Lost her drawers

Today, as has been the norm for about 5 days, Moma was dying off and on all day. But about 12:30, I heard her walking through the house, and then sit down in a kitchen chair. I was in my room folding sheets. I heard this crazy laugh.....and "Hooooo Haaaaa" and so on. I walked toward the door, and she saw me and said, "Julie...come'ere" I walked in there and she started laughing again. I said, "What is it?" She said, "I've lost my drawers....and I can't find them!! (more laughter) I AIN'T GOT NONE ON!!!!!" And she began this psychotic laugh! I had to drag her to her room, telling her to put some on...."I ain't gone do it!" she said. I had to lie her back and put them on her and then make her sit up and pull them up. Not sure where that came from.

Trazadone?

I think I have this thing figured out. I looked up the Trazadone on the infamous Internet last night, and VOILA! Side effects include stomach pain. We have just recently begun giving it on a regular basis since she is no longer affected by Tylenol PM. AND....there is a drug interaction with Digoxin, which she takes. So.....I'm thinking, no more Trazadone. I clued my sister in and she is doing extensive research with her nurses at GRMC Home Health and Hospice.
I am getting better at being more observant on things like that, but I don't really want to be. I don't like medical stuff at all! You know sick people make me retreat to the hills. (Which is why I hate being sick, running from myself is work)

Day 4, chapter 16 of this continuing saga

Moma is up to about 4 dying spells a day now. But I think I have it figured out. She is either having major reflux problems, has another ulcer, or gall bladder troubles! So I am dosing her with Mylanta and Pepsid. Nothing exciting! More to come.

Irritated

Let's just say that I feel awful......and she is irritating. Enough said.

Matinee

At the present, Moma is performing a matinee of her latest dying act. I am sure there will be at least one more performance this evening (or early morning). She has "lost everything she ever had" and she "wants her money NOW". All this along with "Help me, Jesus.....help me" every other breath. A while ago, I heard her say (from the baby monitor) "You stay in here and watch my purse, and I'm going to find my sash". She came down to the kitchen where I was cleaning up from supper and she said, "Hey.....what's next?" Clever. Caught me off guard. I looked at her and said, "What do you mean?" She said, "Well, what are we supposed to do next?" My answer..."Go to bed".

Dying spell to end all dying spells....

No play by play details, I feel too bad. Got some sort of CRUD. Sore throat, LOTS of drainage, earache, and feel awful, but just know that if she has another dying spell like she did last night (or should I say this morning?), there won't be another one because I may stuff her pillow into her little toothless mouth and duct tape her body to the futon. It was truly an award winning performance.
Of course, today, she woke up like a spring chicken ....no aches, no pains, nothing. Ugh...

Rested

I am so rested. Spent the weekend with my long-time friend in Nashville. Believe it or not, this time last night (10:12 pm) we were just leaving the restaurant. I never eat supper that late, but we got a late start because I took a LONG nap! I normally nap (when I can, which is rare) with my earrings on so that I never really get comfortable, so I won't sleep long. But when I heard the first clap of thunder, I sat straight up in bed and took off my earrings, pulled up the covers and it was over. Four hours later.....we were scampering to get ready to go eat.
However, I came home to CRAZY! C-R-A-Z-Y....no joke. She is nutty as a fruitcake as my Daddy would say. When I came in she was eating a snack at the table. She began telling me how much she missed me and begging me not to ever go off again. It was sort of sweet. But then at supper, she asked what day Christmas day was on FOUR times. And it has gone downhill ever since. She has been "rearranging her room" and "cleaning up" as she put it. And tonight....I am "lady".

