Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Fried Eggs

Yesterday morning (I know I am behind posting)I got up feeling charitable toward Moma. She has asked for eggs for breakfast several days, so I started preparing to fix eggs, toast, and cantaloupe for her when I heard her door open. She came in quietly and sat down. I put her cup of water (for her meds) in front of her, when she mumbled "I don't want no water, I want COFFEE". This was my first clue that her mood was not so sweet. I poured her coffee, and continued getting out eggs and butter. She looked up and said,"Oh good, you're gonna fry me an egg". I told her that I didn't really know how to fry an egg, but I was going to scramble her one. She snarled that lip and said, " I don't want scrambled eggs". I said, "Moma, do you want to wait until Sue gets here? She can fry you one". (The last time I attempted to fry one, it was not pretty) She snapped, "That is ridiculous! (mumble mumble)" I said, "Listen, you can wait for Sue, eat scrambled eggs or do without!" She, again, said "THAT IS RIDICULOUS!" Something inside me went off like fireworks. I slammed that little iron skillet on the stove, spun her chair around and said, "Get your ass up and fix it yourself!" I don't know what happened, I had just had it with her (and so early)! She tottered over to the stove and set to work. It was not pretty, she got it stuck and begin complaining that my skillet wasn't worth a %#@*" Anyway, she ate every bite. I think she was afraid not to!
Sometimes, you just gotta snap!

Sunday, June 28, 2009

This was posted on my wall this afternoon when I returned from Wal-Mart. Obviously, my children had answered all the questions they intended to. I totally feel their pain.

On a funnier note:
This afternoon late, Moma and I were sitting at the table waiting on Kerry to come home. She had asked a million questions and repeated the ones concerning supper every opportunity she had. So I was about to get up to fix us something rather than waiting on Kerry to bring us something when she took my arm and said, "I don't mean to be ugly..." (Uh oh, I thought) "You have gained a LOT of weight here lately haven't you?" She emphasized A LOT. Nice. So sweet. I smiled sweetly and said, "Thank you". So, I guess I'll be devising a weight loss plan that I can live with soon. Any ideas?

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Today's quote

Oh I wish I could post what she said today!!!!!!!!!! It was really only crude but would have gotten my mouth washed out with soap. Trust me, it will be in the book version of this journey!

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Contemplating a nervous breakdown....

