Monday, September 28, 2009

Buckle up, this is going to be a bumpy ride!

Know what a real southern belle HISSY FIT is?? Well I pitched me one tonight! You don't have hissy fits YOU PITCH THEM!!! I think I threw out my back and I strained my wrist. I did myself in, and I am the worse for it. So, what caused it? Why did I pitch me one?? The little precious princess, that is why.......
Let me back up....
This afternoon when I came home, the princess was sitting up in the den watching TV. Sue said she had been fine all day. I told her that she had NOT closed her eyes the day before, so she had better be good for me tonight. After Sue left, I told her that after supper we were going to get her bath. She balked, but I held fast. She went into the living room to look out the window. In a little bit, she came into the kitchen. "I don't want to get a bath tonight". "Too bad" was all I responded with. She went back into the living room. Kerry came home. He was going to play cards, so I ran to get Moma and me a sandwich. He called me and said, "She just said that she hopes you don't get her ham, she can't eat ham any more". So when I returned, I fixed her the left over Arby's roast beef. While we ate, she asked about 25 times where Kerry was going. Then she said, "What are you eating?" I told her, and her response was "I wish you'd gotten me ham". AUGHHHH!!!! As we finished up eating, she started her act. "Please don't make me take a bath tonight. I feel so bad". "Hey..can I wait and get one in the morning?" "I wish y'all would consider my feelings" I stood my ground, until she said, "You just want everything your way". I lost it! I turned off the TV, threw the remote control to the bar, and screamed "FINE! JUST STINK!!! I don't give a shit what you do!" and I stormed out of the kitchen. I heard her mutter, "Well if you are going to act like that, I'll take my bath". I was fuming! She came into the den and said, "I'll get my bath, come on". ONLY because she stinks and needed one so badly did I go draw her water.
(NOTE: I am having to write this in shifts, as my blood pressure gets up just remembering her antics tonight)
Watching her take a bath reminds me of a busy little 4 year old. She washes EVERYTHING at least 7 times. She wipes her nasty bottom and then returns the wash cloth to her face and starts over. GAG! But I figure as much as she soaps everything, it works out okay. Just like I have reported before, she doesn't want to get in and then she doesn't want to get out. She got out and was drying off, and I said, "Now aren't you glad that is over?" She mumbled something. She powered and patted herself with a powder puff for 20 minutes. I just let her. When she came out, she went to her room. I thought that MAYBE she'd be tired and go to sleep. I heard her TV so I thought it might be safe to take my bath. My first mistake was going in her room to tell her that I was going to take a bath for her to stay in her room (this actually works sometimes). I no sooner started the shower, when I heard the thump of her cane coming through the house. I grabbed a towel and came out WET to find her crazy self in the refrigerator. I screeched, "What are you doing???" She stumbled out some words, not making any sense. Then she started toward me.."I wanted to ask you..." I started screaming, "I asked you to stay in your room!!!!!!!! GET TO YOUR ROOM!! I WILL TALK TO YOU WHEN I GET OUT OF THE SHOWER!" She looked really disgusted at me and said, "Well, you made me forget what I wanted to ask you". I just walked back in the bathroom and started screaming! I mean, like a 12 year old! SCREAMING!!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! I slammed the shower door (sorry Kerry) so hard it should have broken, but the grace of God kept it intact. I wanted to strangle her!!! I did some serious talking to God in the shower, but He knows my heart. I reminded Him of the night I stood outside and looked up at the stars and said, "Lord, I cannot do this. This is not one of my things, but if you'll give me what I need, I'll take her into my home until she dies". I asked for more of the same.
When I got out and settled, I could hear her coming down the hall. "Julie...I remembered what it was I was going to ask you. Did I take all my medicines?" After my hissy fit, I got up and got her some "night night" meds, so tempted to OD her (not really, but entertained the thought). She said, "Don't be mad at me" I argued the point again that she cannot do what I ask her to do, and she is driving me crazy. She then promised to go to bed and leave me alone. (HA!) In about 10 minutes, I heard her again. "Julie" "Julie!" I turned to look at her, afraid to speak for fear fire would roll off my tongue. "Where is Sherry? She was supposed to come bring me my medicine before I go to bed. Have you got any?" and on and on with her nonsense. "You just had your medicine, I just gave it to you". She looked strange. "Does Sherry know?" Augh!!!! She isn't finished. I expect her back in here at least 4 more times. I am seriously losing it. My hissy fit caused me to throw out my back and hurt my wrist. And now I have a headache with the promise of a small stroke. Tomorrow I can laugh about this, tonight, I am ready to cry!

