day of the week. It says, "We will see about your glasses. Do not ask again".
She stayed at Sherry's today for a while for me to eat lunch with an old friend and grocery shop. When I picked her up, she wanted to know why I wasn't taking her home (when we pulled in my driveway). I said, "Moma! You live with me" She said, "Well, I didn't know that!" Augh!!!!!!

Pray for mercy.

Moma vs. Board of Education

Kerry went out of town.
I was left here with Moma.
I had a full week ahead of me.
I had to make some tough decisions.

Sigh.....Monday I had to work the ballgame. I had to be at the gate at 5:00. School gets out at 2:45, but I have afternoon duty until 3:15. I had to employ Sue to stay here until after the game. That meant a 13 hour day. Multiply that times $7 per hour. So when I found the next day that I was expected to attend the Board of Education's annual meeting at my school, I wanted to cry. I could NOT afford another lengthy day with a sitter, so I plotted and schemed about what to do. I even called my sister and was going to ask her to let me make a granny drop at her office at 4:30, but got her voice mail. So....I had the sitter dress up the little princess and I took her with me. My precious friend Kelli, who was at home with a sick child, committed to come and help me with Moma. I arrived fairly early, and we got her settled in my office with snacks and a glass of water. I turned on the news and told her to stay in there and be good, and I'd take her out to eat. We left the door cracked and she would wave at us during the meeting. I had to get up and turn off the lights for a presentation and when I looked back, there she stood in the doorway, peeking around to see what was going on. I flagged Kelli and said, "Go get her!!" Kelli tackled her and got her back into my office, but not before she talked OUT LOUD about were we through yet and what was going on. Other than that, she was good. When the Board went into executive session, we got up and left. We took the princess to DQ and got her chicken fingers and ice cream. She was thrilled!!! Of course, she was going to bring home all the ketchup and ranch dressing that we didn't use. Kelli had to swear that she wanted it. Moma made her wrap it up in a million napkins and put it in her purse. Ugh......(why do old people steal that kind of crap?)
But, she was good and slept all night!

Sigh....

I made a realization today. I waste so much time standing around waiting on my grandmother to finish eating or messing, or rambling or drinking her chocolate milk. She cannot be left alone in my kitchen (or anywhere else for that matter) under normal, regular circumstances. So, there is my excuse for never getting anything done!

Same ole same ole

Today has been one of those days that I really hate. It was a day of repeating myself and answering the same questions all day.
"What day is this?" "Did you say today is Sunday?" "Is this Friday?"
"Huh?" " I didn't understand you" "WHAT??"
"Where is Kerry?" "When did you say Kerry would be home?"
I would almost rather it be a day of ugly attitude and rambling. No....well? Hmmmmm......I'll have to ponder that.

Moma's Big Day

I meant to post this last night, but just plain got too lazy to do it. My book is getting so good, I can't put it down. Sorry!
Yesterday I had to stay at home with Moma because our sitter had a doctor's appointment. It was beauty shop day, so if I have to stay home, that is a good day to do it. I got up around 7ish, fixed her coffee and was getting her breakfast ready, expecting her to come in any minute. When she had not come by 7:30, I went to her room. There she lay in all her royal glory fully dressed head to toe covered up sound asleep! There is no telling how long she had been dressed. She even had on her glasses. I woke her up to come eat. She was very confused about the day, but came into the kitchen with me. I guess me being home during the week was a little confusing. She tried to feed the dog her muffin, but I caught her. I warned her. "If you do that, we will NOT go out to lunch today". Her response? "SHIT!" and threw it back into her plate. After breakfast, there was still an hour before time for us to leave. I had cleared the table and was busying myself with feeding the dogs, cats, etc. I looked up and she had her head on the table. I woke her up and assured her she had time to go back and lie down.
When it was time to leave, I went to get her up. I looked down and saw her white shoes and white purse. I just casually said (for those of you who know this is a pet peeve of mine, I wasn't mean to her) "Moma, it is past Labor Day. Next time, wear the black shoes". When we got into the car, she said, "I ain't got no business wearing these white shoes! Why didn't you tell me?" I won't mention every time she said something about the white shoes, but she was torn up over them all day.
When I picked her up at the beauty shop, she was ready to go eat. We went to wash the car first, and then I asked her if she wanted to go get some of that potato soup that she loved from Logans. She said "okay". When we got there, the hostess said she only had tables available. I told her that would be fine, but I knew it would NOT! Moma hates tables in the middle of the floor. She ALWAYS wants a booth. She was going to complain, but I shushed her. Our cute little waiter came and got our drink orders. The next table became occupied by 2 women. Their drinks came before ours (different server) and Moma pointed (yes, pointed!) at them and said loudly, "We were here before them!!" Again, I shushed her. We ordered when our drinks arrived. She began picking at everything on the table. I knew the peanuts would be a problem. And they were. She tried to eat a few, but couldn't so she began loading up her purse with peanuts. I said, "Moma, if you cannot eat them here, why are you taking them home?" She whispered to me like it was a big secret "I'm gonna crack them when I get home". Our food came. She began complaining about her soup right off the bat. It had cheese in it. She kept cheese stringing from her mouth to the bowl the whole time. She asked for a piece of chicken from my salad, then looked up at me so confused and said, "There ain't a bit of chicken in my soup!" "Well that would be because it is POTATO soup!" The little waiter was so kind, and she was so rude (but then again, she always is). I paid the check, got a drink in a go cup (and of course she had to have one). I put my purse on my arm and she yelled out "I ain't ready to go!!" The urge to strangle her was so strong....I let her sit about 5 more minutes and then I just got up. I was leaving with or without her! When we started out, I said, "I need to go to Wal-Mart" She said, "Oh Goody! Can I go?" I told her that she could but she had to ride in a wheel chair. She agreed wholeheartedly. So off we went! When we got to Wal-Mart, she begged to sit in the car. Of course, I said no. Then as we walked to the front door, she said, "Well where IS Wal-Mart?" Then, we had to wait on them to bring us a chair. When she saw it coming, she said, "Oh I ain't riding in a wheel chair!" I said, "Okay, then let's go home". She happily got into the chair then. She was so good in the wheel chair. I would not mind taking her more often if she'll ride. The only funny thing she did after that was beg for a bag of M&Ms in the check-out line. I feel like I am raising a child.