Tonight my blog planning was going in one direction (not in a good way), but I just heard Trace Atkins sing a song "You're gonna miss this", so I have a new perspective. Looking back, I do miss my little tiny house on Comnock Avenue where we only had 2 bedrooms, one bathroom (TINY), but life was good and simple. We had a garden and a baby and so much LIFE, but I was looking to a bigger house, another child, etc. Yes, I do miss that. So, I know that when the angels do come, I will miss the clicking of her cane, her irritating grunting, her cries for help, her constant complaining, and yes, all the laughs we have had since she came to live with us. So get ready to laugh...she's been AWFUL this weekend.
Friday night, the kids went off and Kerry had to work, so I invited Mytesa up for "movie night". Could I enjoy an old Annette and Frankie beach movie with my friend? NO! She wanted a drink, and a cookie. She wanted something for itching. She was cold. And on and on....I finally made her mad so she'd go to bed. But Saturday morning....she was up bright and early at 7:30. Now, again, if you know me.....7:30 on Saturday morning?? AND you want to talk?????????????? ugh.....I walked to the pantry to get her oatmeal and she "thought" out loud...Ole oatmeal with a face to match her thoughts. "What do you want?" I screeched. "That is fine" she said. Liar. Her coffee was too hot. "Hon, get me a saucer" (Okay, to whomever started this stupid ritual, it is stupid and I hate it, but today, I don't argue with stupid). I gave her a bowl. "I don't have any saucers". She said, "this is what I use" Okay, another ignorant response. Now, I am not going blow by blow, but just note that this day she was NEEDY and WHINY. She felt so bad....she wanted this, she wanted that....I mean, you'd have thought I worked for her!! Then, after one of her naps, she started EEEEEEEEEtching. She yelped and hollared, and whined. She started toward me with that infernal back scratcher. I ran! I dodged her as long as I could. She caught me diving into the bathroom. So, I came out with the revenge! SOLARCAINE! I sprayed and she screamed! But 15 minutes later, she was back...."scratch my back". I then went for the aloe vera stuff that you use for sunburn because it has Lidocaine in it too. But....she still eeeeeetched! I was just plain mean. There! I admit it. I told her NO I was not scratching her back. I hate that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Again, I am not going blow by blow except for the good stuff, so remember she was BAD all weekend! She's on an eating kick again, and you already know how greedy she is. She wanted "one of them little chocolate drinks in the bottle" (Ensure). She had JUST eaten, but she is so freaking greedy. I got her one, but made her sit at the table. She said, "I'm going in there" pointing to the den. "No" I told her, "you are not, you spill". Made her so mad. So, being the horse's patoot that she is, she got up to go out on the deck. SMACK!!! She dropped the whole bottle and Ensure went everywhere! She is so busy....
Sunday morning she slept until 12:30. Had oatmeal basically for lunch. She was "lost" when she got up. She left the table to go to the bathroom. I followed to check on her because she was rambling through Kerry's cabinets. "Am I at your house?" she asked. I never could make her understand that she lives with me. She was up and down, down and up....busy busy busy....greedy with food and drink. She wanted something else as soon as she finished a snack or meal. But the tip of the iceberg was when we went to Dairy Queen to celebrate Father's Day with Kerry's dad, mom, and brother's family. We got there first, and got her seated in a corner seat. Kerry went to order our food, and came back with our drinks. Moma took one sip, and said, "What kind of mess is this?" I said, "coke". She said, "Well I don't like it". I reminded her that she told me at lunch that she was sick of always drinking tea. She continued to complain and was getting loud. Kerry was going to go pour it out and get her tea, and she got really loud and said, "NO!" but he went anyway. Then, she complained about the chicken and fries being "too much" but it was a kid's meal. She emptied her tea twice, Kerry had to get up and get her more. At the end of the meal, I got up to get her FREE treat. Rebekah got a dilly bar, but I got her a kid's cone, thinking this would be best. SHE HAD A FIT!!!!!!!! She talked so ugly to me. I finally told her to "shut up". Kerry got on to me, and she screamed out, "LET HER RAGE!" At this point, I wanted to hurt her. I was not nice. Kerry got on to me, and talked ugly to me over something else. I wanted to cry. Here we sit, the winners of the Dysfunctional Family of the Year and next to us is Kerry's brother's family. Kevin, a Honda employee, doing WELL! His gorgeous wife, dressed nice, happy. His son, a CARBON copy of him, University of Alabama student, doing well, and his step daughter, married and doing well (a carbon copy of her mother). They just got back from the beach and are going on a mission trip to Indiana in a few weeks (the family). The perfect little Christian family! THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY LIFE!!!!!!
Wonder what the rate at Gadsden Health Care is? I may check in!