Saturday, September 26, 2009


Moma has irritated me beyond belief today. I'll admit that more than anything, it's me, not her. This rainy, dark, dreary weather along with allergy crap has me ill and less than pleasant. Last night I was convinced that I was getting the flu, since I was exposed yesterday. After taking medication today, I am better (snot-wise anyway).
Okay back to the princess. This has been one of those days when she can't remember what day it is, even though it is posted on the bulletin board in the kitchen. She also cannot grasp what time of day it is, morning or evening. She's fed animals all day. She's rambled a good bit. She has been EXTREMELY deaf today. She has been up under me, in the way all day. She simply cannot understand that standing to look out my kitchen window while I am fixing a meal is so very IN MY WAY! Her grunting has been excessive today as well. All in all, it has been a typical day for her. Like I said, it has been more me than her. This is how she is every day.
Where is the "Sunshine....on my shoulders...." I miss it.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Trying to Remember

Today, I am trying to remember the last time Kerry and I could pick up and go somewhere together. When was I able to grab my keys and take off without making arrangements for anyone? I wanted to sit out on my patio today and work on an article, since she had "turned in" after supper. I had no sooner got settled when the door opened and there she stood in the doorway of the entrance with NO handrail. She needed something on her hand. Ugh.....I just gathered up my laptop and came back in the house. I know this too shall pass, but I miss my freedom.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Brand New Again, but worse than ever!

Wow!! I know I have joked in the past about Moma being "brand new" but today is the worst she has ever been. It isn't as bad as when she doesn't know me, but a consistent "brand new" that isn't going away.
When I got home today she was in her bedroom. Sue said she had been cranky and complaining all day (which is getting more and more to be the norm). She got up after about 30 minutes. She thought it was 4:45 in the morning. When I told her that it was afternoon, she said, "Have I slept all day?" I reassured her that she had not. Then she asked if we were going to eat supper or breakfast. I finally got her to go back and lie down (sometimes she "resets" when she does that), while I fixed our supper. She asked if she had taken her medicine about 8 times. She asked if I had any children. She looks at stuff in my house like she has never seen it before.
When I woke her to eat, she again asked if we were eating breakfast or supper. She ate really good, but never said one word. She followed me around like she didn't know where to go or what to do. She finally sat down and asked, "Is it time for me to go to bed?" It is pitiful. She isn't hurting or doesn't seem to feel bad. She is just lost. Pain would be better than this. At least, there would be a reason.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

But Next.....

Today, I was vacuuming and polishing this beautiful oak buffet my husband's great great grandmother beamed to us by way of the death of an aunt. It turned out gorgeous! I began vacuuming the floor around the buffet where a chest had been previously. Moma, who has been underfoot ALL weekend, started talking to me. Of course, I had to turn off the vacuum. "Yes m'am?" She said, "Hon, that looks real good and I'm glad you got that, but next you need to clean off that table". UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How did I ever get by without her infinite wisdom and help???
She has literally been up under me all weekend. She has run her hands over everything in this house at least twice. We have had a discussion about everything hanging on my walls and in my house. My favorite question this weekend..."Do y'all sleep down here? (referring to the den)" After I told her that we slept in our bedroom. She then said, "Well where is it?" Precious.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Spoiled plans

So much for planning out my Saturday. I was going to clean house, wash clothes, and then go see my friend's new baby. Daughter came home from school, husband home from golf course because of the rain, grandmother lost as a goose.
Okay, it has rained like 12 days in a row. I am about to lose it!!! At this point, I don't even use an umbrella. Why? My hair looks like crap anyway. Everyone is ILL over the rain. Ugh...can't do anything about it so....okay back to Moma.
She has been lost all day. She walks around my house looking at everything like she has just arrived. She asks questions like, "Can I go up there and lay down?" Must be a miserable feeling to not really know or understand what is going on.
Auburn is kicking off....more later!! War Eagle! HEY!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009