Buckle up, this is going to be a bumpy ride!

Know what a real southern belle HISSY FIT is?? Well I pitched me one tonight! You don't have hissy fits YOU PITCH THEM!!! I think I threw out my back and I strained my wrist. I did myself in, and I am the worse for it. So, what caused it? Why did I pitch me one?? The little precious princess, that is why.......
Let me back up....
This afternoon when I came home, the princess was sitting up in the den watching TV. Sue said she had been fine all day. I told her that she had NOT closed her eyes the day before, so she had better be good for me tonight. After Sue left, I told her that after supper we were going to get her bath. She balked, but I held fast. She went into the living room to look out the window. In a little bit, she came into the kitchen. "I don't want to get a bath tonight". "Too bad" was all I responded with. She went back into the living room. Kerry came home. He was going to play cards, so I ran to get Moma and me a sandwich. He called me and said, "She just said that she hopes you don't get her ham, she can't eat ham any more". So when I returned, I fixed her the left over Arby's roast beef. While we ate, she asked about 25 times where Kerry was going. Then she said, "What are you eating?" I told her, and her response was "I wish you'd gotten me ham". AUGHHHH!!!! As we finished up eating, she started her act. "Please don't make me take a bath tonight. I feel so bad". "Hey..can I wait and get one in the morning?" "I wish y'all would consider my feelings" I stood my ground, until she said, "You just want everything your way". I lost it! I turned off the TV, threw the remote control to the bar, and screamed "FINE! JUST STINK!!! I don't give a shit what you do!" and I stormed out of the kitchen. I heard her mutter, "Well if you are going to act like that, I'll take my bath". I was fuming! She came into the den and said, "I'll get my bath, come on". ONLY because she stinks and needed one so badly did I go draw her water.
(NOTE: I am having to write this in shifts, as my blood pressure gets up just remembering her antics tonight)
Watching her take a bath reminds me of a busy little 4 year old. She washes EVERYTHING at least 7 times. She wipes her nasty bottom and then returns the wash cloth to her face and starts over. GAG! But I figure as much as she soaps everything, it works out okay. Just like I have reported before, she doesn't want to get in and then she doesn't want to get out. She got out and was drying off, and I said, "Now aren't you glad that is over?" She mumbled something. She powered and patted herself with a powder puff for 20 minutes. I just let her. When she came out, she went to her room. I thought that MAYBE she'd be tired and go to sleep. I heard her TV so I thought it might be safe to take my bath. My first mistake was going in her room to tell her that I was going to take a bath for her to stay in her room (this actually works sometimes). I no sooner started the shower, when I heard the thump of her cane coming through the house. I grabbed a towel and came out WET to find her crazy self in the refrigerator. I screeched, "What are you doing???" She stumbled out some words, not making any sense. Then she started toward me.."I wanted to ask you..." I started screaming, "I asked you to stay in your room!!!!!!!! GET TO YOUR ROOM!! I WILL TALK TO YOU WHEN I GET OUT OF THE SHOWER!" She looked really disgusted at me and said, "Well, you made me forget what I wanted to ask you". I just walked back in the bathroom and started screaming! I mean, like a 12 year old! SCREAMING!!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! I slammed the shower door (sorry Kerry) so hard it should have broken, but the grace of God kept it intact. I wanted to strangle her!!! I did some serious talking to God in the shower, but He knows my heart. I reminded Him of the night I stood outside and looked up at the stars and said, "Lord, I cannot do this. This is not one of my things, but if you'll give me what I need, I'll take her into my home until she dies". I asked for more of the same.
When I got out and settled, I could hear her coming down the hall. "Julie...I remembered what it was I was going to ask you. Did I take all my medicines?" After my hissy fit, I got up and got her some "night night" meds, so tempted to OD her (not really, but entertained the thought). She said, "Don't be mad at me" I argued the point again that she cannot do what I ask her to do, and she is driving me crazy. She then promised to go to bed and leave me alone. (HA!) In about 10 minutes, I heard her again. "Julie" "Julie!" I turned to look at her, afraid to speak for fear fire would roll off my tongue. "Where is Sherry? She was supposed to come bring me my medicine before I go to bed. Have you got any?" and on and on with her nonsense. "You just had your medicine, I just gave it to you". She looked strange. "Does Sherry know?" Augh!!!! She isn't finished. I expect her back in here at least 4 more times. I am seriously losing it. My hissy fit caused me to throw out my back and hurt my wrist. And now I have a headache with the promise of a small stroke. Tomorrow I can laugh about this, tonight, I am ready to cry!

