Sunday, August 31, 2008

You can count on it

You know those things in life that you can set your watch by? Those things that you can count on to happen every time? My grandmother has a few of those going on. Like, every time she gets up from a nap or a night's sleep, she is going to ask "What is today?" Just before any meal time, she'll start asking "What time is it?" and "You gone cook dinner?". The one that gets me the most though is when I make tea, I know that I know that I know that she is going to lift the lid, burn her finger and drop the lid down really fast. She does it every time! I guess that goes to show the old saying is true....You can't teach an old dog new tricks.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Need a cook?

"Can I help you cook supper?" came the soft voice at the doorway. I looked over my shoulder and saw Moma, hair everywhere, up from her nap. leaning on her cane. I said "No, thank you". She said (again from behind me), "Well honey, if I can help you do the smallest thing, I will. You tell me.....hear?" I nodded. She moved closer to me. "Don't you want me to do that?" I was stirring the green beans when I turned around and saw her with her finger crammed up her nostril to the 2nd knuckle. I said, "Not with you picking your nose, no ma'am, I do not want your help." She looked at her fingers at the same time I noticed that her fingernails had "something" underneath them. I gagged a little. I said, "Moma! You are picking your nose with fingernails that have doo doo under them!!!!!!!!!" She looked at me, and back down at her fingers. She said, "That ain't doo doo!" I said, "Well you ain't planted potatoes lately, so it ain't dirt." I made her go into the bathroom, get the nail brush and scrub, scrub, scrub. She was mouthing under her breath. She started to follow me back to the kitchen. I banished her to her room. I have to keep reminding myself....she's 4, she's 4, she's 4....................

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Trees Beware!

Have I ever blogged about the amount of paper products my grandmother consumes? She uses at least (and no I am not exaggerating) 8-10 napkins every meal! She will blow her nose on one, wipe her mouth on another, wad one into a little tight ball, fold and put another one in her pocket. She wipes at the table with one, she puts one in her lap. I won't discuss what she coughs up or spits into one. Oh, and don't forget what she swipes off her plate to sneak to my dogs. And how precious is it when she shakes the crumbs from one (into the floor) and folds and smooths it and places it back into the napkin basket?? How precious is that? I've never seen anything like it in my life. On to tissue (or Kleenex as we say in the south). She goes through a LARGE box of tissue about every 10 days (Vaseline too but that isn't paper). I'm afraid to know what goes on with all the tissue. Now she loves her a paper towel. She'll wrap one around her drink cup. She'll wet one and wipe her face and hands. She wants to use them for pot holders for some reason. But she uses nothing like she uses toilet paper. I buy a 12 roll pack of Scot at least 3 times a month. Yes, I have 3 bathrooms but the bathroom that I share with her houses at least 10 of the 12 rolls. She rolls and rolls and rolls and rolls it around her hand. Does she wipe off the seat when she has left a present there? Oh no....she leaves that for me. On to diapers....she is up to a bag per every 2-3 days. And sidebar...she now drops the wet ones down the laundry shoot. Precious. On her own, she wipes out a small forest every day. Plant a tree in Moma's honor. God save the trees.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

We'll order some flowers

I love nights like tonight when Moma has a "sitcom" moment. Tonight, she was obviously in Sunday School. They were trying to do something for Dorthy Payton's funeral. (Sidebar: Dorthy Payton was one of Moma's friends when I was very young. I had a thing for rocks and pebbles thanks to Cousin Cliff and his rubbing rocks, and Dorthy loved them too. She always gave me one. Enough!) She was calling the class to order. She took up money, and asked someone to please please help them order flowers for Dorthy. Then they wanted to go to the funeral but they didn't have a way, so she was trying to convince someone to take them. Then, she told someone to "GET OUT!!!" Maybe they were in the car, because she then said, "Get out so I can get out".
You know, the funny thing to me is this. She mentions tons of people from her past-sisters, her mamma, friends, her children...but she never mentions my Papa. I don't get it.
She has been very lost lately. Very confused. Today she kept telling me "Something is wrong with me", but she is just more lost every day. I am not sure how long God plans to leave her here in this little worn out body, but I pray that she will stay healthy as long as she is on this earth.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Nothing New

Nothing new to report. Not even anything funny.....just doing what she does.....getting on my nerves, but nothing eventful.
My baby has moved out. Hubby is out of town. Quiet at my house right now. I am enjoying it, watching the Olympic Games! Go Shawn Johnson!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