Sunday, June 14, 2009

The Story

Okay, I've reeled you in with the birthday pictures, now for the story. Moma had a "big" time all day with her birthday. My sister came by with a gift for her, her great grandchildren (the others, not mine) called her to wish her a happy birthday. She got her hair all rolled up for the dinner out. She was pretty well behaved (as most children are on their birthdays). When I was fixing her hair, she kept screaming, "STOP pulling my hair!" and she'd reach up and grab my hand. But fixing her hair is a major undertaking worthy of its own post. All I can say now is GOD BLESS YOU DINAH FOR DOING HER HAIR ALL THESE YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When she was finally ready to go, Kerry started out the door with her. She kept bossing him about what to do, "close my door, get my purse, etc." He had her cane and for some reason that didn't set well with her. (Remember the post on autism? She has to do it the same way every time, and I make her take her own cane) Anyway, we got her in the car, and off we go. She started messing with everything up front (Rebekah and I are in the back seat). She asked Kerry what kind of keys those were? (his work keys) He said, "keys to my airplane". She just looked at him dumbfounded. He told her that when she turned 100, he'd take her up in it. She said, "Why? cause you think my life is over anyway?" LOL At 96, she still has that wit!!
I guess the funniest thing other than telling my nephew that her birthday was "just another day to her" (yeah right, try forgetting it) was when Kelli, Todd, Abigail and little Jeffrey came in to the restaurant. She leaned over to Kerry and said, "What are they doing with that black baby?" He said, "They are keeping it for a friend". She said, "Well people are going to think that baby is theirs!" Kerry said, "I wouldn't care" She said, very agitated, "Well I WOULD!!" She was so outdone that Kelli brought that baby to her birthday supper. She kept looking at him all through dinner. Notice her expression on the pictures. She even mentioned it this morning when she got up for breakfast (at 6:37, ugh).
And this morning, she looked at her birthday cake (or what is left of it) and said, "Well..whose is this?" LOL

Saturday, June 13, 2009

More Birthday Pictures!

Then home to eat birthday cake and ice cream! and to open presents!!!
New House Shoes! A case of Ensure and CANDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy 96th Birthday Moma!!!

We took Moma to Uncle Sam's for her favorite meal for her birthday!!!!

Friday, June 12, 2009

Hint Hint

I can remember my mother talking about how my grandmother would drop hints before her birthday, Mother's Day and Christmas about what she wanted. Well, she is still at it! I have gotten so tickled this week at her. She tries to bring her birthday up in every situation she possibly can. For instance:
"What day is this? I mean day of the month? Oh, really? I think I have a birthday coming up? Do I? How old will I be?"
"Julie, how old am I? Well, don't I have a birthday coming up? How old will I be? WHAT???"
"Is this June? Don't I have a birthday in June?"
"I feel so bad today. I don't know why. I guess it is because I am just old. How old am I? When is my birthday?"
and on and on......
She has always LOVED her birthday!
I'll report on all the festivities tomorrow evening. We are taking her out to eat and back home for cake and ice cream!!
Untl then..................

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Big Day

Moma has a big day coming up! Saturday is her 96th birthday!!! Details of the big celebration to follow!

Monday, June 8, 2009

Otis Campbell?

If you read my blog regularly, you know that my grandmother is a DRAMA QUEEN! Well, as of about 30 minutes ago, she is drunk as Otis Campbell. Let me explain....
This afternoon, she came into the kitchen with the dreaded back scratcher in her hand. "Scratch my back" she screeched at me. I grabbed the can of spray, pulled up her gown and housecoat and sprayed her down! She screamed and carried on, but still begged me to "rub it". I used the back scratcher to scratch her back. No matter how much I scratched, she carried on. "God help me!! Help me Lord!!! OOOOOOOOOOOO it eeetches!!! God help!" She was working herself into a major frenzy. Ugh! I hate this. I begin to think, what can I do? I looked to the medicine cabinet for some Benedryl, but then I pondered....if the Tylenol PM is no longer working (see earlier posts) she could be immune to the Benedryl in it. Hmmm.....I grabbed the locked box. I know Dr. Robinson gave her something for her nerves. Where is it?? Oh here is something....what is this? Lo...Lo...that is supposed to trigger something. Oh yes, this makes her LOCO. Tossed that back in. Wait! Here it is!!!! Yes! This little orange capsule he gave her when her nerves were so bad at night. "Here, take this". She swallowed.
As typical, she began to whine about supper around 5:00. I fixed her some soup, mainly to shut her up, because I was not yet hungry, and with Kerry out of town, I can eat when and what I want. As she ate her soup, her eyes began to get heavy. Good, I think to myself. She is settling down. After she ate, she got up and went to bed. I took my drink and the phone and went out on the deck with my dogs. A loud GONG went off in my head! I was supposed to dump 1/2 of the medicine out of that little orange capsule!!!!!!!!! The prescription calls for 1/2 of that dose. Oh me. I get up and get the baby monitor. Whew! She is breathing. I sit back letting her sleep it off. As it got dark, I got up to come inside. I heard her stirring. The phone rang and as I was admitting my sin to Kelli, she came through her door. "HEY" she scowled at me! "I want something to eat" she growled. I said, "you already had supper". She said, "I ain't done it!" I took her to the kitchen, and fixed her a milkshake. She wanted more. She kept asking inappropriate questions, like "Hey, what time is it? Is this morning? Is it time for bed?" She dropped and slopped ice cream all over the place like Otis. "HEY! Can I go to bed? Where do you want me to sleep? HEY! You got a bed for me?" I helped her back to bed. Even though I caused this, I am still immature and could not help but laugh. She was so funny. When I got her into her room and laid her down, she said, "HEY (she prefaces everything with that)don't leave me here by myself. And keep me covered up" lol She has called me back in her room 3 times to tell me those same 2 things! "HEY! Don't leave me! And keep me covered up!" Oh well....she seriously needs the rest.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Questions Questions