Ugh....

Moma has irritated me beyond belief today. I'll admit that more than anything, it's me, not her. This rainy, dark, dreary weather along with allergy crap has me ill and less than pleasant. Last night I was convinced that I was getting the flu, since I was exposed yesterday. After taking medication today, I am better (snot-wise anyway).
Okay back to the princess. This has been one of those days when she can't remember what day it is, even though it is posted on the bulletin board in the kitchen. She also cannot grasp what time of day it is, morning or evening. She's fed animals all day. She's rambled a good bit. She has been EXTREMELY deaf today. She has been up under me, in the way all day. She simply cannot understand that standing to look out my kitchen window while I am fixing a meal is so very IN MY WAY! Her grunting has been excessive today as well. All in all, it has been a typical day for her. Like I said, it has been more me than her. This is how she is every day.
Where is the "Sunshine....on my shoulders...." I miss it.

Trying to Remember

Today, I am trying to remember the last time Kerry and I could pick up and go somewhere together. When was I able to grab my keys and take off without making arrangements for anyone? I wanted to sit out on my patio today and work on an article, since she had "turned in" after supper. I had no sooner got settled when the door opened and there she stood in the doorway of the entrance with NO handrail. She needed something on her hand. Ugh.....I just gathered up my laptop and came back in the house. I know this too shall pass, but I miss my freedom.

Brand New Again, but worse than ever!

Wow!! I know I have joked in the past about Moma being "brand new" but today is the worst she has ever been. It isn't as bad as when she doesn't know me, but a consistent "brand new" that isn't going away.
When I got home today she was in her bedroom. Sue said she had been cranky and complaining all day (which is getting more and more to be the norm). She got up after about 30 minutes. She thought it was 4:45 in the morning. When I told her that it was afternoon, she said, "Have I slept all day?" I reassured her that she had not. Then she asked if we were going to eat supper or breakfast. I finally got her to go back and lie down (sometimes she "resets" when she does that), while I fixed our supper. She asked if she had taken her medicine about 8 times. She asked if I had any children. She looks at stuff in my house like she has never seen it before.
When I woke her to eat, she again asked if we were eating breakfast or supper. She ate really good, but never said one word. She followed me around like she didn't know where to go or what to do. She finally sat down and asked, "Is it time for me to go to bed?" It is pitiful. She isn't hurting or doesn't seem to feel bad. She is just lost. Pain would be better than this. At least, there would be a reason.

But Next.....

Today, I was vacuuming and polishing this beautiful oak buffet my husband's great great grandmother beamed to us by way of the death of an aunt. It turned out gorgeous! I began vacuuming the floor around the buffet where a chest had been previously. Moma, who has been underfoot ALL weekend, started talking to me. Of course, I had to turn off the vacuum. "Yes m'am?" She said, "Hon, that looks real good and I'm glad you got that, but next you need to clean off that table". UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How did I ever get by without her infinite wisdom and help???
She has literally been up under me all weekend. She has run her hands over everything in this house at least twice. We have had a discussion about everything hanging on my walls and in my house. My favorite question this weekend..."Do y'all sleep down here? (referring to the den)" After I told her that we slept in our bedroom. She then said, "Well where is it?" Precious.