I had to go to a conference today in Birmingham. When I got home, Moma had been talking smart to Sue again. So I told Kerry on her.
During supper, Kerry told her she could not have more chocolate milk (while I got up to fix it anyway) because she had been ugly to the sitter again. She gave him the same argument she gave me previously that "she talks smart to me" and "she started it". He said, "Well, you cannot run this sitter off because we don't have anyone else to stay with you, and you will have to go into a nursing home". OH ME! She went into a spasm. Remember that when I threaten this, she blows me off. She begged him to stop threatening her with that. She said that before she'd go into the nursing home, she'd ask God to take her home (like its HER plan, time, way, will, hour, etc.). He was not being ugly to her, and reassured her that we were not mad at her, but we wanted her to be very careful not to make Sue mad or hurt her feelings. She said, "I didn't know she was running and telling on me every time I say something to her!" Kerry finished his "lecture" with her, and went out on the deck to receive a cell call.
In just a minute, he came in and said, "Get Moma and come here!" I took her out on the deck and Kerry carried her out to the edge and showed her a double rainbow. It arched way over into the next street and had another rainbow on top about half that size. When he pointed it out, she immediately clasped her hands together and started grinning from ear to ear. "OH ITS A RAINBOW!" she said, obviously tickled to death to see it! As we stood there, I was fighting the lump in my throat, watching her delight in this glorious sight, she called my name. "Julie....what is it they say.....I mean....what does a rainbow mean? I can't remember". My heart sank. She has forgotten something she has reminded me of all my life. When I told her, she said, "Oh yeah...I forgot". How sad that this little ambassador for our Lord has forgotten one of his promises. I am praying that God does not tarry.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009


This afternoon when I got home, Moma was asleep. Sue reported that she had been a little nasty at lunch over (what else?) feeding the dogs. Moma told her that she was the hateful-est damn thing she'd ever seen! But Sue said other than that Moma was good. When Moma got up, she came into the den where Kerry and I were watching the city council meeting on our local channel. He wanted me to hear something that happened. She wanted to talk. "Who....who is that wom-ern that stays with me?" "Sue" I answered. "Who?" "Sue!" "Jewel?" "yeah" I agreed. (This is what I do after the first repeat, I just agree) "She's hateful" I just ignored this as we were watching TV.
I got up to go into the kitchen to throw something together for supper because I had to attend a meeting. She followed me into the kitchen. "That wom-ern that comes here....what's her name?" "Moma, her name is Sue" "What?" "Sue" "Jewel?" "Yes" "Well she is hateful. She talks so ugly to me". I said, "Now Moma, she only talks hateful to you when you are ugly to her. You can be hateful too, you know." She said, "Well today she was ugly to me" I said, "Yeah, and she said you were ugly too". She said, "Well she started it". Kerry called out from the den. "Stop arguing with that four year old!" I live on the funny farm.....

Monday, September 14, 2009

Rainy Days and Mondays

Actually only rainy days get me down, Mondays are okay! lol I always loved to hear Karen Carpenter sing. And even though it is rainy today, I am feeling much better. I think getting back into my routine helps! I am in need of structure! Loosey goosey makes me crazy.
Moma has been fine today. She ate good supper, watched her show (Wheel of Fortune) in her room, went to bed early and so far has stayed there. She gets an A today. And since she has been a good girl, I'll share something from her past.
When I was a little girl, I thought my Moma was the funniest woman in the world. We would get in her big ole black dodge (or later in her "new" Plymouth) and go all over the town. When she'd see an old man, she referred to him as an "old codger", and this made me laugh so hard it hurt. She would mock her "whiny" friends and sing to the top of her voice (out of tune). She would stop at Biff Burger and get us a cheeseburger, fries, and a chocolate milk shake. I'd take the lid off my shake and dip my fries in. Yum!!! (I do this at Wendy's with a frosty! Yum again) A day on the town with my Moma always brought about adventure, usually something for me, and so much laughter my sides would hurt.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Welcome Home