Stop the Madness

This evening, the Queen (Rebekah) called and deman.....errrr...requested that I bring her supper to her. She is having some separation anxiety since moving back, but would not admit it. So, anyway, I planned to feed the princess early, and fix the Queen's supper to be at TJ Maxx by 6:45. There was no one at home, so I knew I'd have to load up Momaw for a ride across town. Once in the car, it seemed like it was going to be a pleasant ride. She and I talked and she looked at everything we passed with interest. NO DRAMA.
Once at the Maxx, I parked next to Bek's car since her last text message had requested that I not bring in her food, but meet her at the car. She had planned to eat it in the car (but I didn't realize she meant MY car). That was not a problem, but I just didn't know it, and had gotten there 15 minutes early, so Momaw was already getting very antsy. When Rebekah finally came out, she got into the back seat, and began talking and eating her food. I watched as Momaw began working herself into a frenzy. She started complaining about being nauseated and feeling sick. Please note that Rebekah continued to talk about having no air in their apartment, the cat that got injured, blah blah blah....not that I was not interested, but there was so much more going on in the front seat. "Jeeeeeeeeesus......help  me! Help me!" She  twisted and turned, wrung her hands and threw back her head. She'd dose off and jump up and holler "HEY". Rebekah hasn't missed a beat, except to occasionally say, "I hate her". At this point, Moma was rolling her head from side to side, moaning and groaning. She looked at me with an urgency and said, "Lay yore hands on me and PRAY! PRAY!!!" I patted her hand, and continued listening to Rebekah while thinking 'how long can it take to eat a banana sandwich?' and checking my cell phone frantically because my nerves were shot, and someone was going to have to die. Moma was getting worse by the minute. I offered her a milkshake from Sonic. No, she didn't want that. She'd grab her head and holler "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" It was a performance like has never been seen! To keep from screaming, I put the car, which had been running this whole time because it is freaking HOT outside, in reverse and backed out of the parking space. I began going up and down the isles methodically. Finally, Moma looked at me and growled, "Well what are you going around in circles for?" I pulled up to the front of TJ Maxx, let Rebekah out, and pulled out of the parking lot. "Looks like you feel much better now." She had blown her cover. Regretfully she agreed. "Yeah, I'm startin' to".

Crazy

This morning Mildred is crazy as a "run over dog" (to quote Jay Dowdy). She got up stomping around while Kerry was in the shower. I got up to find her in the refrigerator with a pudding cup in her hand. As I rounded the corner, she looked up and said, "What's this?" UGHHHHHH!!!! She had already poured her some coffee and put milk in it. I decided to just let her eat that for her breakfast. I opened the pudding, popped a spoon in it, and slammed it on the table, yanked out a chair and screeched "SIT DOWN". (I hate her today). Now, you might ask....If she is capable of pouring coffee, putting milk in it and choosing pudding, what is the problem with her being in your refrigerator?" BECAUSE SHE IS CRAZY! She might do okay today, but tomorrow she may spill milk all over the floor, mop it up with my dish towel and hang it back up. To further justify my reasoning for not wanting her in my refrigerator or doing anything else on her own. Read on....

She went to bed after her pudding treat, but was up again, in less than 30 minutes. She wanted the rest of the coffee...then a banana....and then 2 pieces of candy.....I was ready to kill her! But I walked away to let her eat her treats on her own. I stepped back into the kitchen to check on her, and there she was taking off her diaper. "What are you doing?" She looked at me like I was crazy and said, "they're wet!" I wanted to flip her backwards out of that chair, but instead, I said, "Moma! We do that kind of thing in the bathroom". She stood up, held out her hands and said, "I'm sitting down!" Make sense out of that......It's going to be a very crazy day. I can tell. Ugh!

Typical Saturday

Just like most....this is a typical Saturday. But it is the first Saturday after waking up early and going to work all week. I wanted to sleep!!! She was up clomping around, but the best part is she came into my room and stood over my sleeping body. She clicks the cane over and over and over (for emphasis, I guess). She asked when I was getting up, I said I would in a few minutes, so she thought she'd just wait......standing over me and clicking that cane, offering the occasional random thought from her busy brain.

Friend Day

I have tried for 2 days to post a flyer that goes with this story, but it won't post as a .tif or a pdf file. So...if you are a blogger, help me!

 Monday as I came in, I stopped and grabbed the mail out of the mailbox. I came in and was going over the day with my sitter while I browsed through the mail. I saw Moma's church bulletin and just handed it to her. I paid no attention to it any more. She got up and went to her room. In a little bit, Rebekah and Seth came in. They were sitting at the table when Moma came out of her room. She entered the kitchen, went straight toward them waving the flyer. "We're having Friend Day at our church. We'd love to have you", she said to Seth. He took the flyer and looked it over. "Okay.....I'm pretty sure this was last week, but OK, we'll be there" and handed it back to her. She came into the den where I was, sat down in a chair, and soon dozed off. In a minute, I heard some mumbling, then..."Come to our church! Sunday.....Sunday......SUNDAY!!!" She rattled on in her sleep about Friend Day for about 20 minutes. I looked at the flyer. It was the week prior to us receiving the bulletin. Way to go COP COG!

Out with the old....In with the Wannabe

(This is the post I wish I were writing, for real)

Today Moma and I got up early to the beautiful blue skies and calm surf at the condo. I have to really get busy to get this thing ready for our snowbirds, coming in October.  They are a nice couple with a cute little French bulldog who adore our place and treat it like their own. How fortunate I was to find them, so I don't have to worry about the mortgage or renting it out in the summer when I want to be here. I am going to Target to get some new bathroom rugs, shower curtain, etc. I also need to replace the mixer and the blender, the colors do not go with my newly redone kitchen. 