Spoiled plans

So much for planning out my Saturday. I was going to clean house, wash clothes, and then go see my friend's new baby. Daughter came home from school, husband home from golf course because of the rain, grandmother lost as a goose.
Okay, it has rained like 12 days in a row. I am about to lose it!!! At this point, I don't even use an umbrella. Why? My hair looks like crap anyway. Everyone is ILL over the rain. Ugh...can't do anything about it so....okay back to Moma.
She has been lost all day. She walks around my house looking at everything like she has just arrived. She asks questions like, "Can I go up there and lay down?" Must be a miserable feeling to not really know or understand what is going on.
Auburn is kicking off....more later!! War Eagle! HEY!

Rainbow

I had to go to a conference today in Birmingham. When I got home, Moma had been talking smart to Sue again. So I told Kerry on her.
During supper, Kerry told her she could not have more chocolate milk (while I got up to fix it anyway) because she had been ugly to the sitter again. She gave him the same argument she gave me previously that "she talks smart to me" and "she started it". He said, "Well, you cannot run this sitter off because we don't have anyone else to stay with you, and you will have to go into a nursing home". OH ME! She went into a spasm. Remember that when I threaten this, she blows me off. She begged him to stop threatening her with that. She said that before she'd go into the nursing home, she'd ask God to take her home (like its HER plan, time, way, will, hour, etc.). He was not being ugly to her, and reassured her that we were not mad at her, but we wanted her to be very careful not to make Sue mad or hurt her feelings. She said, "I didn't know she was running and telling on me every time I say something to her!" Kerry finished his "lecture" with her, and went out on the deck to receive a cell call.
In just a minute, he came in and said, "Get Moma and come here!" I took her out on the deck and Kerry carried her out to the edge and showed her a double rainbow. It arched way over into the next street and had another rainbow on top about half that size. When he pointed it out, she immediately clasped her hands together and started grinning from ear to ear. "OH ITS A RAINBOW!" she said, obviously tickled to death to see it! As we stood there, I was fighting the lump in my throat, watching her delight in this glorious sight, she called my name. "Julie....what is it they say.....I mean....what does a rainbow mean? I can't remember". My heart sank. She has forgotten something she has reminded me of all my life. When I told her, she said, "Oh yeah...I forgot". How sad that this little ambassador for our Lord has forgotten one of his promises. I am praying that God does not tarry.

Hateful

This afternoon when I got home, Moma was asleep. Sue reported that she had been a little nasty at lunch over (what else?) feeding the dogs. Moma told her that she was the hateful-est damn thing she'd ever seen! But Sue said other than that Moma was good. When Moma got up, she came into the den where Kerry and I were watching the city council meeting on our local channel. He wanted me to hear something that happened. She wanted to talk. "Who....who is that wom-ern that stays with me?" "Sue" I answered. "Who?" "Sue!" "Jewel?" "yeah" I agreed. (This is what I do after the first repeat, I just agree) "She's hateful" I just ignored this as we were watching TV.
I got up to go into the kitchen to throw something together for supper because I had to attend a meeting. She followed me into the kitchen. "That wom-ern that comes here....what's her name?" "Moma, her name is Sue" "What?" "Sue" "Jewel?" "Yes" "Well she is hateful. She talks so ugly to me". I said, "Now Moma, she only talks hateful to you when you are ugly to her. You can be hateful too, you know." She said, "Well today she was ugly to me" I said, "Yeah, and she said you were ugly too". She said, "Well she started it". Kerry called out from the den. "Stop arguing with that four year old!" I live on the funny farm.....

Rainy Days and Mondays

Actually only rainy days get me down, Mondays are okay! lol I always loved to hear Karen Carpenter sing. And even though it is rainy today, I am feeling much better. I think getting back into my routine helps! I am in need of structure! Loosey goosey makes me crazy.
Moma has been fine today. She ate good supper, watched her show (Wheel of Fortune) in her room, went to bed early and so far has stayed there. She gets an A today. And since she has been a good girl, I'll share something from her past.
When I was a little girl, I thought my Moma was the funniest woman in the world. We would get in her big ole black dodge (or later in her "new" Plymouth) and go all over the town. When she'd see an old man, she referred to him as an "old codger", and this made me laugh so hard it hurt. She would mock her "whiny" friends and sing to the top of her voice (out of tune). She would stop at Biff Burger and get us a cheeseburger, fries, and a chocolate milk shake. I'd take the lid off my shake and dip my fries in. Yum!!! (I do this at Wendy's with a frosty! Yum again) A day on the town with my Moma always brought about adventure, usually something for me, and so much laughter my sides would hurt.