I'm sorry

Today when I came in from school, Moma was lying down. About an hour later, I heard her coming (the cane isn't clicking as loud as it used to). She went straight to Rebekah. I heard her say, "Forgive me....(Rebekah is looking crazy) Forgive me if I've done anything to make you mad" Rebekah said, "Okay..." Then she made her way to me....same tale. I said, "Moma, you haven't made me mad (today anyway). Even if I was mad at you, I'd get over it". She said, "I don't want to die with that in my heart". (Okay, you know I couldn't resist) I said, "Moma....are you dying?" She said, "I don't feel like it" in that same voice she says "Whaaaat?" in. I said, "Well, ok, I was just checking." Then she proceeded to tell me that she ain't crazy, and that Sherry has her bank book, and that everything she had was made out to us. And then she said, "But right now, I'm hungry, and I want you to get me something to eat".
That's about right.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008


Well today my name is Thelmer (Thelma). She has been so lost. She has asked if she could stay up here with me (Uh..you have been since November). She asked if I'd look after her (Again...). Then she offered me money. God love her. She has NO money to be offering.
After I worked in the yard this afternoon, I had to jump into a bath quickly because of the poison oak, cow itch, and various other itchy things. Moma pounded on the door, hollering "Thelllllmaer!" Kerry said, "Please leave her alone and let her take a bath". She said, "Well, who all is in there taking a bath?" I said, "Just me, Thelma".
In case you are wondering...school has started and everything is GREAT on the East side. Remember....there's no side like the EAST side.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008


Never in a million years did I think I would tell my moma to hush, but I have told her that several times lately. She starts feeding the dogs at the table. We tell her to stop, and she starts, "I hope God punishes y'all!" "I'd be ashamed if I was you!" and to the dogs, she says, "I'd run away from home if I was y'all" "I wouldn't stay around here if I was y'all". I get to the point where all I can say to her is HUSH! Then tonight, she started mocking me.....AND LAUGHED IN MY FACE!!!!!!!!!! She told me that we tickle her being so silly. Augh!!!!!!!!!!! I wanted to knock her backwards out of that chair. Remember that movie Monster In Law when both Jennifer Lopez (was it Jennifer Lopez? it was wasn't it?) and Jane Fonda have visions of doing something really awful to the other one? I have those visions a lot now, mostly of pushing her down. The only way I can live with myself is telling myself that it is just a way to vent my frustrations and that I would never take that kind of action. And I wouldn't....
I am asking you my readers to do me a favor. Pray for something that is near and dear to my heart. You don't have to know the details because God does. Pray that God will give me wisdom to handle this. Pray for restoration and renewal.
Thanks! Love you guys!

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Who am I waitin' on?

Today Moma came into the study and looked at me so seriously, and said, "Who....who am I waitin' on?" I said, "HUH?" She said, "I feel like I'm waitin' on something". I said, "Oh, I bet you are waiting on my to give you a bath". She screwed her face up and said, "Well, you can forget that! I am taking no bath, I don't need one". I said, "Oh yes you do, and you will take one today!". After several minutes of no-I-ain't-yes-you-are, she walked out mumbling, "I ain't taking no bath". She went out to the deck and got in the swing. Later, she came in and looked so humble and said, "Who's supposed to help me take a bath?". She hates the prep, but loves the procedure! She wants her back washed "fifty-leven" times (as my mother would say).

Later she came into the den and asked me if everybody was ready. I did not have the energy to even discuss it so I just told her that everyone was ready! She has just been so lost and crazy today. Mostly Millicent, not quite Miley, but I guess really she has been Milledge. If you understand the levels, you know what I mean.

Okay, back to ME! (lol) Yesterday, I graduated from the University of Alabama with an Educational Specialist degree in Instructional Leadership! I am tickled, but I mention it to say that I dedicated this degree to the memory of my Dad! He was always so supportive concerning my education. Thank you Daddy............. (but I am sorry it wasn't Auburn!).

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Has everybody settled down?

Short post tonight. I am tired.

Coming up the stairs from the laundry room, I heard Moma calling me..."Haaaney...." Don't ask, she calls us that from time to time. I went into her room and she said, "Has everybody settled down out there?" I said, "Settled down from what?" She said, "All that moving around".
Not a clue what she meant, I just said, "Yes m'am".

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Back to work...

Started back to work today. Will try to be faithful to blog, but I must admit that for my graduation, Kerry bought me a Wii. I have boxed and bowled until the muscles in my neck are strained. I got a little carried away. Kerry laughed at me until he attempted golf. I can't wait to buy another controller so I can box HIM. hehehehehe..............

Yesterday, Moma got up around 12ish and came into the kitchen where Caden was eating lunch, and said, "Well....y'all didn't go to Sunday School?" I said, "No m'am, not on Tuesday." (sigh) Then she proceeded to eat chicken fingers off Caden's plate.

Rebekah and I have been keeping Caden, my friend's little boy. It has nearly driven Moma crazy. She would ask: Who's little boy is that? Where is his momma? Did she bring him to you? Who's coming to get him? Are you taking him home? Ain't he got no momma? and on and on and on.