Today has been Question Sunday! She has asked the same 4 questions all day.
1. What day is this?
2. Where is Kerry?
3. What are we gonna eat for ______(dinner, supper, etc)?
4. Do I have any money?

I gave her Tylenol PM at 6:15 pm. After yesterday, her not sleeping at all, and last night her walking the floors until Kerry got up and threatened to whip her, I am totally UNDONE. My nerves are shot and I am ill as a hornet because my knee is stiff and swollen and I cannot do what I want to do. She is making me crazy asking the same questions over and over. And my crazy kids are screaming at each other like they are 12!!!!!!!!!!! Forget her....I may take the Tylenol PM in just a few minutes. lol
(sigh) This too shall pass.............

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Compare the two!

Whether you have ever thought about this or not, severe old age is much like autism. There is that little world where they live, and you cannot visit. Things must be done their way, and ALWAYS the same. Yet, they are unpredictable. What has been perfectly fine for weeks now suddenly is all wrong. They are paranoid. Someone is taking their things. Someone is spending their money. They reason out things that never will make sense to you. They fixate on things (like kleenex) and they, to be brutally honest, irritate the hell out of you! Crude you say? Uncaring? Listen, this is not a pleasant world. My whole purpose in writing this journal was to give a true picture; give perspective; and say, "it is okay to not like the person you are caring for, at times". It has to be okay to make jokes and laugh, to be angry, to be tired, and to just plain feel like nobody cares,temporarily. If you didn't have these feelings you would not last. You'd cave. So..laugh...be a little cruel (behind their back, of course), and slam a door! It is for your health and sanity and for their safety.
Writer's note: I had knee surgery Wednesday of this past week. My brace is off, my bandages thrown away, but my knee is swelling and sore. No constant pain, but can't jump hurdles or run around this house like I could. I'm ill. I want to take a shower, but no one is here to keep an eye on the princess. I am definitely having "one of those times" mentioned above. However, I know that it is okay, and that this too shall pass.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Today we are 4

Moma has been a typical 4 year old. She laid in the recliner and kicked her feet and rolled her head from side to side while hollaring "HEY!! HEY!!!" until someone came to her aide. The drama queen in her came out during her nap. She called out her usual, "Help Me! Help Me! Heeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllllppppppppppppp mmmmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The "little nasty" appeared when Rebekah fixed her a bowl of watermelon and she picked out the seeds on the table, no napkin, no paper towel. She has been a handful lately!
For all you people who tell me on a daily basis how CUTE she is, I'll be packing her a bag to spend a weekend with you this summer. Have fun with that!