Last night, we sat on our balcony until way after midnight. It was just so peaceful, with a cool (well...cool for August) ocean breeze blowing. Moma had me mixing up one daiquiri after another. I thought about doubling her liquor so she would go to sleep and hush. LOL (j/k) She ate a huge supper at Mikey's. We had jumbo shrimp, shrimp scampi, scallops, baked potato, and salad. I was stuffed! She had to be.

As soon as I get back from Target, I am planning to get in a little Vitamin D replacement therapy. She said she'd just sit with dogs and watch TV. Of course, she'll clean up the condo like a maniac, thinking I won't notice. The only thing that really needs doing is the sheets changed and washed. I'm sure Miss Busy Pants will have all that taken care of when I get back upstairs. Oh well....it makes her feel useful (and helps me out a great deal)! Sometimes, I don't know what I would do without her! 

Nesting

Moma is nesting today. She is moving things, rearranging pictures and stuff on the mantle. I watched her rearrange tomatoes in my kitchen window 5 times until they were just right. That kind of crap makes me crazy!

And the oscar goes to........

Moma's Academy Award winning performance last night will go down in history as one of the more memorable ones. She brought the whole house down. And at this moment, I am about ready to take her out...if you get my drift.
I do not go to sleep easily. I have to toss and turn for at least an hour before I nod off. Sleep deprivation is just one of my "agely" problems. I try to make the best of it, but around here, just getting up and watching TV causes too many problems, so I lie in the dark, and mentally make out lists. Christmas gifts, To Do lists, lists of jobs the kids can do to make money, lists of things I want Kerry Payne to do. He has no knowledge of these things. Due to the sleep deprivation, I forget to share them with him. I can't account for many things lately. I'm accused of just hanging out in Julieville, but I think the sleep thing is my real adversary. Now that I have set up my little drama.....
If you read last night's post, you know that the princess got her bath, and became the neediest of the royal family. When I finally attempted to turn off the light and go to sleep (ha), it was about 11:15. I was just getting lethargic when I heard the click click click of that infernal cane. I opened my eyes to see her turning off my ceiling fan. As she was exiting the room, Kerry sat up and hollered "Moma!" She kept walking. She has selective hearing, you know. I threw back the covers and got up. I reached out to grab her arm as she was opening the door to the kitchen. "OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW" She bellowed. I pushed her into the kitchen and flipped on the light! "DON'T PUSH ME!" she yelled. I led her to the clock...."It is midnight....you should be in bed.....what do you want now?????" She immediately grabbed her heart and fell into a chair. "I've got to find somebody to pray for me." "Do what??" I sarcastically asked? "Honey, I'm a dying. It's my heart, I guess. OOOOOOOOOOOO, I'm a hurtin'!" Not wanting to be a part of this drama, I walked to the cabinet and got out 2 Tylenol Wonder Drug (she thinks it cures everything). I gave them to her. Note: She usually swallows 4-5 pills at a time, but could only manage one Tylenol at a time....because she was dying, you know. She wanted to begin her praying routine. I got her up and started her toward the bed. Kerry had had a terrible day at work, and he is under enough stress. I was determined she was not going to keep him from sleeping. I got her to bed, but she wouldn't let me close her door. I returned to my bed, and she began her "HELP ME JESUS" act. I just got up, went into her room, closed the door, and sat in the chair. She carried on like a crazy 4 year old on Benedryl. She twisted her body in ways my body would never recover from. She hollered. She raised her hands. She spoke in tongues. She rocked back and forth. I sat in the corner, totally untouched....seen all this before. Rebekah got up and came in to check on us. Moma was drawing a crowd and planned to take full advantage of it. "Pray for me! Somebody pray for me" My standard answer "I'm praying for you....praying for God to take you home." Yes, I am mean and unfeeling after midnight. You cannot imagine the carrying on she did, unless you are pentecostal, then you know. The final blow was her motioning for me to come to her dying bed. "Julie....Julie.....pray for me. Lay your hands on me and pray for me." I answered, "I am praying for you Moma". Not good enough. "Lay your hands on my head and pray...PRAY". So, to appease, I put my hand on her forehead, bowed my head, and said my usual prayer silently. Then I opened my eyes and said, "Okay, now I want you to go to sleep". The ugliest smirk came on her face as she said, "That wasn't worth a flip and you know it!" Say what you want about me, but I lit into her at that moment! "Listen here little woman! Who are you to say my prayers aren't worth anything? Are you Jesus Christ? I don't think so, but you think the pentecostal way is the only way. WELL I AM NOT, NOR WILL I EVER BE PENTECOSTAL!!! You pray your way and I"ll pray mine, but I guarantee that MY GOD is big enough to hear my prayers without all that show and carrying on. You are not dying!" She snapped her head to the side, jutted out that chin, and said, "Forget it!". She closed her eyes and I didn't hear another peep all night.