Today, Sherry took Moma to the beauty shop and then to her house to spend the afternoon. She came home about 4ish and said, " I ain't never goin' no where with her. She is so hateful!" lol No telling what she did to bring that on!

She ate a good supper tonight (and has been lately), but says she hurts all over. I don't know what is going on. And for some reason, she can't seem to keep her teeth in. I don't look forward to the "end" progressing.

Longest Yard Sale starts tomorrow. Thank goodness I can go to work via the interstate tomorrow, but Friday, I'll be saying bad words....................

Sunday, August 3, 2008


No comments?? Just a notation to my 4 loyal readers........Comments help keep me going! lol It is so sad to open my blog and never have any comments!!!

I must say that Kerry and I will probably be grounded for a long time. We had the nerve to go see the Tyn Tymes last night and not come home until 11:00 pm. Sue came up and stayed with Moma while we went out for a bit. I called about 10:00 to check on them, and Sue said, "She won't lie down until you come home". When we got home, Sue (moment of silence for a wonderful sitter) was begging her to go to bed. She was arguing with her. Then I appeared in the room, and she let me have it with both barrels. According to her rendition, we never told her where we were going, and we sure didn't let her know it would be midnight before we came in. AND we had given her the scare of her life. Whatever....Sue said she had not be afraid, she was MAD! lol But cruel as it may sound, it serves her right for being as mean and ornery as she has been the past few days. If I was ever going to put her in a home, it would have been yesterday! She nearly drove me crazy! Eating every 15 minutes, fussing at me about cleaning up that mess (I took the computer desk apart), and then got started about how bad the weather was and I shouldn't go any where. I realize that doesn't sound that bad, but trust me, she has been BAD! And busy??? Oh man, she was into everything I took out of that desk. "What is this? Y'want me to throw it away? What you gone do with it? My my, what a mess". Then she got into my software. And by the way, CDs are little records, in case you didn't know. "Where you gone play these little records? What you got so many for? Who's gone clean up this mess?" If I was a drinking woman..........
Counting down the days.....School starts Wednesday. Yes, I hate inservice (Wed.-Fri.), but I am excited about Monday when the kids come back. After 25 years, that is still my favorite day of the entire year! Is that sick?

Friday, August 1, 2008

Peanut Butter Cookies in the rain...

Sorry about the delay in posting. Life has been crazy trying to finish up with my Ed.S. degree and several major dramas with my children (don't ask, it ain't pretty). But, I just turned in my final project in one class, took my final in another this past Wed. and will attend my last class in the morning to present my final project there! Whew! It has been quite a ride, but I'd do it again in a heartbeat! I am just an eternal student....I love school, what can I say? My family is so happy I am finished, and they all are chanting, "NO MORE SCHOOL, NO MORE SCHOOL!". I am considering my Ed.D. but not sure if it is worth a divorce. lol Actually, I don't know how I would have done it without the support of my husband and kids. YOU PEOPLE ARE WONDERFUL AND I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok, on to Moma.....
Yesterday Rebekah and I went shopping in one of our favorite places in the world (Sand Mountain) where we always stop at the Albertville Home Bakery for a treat mid shopping trip. So we decided to take cookies home to the family. We bought Moma peanut butter cookies in a separate bag, and rocky road for Kerry in the bag with our treats. As always, upon returning home with bags or packages, she greets us, not to help, but to ramble through the bags we bring in. She asks a million questions and makes comments, some not so nice. I gave her bag of cookies to her and said, "We brought you some cookies! Go sit down and eat them" hoping she'd leave us alone while we unpacked our treasures. UNHEARD OF! She thanked me and continued to ramble through everything on the table. She crammed the cookies in her pocket. I put Kerry's cookies way back on the counter hiding them out of sight (I thought). But, as luck would have it, she had her sugar radar turned on, and she spotted it. She nearly knocked me down getting around the table..."What is this?" She reached for the bag. I snatched it (like a child) and said, "No these are Kerry's! You have cookies!" She looked at me like she could run right through me and said, "Y'all beat anything I ever saw! There ain't no law agin lookin'!" I am telling the truth...childish as it may be. I cannot stand the rambling and trying to be the boss!!! I AM THE BOSS HERE!!!(I have to keep reminding myself). The rest of the day, she was typically crazy. Asked the same question 10 times, used the wrong names for people, complained about supper not being ready soon enough to suit her. But there is another first. I went in to give her night night medicines to her....and there she lay in all her glory....with her head tied up with her rain bonnet! Precious! I could not look at her when I gave her the medicine. Rebekah made pictures. I will post as soon as she sends them my way. Never a dull moment.......