Welcome Home

Moma has told me 25 times if she's told me once "I sure did miss you". God love her. The report was that on Saturday she was mean to the sitter. She was threatened with a phone call to me. lol I feel like I left a 4 year old at home with the sitter. lol
I did NOT want to come home. I am so at peace at the beach. I do believe I could seriously live there with no regrets. I know if you lived there, you wouldn't go every day, but I would like to give it a run.......
September brings about that melancholy feeling I get every fall. I can feel the beginning of that dreaded feeling that comes in like clockwork. In September 1990, I had this feeling of impending doom that I could not explain. Then on October 22 of that same year, my daddy was killed in a car wreck. It has been nearly 20 years and it is fresh as it was the year after. Say a prayer for me when you pray. I don't like bringing anyone down, just covet your prayers.

Ahhhhhhhhh

I am at the beach for a much needed break. Everything is wonderful except the news I got today. Rebekah had a stinking wreck!
Ugh...

Candy

"Julie"......"Julie!"
"What Moma?"
"Write me a check"
"For what Moma?"
"I want me some candy!"
Ugh............

Short Post

She is brand new tonight! BRAND SPANKING NEW.....interpretation for those of you not hip to my slang....She has JUST arrived or woke up!! She asks initial type questions. For instance, tonight, she asked me if I was "over" all the washing here (at Payne House for the Mentally Challenged).
Her being brand new always entertains us.

Child under foot

I am remembering what it was like having small children under my feet. That is what this weekend has been like. While I fixed her breakfast, she stood between me and the microwave, between me and the coffee maker, stood right where the refrigerator opens so I would knock her down if she didn't move. I tried kindly suggesting that she go sit down. She wanted to look out the window in the HEART of my kitchen work area. Ugh!
Later, I sat down at the den table to work on a scrap book. Here she came. She had to pick up every picture (forget laying things out in order), asked 40 questions about each one, all the while grunting and/or coughing in my ear. Once she yawned and did that "old person" thing where they holler with the yawn right in my ear! I seriously wanted to open the french doors and shove her out! Not only did it startle me, but it hurt my ear.
I have caught her twice this weekend standing on my front porch leaning down to pick dead leaves off my plants that line my STEPS!! I could see her head first rolling down the steps. I only hope I am that agile when I am old (er)! She was reaching to the 3rd potted plant (down three steps) with her feet planted on my porch. I would have fallen myself if I tried to do that.
Too bad this long weekend has not been restful for me! But I have a little beach trip coming up, so I'll make up for it!!

You got any cookies?

She's on an eating binge again. Tonight, Kerry brought home spaghetti plates from some senior fund raiser (thank you honey!!). Moma ate her spaghetti and her bread. Then she ate most of her piece of cake that came for dessert. After supper, I went to walk and when I came in, Kerry reported that she had gotten up to eat the rest of her cake, which she dropped in the floor, but picked it up and ate it anyway. Then she wanted some milk, and before she went to bed, asked him, "You got any cookies?" LORD!!! Just now, she got up for some more milk. She asked for Tylenol then. I asked her where she was hurting, and she said "no where, I want it to make me sleep". I gladly got out her Tylenol PM and dosed her up! I hear the princess snoring as I type. Yes!

Kerry and the beauty shop

Our sitter is still under the weather, so today Mr. Payne stayed at home with the princess. Yes, he had Princess Duty today. As you know, if you are a faithful blog reader, Wednesday is beauty shop day. Kerry took the old girl to La Casa de Bonita to see Dinah and all her friends. He reported that as soon as he got her in the door, they began busying themselves fixing her coffee and gathering her some cookies. She told him that she wanted to come to the beauty shop EVERY Wednesday. He now knows why.
When he picked her up, he had the pleasure of taking her out to eat. I figured he'd bring her back home and fix her a sandwich, but the princess usually gets her way. He took her to Gail's cafe and got her a take-out plate. He said she really wasn't happy about it, but finally agreed to it. (She wanted to go inside!) I guess she figured if she argued, he'd take her home and she would have to eat a sandwich (She has learned he doesn't "play her stupid games" as he puts it).
I am so glad he got to experience the beauty shop. This is truly one place where she reigns on her throne the whole time she is there! Thank you Dinah (and all your crew) for loving on my Moma.