I Hear Myself Saying This to Kids at School

"You won't let me be good to you!" I am screaming that at my Moma at 9:00 pm. She is riding her princess pillow high tonight.  The nicer you are to her, the more demanding she is. The more you do for her, the needier she gets. Ugh......
She got a bath tonight. I admit. I have been very neglectful toward her bathing needs this summer. I HATE HATE HATE bath time. I could not do that for a living no matter what the pay was. I am not an "old people" person. This one happens to belong to me, so I have no real choice here. I watched her bathe, and remembered how as a little girl, she fostered my love for a long hot bath with water and bubbles up to my neck. She lathered and washed, and scrubbed, and rinsed over and over and over! When I washed her back with the scrubby thing, she ooooooo'd and ahhhhhhhh'd about how good it felt. I was feeling pretty good toward her, knowing how good it feels to be clean, really clean. I helped her out, helped her dry off. We powdered her, and put medicine on her psoriasis, got on a clean gown and housecoat. I helped her to her room, where I had put clean sheets on her bed and fresh pillow cases. My heart was full.
I left her room to go clean up the bathroom. She called to me and asked where her face cream was. I explained that we had put the medicine on her face where the psoriasis was so she shouldn't use the face cream right now. She was okay with that. By the time I got the bathroom straightened up, I was exhausted. I went into my room and sat on the bed. I heard...."Julie......Julie!!......JUUUUUUULIIIEEE" I got up and went to her room. "Hey, get me some clean socks". They are not hidden, they are in her drawer, but she needed me to get them.
Since then, she has had a peanut butter cookie, chocolate milk, coconut candy, and ice cream. And before the bath she had eaten a huge plate of spaghetti and garlic bread. She gets needier by the minute. I need to be reminded of this the next time my heart is so full of good feelings. This....this is the REAL Mildred Hall. She was toted on a satin pillow all her life, and this is how she has always been, all my life.

Oh, and sidebar....Tonight on her way to the bathroom for her bath, she paused at the bar, looked to see if anyone was watching her (Kerry was from the den). She grabbed a bag and dumped some of the contents in her hand and slid it into her housecoat pocket. Kerry came and told me. I asked her in front of him, "Did you get some of this and put it in your pocket?" She looked like a child caught stealing...."Did you?" I asked again. Finally, she nodded her head yes. "Moma! This is dog food!" I showed her the bag. She reached into her pocket and handed it back to me, and said matter of factly, "I don't want any". Precious.

IT'S MONDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have answered the question concerning what day this is 59 times today. It is on her whiteboard. She asks everyone who comes in what day it is. When every day is the same, why do you care what day it is?

She has had a couple of minor dying spells, but not bad. She has been in another world today. Very passive, but not necessarily sweet. She ate a good supper, but never said anything much other than to ask what day it was, and to tell me she enjoyed her supper.  Well, she did ask if Seth was going to eat with us, but it wasn't her usually aggressive personality.She went to bed after she ate.

I see so many changes in her, but then she rallies up and makes me want to strangle her! But I pray for the Lord's mercy to take her peacefully in her sleep when He sees fit, regardless of when I think it should be.

Today Sunday?

Wow! Talk about a personality change....Moma got up this morning with not only her sassy britches on, but her sharp-as-a-tack britches. I was in the den when I heard her coming. Kerry was watching her from his chair. She walked straight into the kitchen, opened the cabinet, got out a coffee mug, and poured her coffee...I jumped up to get the milk because I could just see my gallon of milk flowing all over the kitchen floor. She then asked, "Today is Sunday, isn't it?" She wasn't feeble, it was matter of fact. I began my usual ritual of fixing her breakfast, when I heard...."YUCK! This coffee ain't hot! ......sitting over there on that warmer, it ought to be hot!"  I knew what was coming. "Julie! Put my coffee in that oven (microwave) and heat it up!" I did not acknowledge her fast enough. "Do you hear me???" I took the cup and placed it in the microwave with the measuring cup of water for her oatmeal. "Hey, are you fixing me something to eat?" (Urge to kill) "Yes! Did you get up on the grouchy side of the bed today?" She smirked, "I can go back to bed!" Did she think I'd be sad? This will be one of those days when nothing I do is right.