Saturday, January 31, 2009

WHERE'S MY MONEY??????????????????

I was standing at the sink today, and Moma walked over to the sink and said, "WHERE'S MY MONEY??" Today we have discussed money, her checking account, and more money at least 40 times. Could someone explain to me why she needs money? She goes NO WHERE, I buy all her stuff, and she doesn't need any thing!!! Still, according to her, she is "a human being" and she wants some MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, January 30, 2009

Somethings wrong.....

"Something's wrong with me. I feel awful. I can't hardly stand it. I'm about to freeze". If I had not been hoodwinked before, I would have sworn that this afternoon Moma would pass on to the other side. She moaned and groaned and carried on. She wanted a "nerve" pill (she has none). Then she said, "What's a Tylenol?" I told her it was for pain and asked if she hurt somewhere. She said, "No, I can't explain it". She is such a drama queen. We left her here while we went out to eat. I warned my sister that she was "pitiful". When we got home, she was mean and nasty. Back to normal...............

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Reading the paper

This is a picture of Moma reading the paper. She stands to read it most all the time! (Funny, I do too! That's scary!)

Just waiting on the clowns

I am just waiting on a tiny car full of clowns to show up. I truly am living the life of a ringmaster. Moma gets crazier and crazier with each passing day. And it seems just as soon as she has a clear day, she spirals downward into a sea of insanity. Today, she kept referring to "that womern" (which translates to that woman). I realized she was talking about ME. She usually gets confused really bad mid-week because my sister stays with her on Wednesdays and the sitter is here Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. But no, she wasn't referring to them, it was me.
And her latest habit is rising bright and early every morning with me about 5:30. Imagine me trying to get ready for work and her asking 40 million stupid questions. Those of you who know me, know that I DO NOT SPEAK IN THE MORNINGS!!! to anyone, for any reason. And she wants coffee and breakfast. THIS I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR IN THE MORNINGS!
And have I mentioned her new favorite phrase? Shut-up! Isn't that precious??

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The Big Tent

Tonight I realized that I am the ring master under the big tent. My life is a circus. As usual, during my bath, the door opens a crack and hits the drawer.
Moma: Juuulie
Me: What?
Moma: JULIE!!
Me: WHAT IS IT?????
Moma: Hon, before you go to bed, get them dogs out of my room. They are on my bed and they won't stay out of my room (This is her new platform NO DOGS IN HER ROOM, she claims they relieve themselves in there)
Me: Okay Moma. Close the door.
Moma: What?
Me: Close the door please!!
Moma: I didn't understand you!
Moma: Honey, I closed my door. They pushed the door and came in there, and got on my bed.
Me: MOMA!! Close the bathroom door.
Moma: What?
Moma: I didn't understand you
Moma: I know it.
Note to self: Must begin charging for this show.

Later, she appeared in the kitchen.
Moma: Hey, is she going to do anything about those dogs?
Me: Who? Me? What do you want me to do?
Moma: Julie, whose dogs are those?
Me: They are mine!
Moma: Well put them in your room then!

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Another Sunday Update

Moma has been confused, yet strangely clear on some things. She knows my name. She knows she lives with me. She seems to know what is going on, but she continually asks what day it is, what time it is, and where Kerry is (she is always concerned about where that man is). She and Christopher fight on a fairly regular basis, and when Bek comes home, she starts fusses with her too. But today when she told me to shut-up...............my kids flipped out. Rebekah and I were bringing in groceries and she came poking in. She claimed to be hungry. Christopher said he had just fed her. She turned up her nose and said, "oh he fed me an old sandwich he got out of the 'frigerator". That old sandwich was an Arby's beef and cheddar we had bought her. She said it wasn't enough and she was still hungry. Ugh! So I said, (now mind you I am putting up groceries) "If you will let me finish what I am doing, I'll fix you something". She looked up at me and said, "Just do it and shut up". My kids went ballistic on her! lol Now you know what they say about paybacks......I made her take a bath. (tee hee)
Until next time, dance like no one is watching.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Tears and the Status Quo