A Sweet Time

Late this afternoon, I had to meet Rebekah with her medicine. I went out on the deck and told Moma that I needed to run to the drug store and get Rebekah's medicine and meet her in Glencoe with it. I told her that I wanted her to ride with me.
As we passed her former home (where she lived from age 7 until 2007), she said, "I don't like to ride by here. It makes me so sad." I had to choke back the lump in my throat. I feel exactly the same way. I want to stop, and take her HOME! Sit on her porch and play "Doodlebug", and dig in her flower bed. I could feel the hot tears forming. I turned onto Wall St. where the drug store is.
She sat in the car while I ran into the drug store. I parked right out front of Jerry's so I could watch her. She rambled through my purse while I waited on the medicine. After returning to the car, and turning onto Sansom Ave. I felt that lump in my throat forming again. "I sure do miss my little town" she said. OMG! I am dying here......Memories of her taking me to Elmore's and the library and Phillip's Drug Store came rushing in on me. I could feel the Keds tennis shoes on my feet; the ones she bought me. They were plaid T-strap tennis shoes, very unique (because my fat little fingers had a hard time tying shoes). I could smell the library, the dime store......I had to just ride in silence, thankful to be heading out of Alabama City; her little town.
On down the road a bit, I gathered my wits and talked with her just like nothing in our lives had changed. We talked about how different parts of town have grown up, and how some places that used to look nice were now shabby. She asked me what "Glencoe" was called, and soon we arrived at the First Baptist Church where I meet Rebekah. When we parked, I rolled down the windows and opened the sun roof. There was a nice breeze, and the mountains were in our view. I silently thanked God for all the precious times I have had with this now difficult little woman. She asked about my sister, and I jokingly said, "Who needs her?" We laughed, and she said, "She don't love me like you do. You always loved me best" Of course, I know my sister loves her, but what a precious compliment. As we sat waiting on Rebekah, God put this thought in my mind. What if tonight were her last night? What if she never gets in my truck again? What if we never have a lucid conversation again? She may be a pill most days, but she is still the best friend this chubby little girl could have ever had. How blessed I am!

Thinking out loud

In yesterday's post (and it was a doozy), I mentioned that Moma thinks out loud. Sometimes we hear the complete thought and sometimes only a portion. For instance, today at lunch, Rebekah and I were talking while Moma finished her lunch. All of a sudden, I heard, "....piled up over there!" When I asked her what she said, she claimed that she had not said anything.
Rebekah and I went to Wal-Mart for groceries, pet stuff, etc. When we came in, Moma was in the living room waiting on us. Kerry said, "You won't believe what she said while you were gone!" He told us that she had walked the floors and asked a million questions while we were gone. He was watching TV in the den, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw her peek around the door. Then OUT LOUD she said, "I don't know why I'd want to sit with his ass.....(and she turned to walk away) I'd rather sit with a N***** (socially unacceptable term)"
And I thought I might take her to the singing at church tonight. Uh.....no.

Princess mode

This morning the princess got up at 7 am for a stroll through my house. Clomp, clomp, clomp! I think she pounds that cane into the floor when she thinks I am asleep, hoping to wake me (and it does). This morning, I just laid there refusing to move. Kerry was in the shower (Golf day starts early), and she finally gave up and went back to bed. But, as luck would have it, I was awake so I got up. Thinking that she would get up in a few minutes, I went ahead and made coffee. At 10:00, I woke her up! "Are you going to sleep all day?" I asked, thinking to myself, why can't you do this when I am getting ready for work? That was when she sat up and declared, "I ain't got no diapers! You got any?" Now, this throws me into panic mode. I began searching her usual hiding places. She kept saying, "You needn't waste your time, I done looked there". Aughhhhhh!!! I found a bag of pull-ups that we bought for her awhile back thinking they might fit better than adult diapers (and they would if she didn't have child bearing hips). I told her to pull it up as far as she could get it to eat breakfast, and I'd get her some diapers. I got her started eating breakfast and called my high school BFF. She went to Dollar General and got 2 bags of diapers (Thank you Mytesa!!)
After breakfast and a clean diaper, the princess went back to bed. At 11:15, I heard her call on the baby monitor. "Julie" "Julie" "Julie" "JUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUULLIEEEEEEEEEEE!!" I was on the phone, but I got off and charged down to her room expecting her to be quoting her last will and testament. "Hey! Brang me something to eat" Grrrrr....urge to kill. "No, we don't eat in the bed. You can come to the kitchen". She was so mad! "I can't!" she barked. "Moma, there is NOTHING wrong with you. You are physically able to get up and WALK to the kitchen! And if you want something to eat, you will" "JUST FORGET IT!!! There IS something wrong with me, but just forget it if you don't want me to eat". Silently counting to ten, and wanting to rip her out of that bed by the hair of her head, I quietly responded, "Are you hungry for lunch already? or do you just want a snack?" "It don't matter", she said, "whatever you want me to have". I spun around, went to the kitchen to prepare her royal lunch. When it was ready, I called to her from the door. "Come eat!" and turned and walked away. She walked better than me to the table.
As is always the case, after she eats, she returns to bed. Not 10 minutes after closing her door did I hear, "Julie" "Juuulie" "Julie" Juuuuuliiiieeee" quite pitifully. So tempted to play deaf, I let her call again, several times, but guilt always wins out. "What Moma?" I asked upon entering her room. She had the back scratcher down her back digging like she was looking for water. "I need something for my back, it's eeeeetching". UGH!!!! I went to the kitchen to retrieve her cream the doctor gave her (which is really working well, Thank you Dr. Jacobson!) I made her strip off naked, and went ahead and did the whole treatment (no more wet pajamas!) She finally laid back down and I got a little peace.
The rest of the day, she has been up and down. Very busy, very needy, very confused. Asking one question after another. She talked all through my afternoon movie treat (The Thrill of It All with Doris Day and James Garner), in other words she has been obnoxious. She worried about supper from 3:25 until I finally gave in and fed her at 5:30. Then Kerry went and got us Popeye's chicken since she had already eaten (the crust is too hard for her), but her radar was sharp today. She woke up and came in the kitchen while we were eating, looking for hers. After explaining that she had already eaten, and could not eat that crust, she said, "I know, I ain't a fussin', I know". She went to look out the kitchen window. Her thoughts slipped out and she said, "didn't get me nothing!" Kerry and I fell out laughing!!!!
Some days, I don't know how I can make another day. But I asked the Lord in 2007 to give me what I needed to do this, and He has. I think I am due a refill!