Moma has told me 25 times if she's told me once "I sure did miss you". God love her. The report was that on Saturday she was mean to the sitter. She was threatened with a phone call to me. lol I feel like I left a 4 year old at home with the sitter. lol
I did NOT want to come home. I am so at peace at the beach. I do believe I could seriously live there with no regrets. I know if you lived there, you wouldn't go every day, but I would like to give it a run.......
September brings about that melancholy feeling I get every fall. I can feel the beginning of that dreaded feeling that comes in like clockwork. In September 1990, I had this feeling of impending doom that I could not explain. Then on October 22 of that same year, my daddy was killed in a car wreck. It has been nearly 20 years and it is fresh as it was the year after. Say a prayer for me when you pray. I don't like bringing anyone down, just covet your prayers.

Friday, September 11, 2009


I am at the beach for a much needed break. Everything is wonderful except the news I got today. Rebekah had a stinking wreck!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009


"What Moma?"
"Write me a check"
"For what Moma?"
"I want me some candy!"

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Short Post

She is brand new tonight! BRAND SPANKING NEW.....interpretation for those of you not hip to my slang....She has JUST arrived or woke up!! She asks initial type questions. For instance, tonight, she asked me if I was "over" all the washing here (at Payne House for the Mentally Challenged).
Her being brand new always entertains us.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Child under foot

I am remembering what it was like having small children under my feet. That is what this weekend has been like. While I fixed her breakfast, she stood between me and the microwave, between me and the coffee maker, stood right where the refrigerator opens so I would knock her down if she didn't move. I tried kindly suggesting that she go sit down. She wanted to look out the window in the HEART of my kitchen work area. Ugh!
Later, I sat down at the den table to work on a scrap book. Here she came. She had to pick up every picture (forget laying things out in order), asked 40 questions about each one, all the while grunting and/or coughing in my ear. Once she yawned and did that "old person" thing where they holler with the yawn right in my ear! I seriously wanted to open the french doors and shove her out! Not only did it startle me, but it hurt my ear.
I have caught her twice this weekend standing on my front porch leaning down to pick dead leaves off my plants that line my STEPS!! I could see her head first rolling down the steps. I only hope I am that agile when I am old (er)! She was reaching to the 3rd potted plant (down three steps) with her feet planted on my porch. I would have fallen myself if I tried to do that.
Too bad this long weekend has not been restful for me! But I have a little beach trip coming up, so I'll make up for it!!

Thursday, September 3, 2009

You got any cookies?

She's on an eating binge again. Tonight, Kerry brought home spaghetti plates from some senior fund raiser (thank you honey!!). Moma ate her spaghetti and her bread. Then she ate most of her piece of cake that came for dessert. After supper, I went to walk and when I came in, Kerry reported that she had gotten up to eat the rest of her cake, which she dropped in the floor, but picked it up and ate it anyway. Then she wanted some milk, and before she went to bed, asked him, "You got any cookies?" LORD!!! Just now, she got up for some more milk. She asked for Tylenol then. I asked her where she was hurting, and she said "no where, I want it to make me sleep". I gladly got out her Tylenol PM and dosed her up! I hear the princess snoring as I type. Yes!

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Kerry and the beauty shop

Our sitter is still under the weather, so today Mr. Payne stayed at home with the princess. Yes, he had Princess Duty today. As you know, if you are a faithful blog reader, Wednesday is beauty shop day. Kerry took the old girl to La Casa de Bonita to see Dinah and all her friends. He reported that as soon as he got her in the door, they began busying themselves fixing her coffee and gathering her some cookies. She told him that she wanted to come to the beauty shop EVERY Wednesday. He now knows why.
When he picked her up, he had the pleasure of taking her out to eat. I figured he'd bring her back home and fix her a sandwich, but the princess usually gets her way. He took her to Gail's cafe and got her a take-out plate. He said she really wasn't happy about it, but finally agreed to it. (She wanted to go inside!) I guess she figured if she argued, he'd take her home and she would have to eat a sandwich (She has learned he doesn't "play her stupid games" as he puts it).
I am so glad he got to experience the beauty shop. This is truly one place where she reigns on her throne the whole time she is there! Thank you Dinah (and all your crew) for loving on my Moma.