Hot Water

At 5:30 this morning, I awoke and went into the bathroom to the silky sound of pouring water. The faucet in my sink was spilling hot water at a pretty fast rate. I never heard her in the bathroom in the night, so I must have slept really good. The water had been running long enough that the bottom of the sink and the faucet were both very warm to the touch. Wonder what that will run my water and gas bill up to? I feel like I have a small child in my home again. Nothing is left unturned, everything has run through her fingers, and nothing is sacred. She takes things, plunders through everything, and will, in a minute, throw things away.
She has been lost and confused all day today. She cannot remember that she has just taken medicine, just been told what the day is, and just eaten. She can't stay in the bed; restless for some reason. This may sound cruel, but I wish God would take her home to be whole, and happy, and to be reunited with her Mother, children, husband and her sisters. I hate seeing her this way.

Get on the Bus

For the last few days, Moma has gotten up at a bright and shining 5:00 am when I get up. As you can guess, this is the LAST thing I want to happen. This morning, I planned to let her start getting ready for her doctor's appointment upon her early rising. Then I would deliver the princess to my sister on my way to work (killing 2 birds with one stone, no elaboration!) But of course, on this morning when I needed her to rise and shine....she didn't. I woke her up to get her started, but she was not moving. I called and called her. Finally, I opened her closet door and shut it hard to startle her awake (yes, I admit that is kinda cruel). Getting her ready, feeding her, and getting out the door was like pulling teeth! She couldn't understand why she could not cram just ONE more diaper in her purse, so she carried one in her hand.
My sister told me that after they got out of the doctor's office, she was looking for the bus....you know...the one they rode to Birmingham.
Tonight, she hated my supper, so I let her fry her own egg. I was just too tired to fight her. lol

Long live the princess!

Today, Sue, Rebekah and I were in the den watching the kitties play, when Rebekah said, "Do I hear her hollering?" We listened. Sure enough...."HEY!!!" we heard. "HEEEEEEEEEYYYY!!" We all three charge down the hall toward her room. Rebekah beat us to her. "Commeeere" she motioned for Rebekah to come toward her. "What Moma?" There she lay in all her royalty, covered up to her neck with her arms out, hands clasped across her chest, with her sleep cap on. "I'd like something to eat" she declared. OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was livid! I turned away from her before I threw my shoe at the Princess of Helplessness. Rebekah told her that we did not deliver meals to her in bed, that she'd have to get up. I was back in the kitchen NOT listening to her nonsense. Rebekah came back to the kitchen an

Publish Post

d said, "you missed her order!" "What?" "Oh yeah," she said, "she wants a fried egg and a biscuit" She thought it was morning.
AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Treatment for the "EEEEEtch"

My sister took my grandmother to the dermatologist last Wednesday for her psoriasis. She prescribed the most GOD AWFUL treatment you have ever heard. We have to take this cream, put it on (rubbing in the direction the hair grows-what's up with that?), and then cover it with wet cloths. Okay, she is COVERED in this stuff, so I wet pajamas, and she has to wear wet pajamas for ONE HOUR! Oh me, you can imagine! She hollers, she whines, she fusses, she threatens to take them off and declares "I ain't NEVER doing this again!" And we are to do this twice a day! Okay, day one, we did it once for 20 minutes. Day 2, I showed the sitter when I got home how to do it, so once on day 2. Day 3 she got it twice because my sitter is really an angel sent from Heaven who did this for me!!!! (Lord, bless Sue real good!) Day 4 (Saturday, today) I only managed to get it done once. She tries to die! I know it must be very uncomfortable to wear wet pajamas, but I didn't order it!
It takes a good 20 minutes to cover the places with the stupid cream, which is thick and gross feeling. The whole time you are applying it, she is pointing to other places hollering "Hee-uh" You cannot have any rhyme or reason to your application for her trying to help you. Today, I finally said, "Look! I'm doing this MY way!" She said, "forgive me". Sigh....
This ungodly treatment is a result of our precious insurance industry saying "Oh no, don't use what you KNOW will work! We won't pay for that until you do some really old and stupid stuff" Ugh...She goes back next week. Her skin actually looks better, but I ain't doing that for the rest of her life.
Old age sucks!

OMG!

Oh my gosh!! I submitted an article to the Denver Christian Family magazine (or is it Denver Family Christian?) about my journey with Momaw....and it is being published!! Wow! I'm in print! LOL

Ugh

It is 3:54 am on Sunday, August 16th. I am at my kitchen table writing this post because I can't go back to sleep. My crazy grandmother woke me up an hour and a half ago. I hate being 50 because there is no "going back to sleep" which has NEVER been a problem for me. Once someone wakes me into a full awake status....ugh. Sleep never returns.
Kerry and I had gone to bed around 10:30. My crazy nocturnal kids were not even home yet. We always leave a lamp on in the den for Rebekah because she parks out back. About midnight, the phone rang and woke me. I am blind without my glasses/contacts and I was fumbling around trying to answer it when I heard Rebekah say, "Who is pushing buttons on the phone?" I apologized and tried to hang it up. Startled but not fully awake, I went back to sleep. The next thing I heard was a loud knock on our door, the door opening, and my crazy grandmother entering the room hollering, "I hate to wake y'all up but there is a leak in my kitchen floor". I checked the clock, 2:30, ugh...........I got out of bed to attend to her, and noticed that every light is on from one end of the house to the other, not sure if she turned them on or the kids left them on. I started walking to her room saying to her that she doesn't have a kitchen, to no avail. Of course, there was NO WATER on the floor in her room. I told her that, but she argued. She wanted me to pull her bed out from the wall and look behind it. NO WATER!!! Then she told me to put my hand down there and feel it. NO WATER!!! I am not a nice person when I first wake up, so I wanted to ring her neck and dress her for our Sunday dinner! She was still arguing with me as I slammed her door screeching, "GET IN THE BED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I got back into the bed knowing full well that sleep would not come. So here I am, sitting in my kitchen, trying to be quiet, while everyone else in my house sleeps. And tomorrow is MY church day. I'll never wake up. Ugh...........

The Beauty Shop Just Wears Her Out!

Beauty shop days are usually restful, because it wears her out! This is her after her adventure this past Wednesday! Hopefully, I'll be that limber at 96! lol

Psoriasis is terrible

You all know how I hate to scratch her when she "eeeeeeetches", but tonight she pulled down her pants in the kitchen (precious) to reveal a case of psoriasis like I have never seen! There is maybe a couple of inches on her lower back that is not covered. Her skin is red and flaky all over her back. Her arms and legs don't look much better. She now has it on her face and in her scalp. She picks at it constantly. We cannot make her understand that the heavy robes she wears is suffocating her skin. She thinks she is cold but her skin in suffocating. AND she wants to coat it in Vaseline!!! We are taking her to a dermatologist the 19th. We think she is the very best dermatologist in Alabama, maybe the US! Dr. Elizabeth Jacobson in Inverness has done wonders for me, my family and my friends. We love her!!!

Sunday Quickie

This afternoon while I was at the grocery store, Sherry came by to pick up something for the grand kids on her way to church. Moma was trying to talk to her (about money and the bank) while Sherry was talking to Rebekah. Moma wants her some MONEY. Sherry told her she didn't have any because she had so many bills to pay. She began listing all her expenses. Moma just left the room and sat on the living room couch. When Sherry left, Rebekah heard her say under her breath, "You never come to see me and you're taking all my money. You can kiss my ass!" What a hoot! So, when I got home from the store, she came practically running into the kitchen. "Julie!" she began, "Will you take care of me?" I was puzzled not knowing yet about the above situation. I said, "Moma, I have been taking care of you for nearly 2 years now." She told me how much she appreciated me and that if she had anything I needed or wanted, I could have it. Then she said, "When I die, everything I have is yours". Smiling, I said, "mine and Sherry's". She said, "Well, the one that does all the work should have it all!" (I have Rebekah as a witness! lol) The rest of the night has been spent to thanking me and paying me for all I do. She just brought me $2 for the Vaseline I bought her at the grocery store. I should ride this for all it's worth!!