As I have said OVER and OVER, I am a status quo person. I need my structure. I need a routine. I like this lifestyle....same ole same ole. Never did like surprises or change. And don't say it is because I am getting older! I've been this way all my life. One time, when I was about 8 years old, my parents decided to put our house up for sale and move. I stole the For Sale sign countless times. Change is overrated (Sorry Barack). So, what am I leading up to? Okay....here goes....try to keep up.
My sister was in a wreck back in (uh....)December (?). So, she has been having major neck and back troubles. She made a doctor appt. for Wed. of this week, which is her day off, which is the day she stays at my house with the Precious Princess. My sitter also had an appt. for blood work because it is also her day off. Duh....where does that leave me? Taking a day off that I did not want to take. Now remember, Monday was a holiday and I asked the sitter to go ahead and come in to work so I could get things done (dentist, keys made, check on windshield for Bek's car, etc. You get the idea.) She called at 6ish am to say that her doctor had changed her medicine and it was making her dizzy and she was vomiting. Great! Now, I know she couldn't help it and I am not blaming anyone (just the Payne luck). So, I call and reschedule the dentist, and forget all my other errands and plans. (sigh). I call her Monday evening, and she says she is still a bit dizzy but will be okay. Well, the dizzy demons had other plans. Her husband called me at 6:30 this morning (yes, I was dressed and ready for work and my afternoon doctor appt. in B'ham). I am about to go crazy, not to mention that the PP had gotten herself up at the crack of dawn wanting coffee to settle her stomach (because she had OVER eaten the night before, which I failed to report on, sorry). Now, if you know my companion, Anxiety......He is not my friend. Yes, I am freaking out here. (Stop thinking bad of me, I am not blaming ANYONE!! I just hate change. I am an organization person.) My sweet husband, who I will reward later, said, "Go to work, I'll stay". WHAT A MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then, my other companion, Guilt, stopped by. I tried to tell him that he should go to work and I'd stay. He insisted. Now I know why God sent him my way in 1984. He's my ROCK. So, off to work I go. I make all the necessary preparations for being out on Wednesday. On my way home from the doctor, my niece called to offer to stay with Moma Wednesday so I could work. I was hesitant (the change thing, plans were already made). I told her I'd call her back. I did! within 10 minutes to say "YES". So, she is coming to my rescue tomorrow. All smiles here.
None of that had to do with Moma. Here's her deal for the day. When I got home, I immediately began fixing supper. Kerry got up to go to his office and check emails, etc. Moma came in the kitchen and said, "I have to go lay down". I told her that was fine, and then I looked at her, I said, "Moma, you look like you are about to cry." She said, "I'm trying not to." And then she went into a spill about how sad it is not having anyone, nobody comes to see her, and her pastor hasn't even visited her. and on and on. It was pitiful. But then she looked at me and said, "Did you know that I was your aunt?" Oh me............it's the twilight zone again.
My hands hurt from that long post. TTYL

Sunday, January 18, 2009

No More Subway!

Today has been fairly typical, but I don't think I have ever shared this typical behavior. The story goes like this.
Today was Kerry's day to go to church. When Moma asked, I was explaining that today is our pastor's last day, and that Kerry had gone to church. She talked about it many times. Later in the day, she saw me getting ready for the reception. My son was going to stay with her while I went; Kerry was already there at a deacon's meeting. It was 3:15. She asked if we were going to have any supper and who was going to stay with her. I kept telling her that I'd be back for supper and I'd handle it. Anything "different" makes her totally crazy. So, the reception was nice and we got home around 6:20. Immediately, she began to question the supper issue. When she got NO results to her query, she got up and said, "I'm going to go to bed if we ain't having no supper". We laughed and told her we would get some supper. After some discussion, we decided on Subway. Now, Moma HATES Subway, but if we don't get her one of the sandwiches when we get one, she tries to die. And of course, she complained from the minute she began unwrapping her sandwich until I took it away from her (I realize I am dragging this out). This thing that she does when we eat drives me crazy! While we eat, she peeks around the napkin basket in the center of the table. She is making sure that she has everything everyone else has. God forbid you get chips that she don't, or a pickle or ANYTHING. Be sure there is enough for her, or don't eat it. She inspects everything on everyone's plate. And, as you well know from former posts, she'll either remove things from your plate or add things to it. It makes me want to eat in a cubicle.
When she got up from the table, she said, "Next time, leave me out of this! I'd rather have a plain round hamburger!"

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

A Tale

I really don't have anything to report today. She is still eating everything but the bark on our trees. She whines for candy and money on a regular basis. Nothing new.....so, a story from the past.
When I was little, there was a song that was popular (and my age is showing, I know) called Wooly Bully. Believe it or not, my Moma used to sing this song with me. We'd ride through town listening to WVOK (the mighty 690, right?) and Joe Rumore in her black Dodge with a push button starter and wing fenders like the bat mobile. We sang "Hey there little red riding hood...." and "Wooly Bullllllllly!" She sang along like a teeny bopper! And she always did it in a funny voice. What a hoot! And for those of you who know, she answered the phone like this, "Joe Rumore!" He never called. We never won.
Oh well...

Monday, January 12, 2009


One might think that the home bathroom would be a private refuge, a sanctuary so to speak. How I long for such at my house. Since my children were born, I have never been able to take a bath or take anything else, let alone wash my face, brush my teeth or put on my make-up without someone having to get in with me. My kids got to be pros at getting in. Now that the door knob has been long broken from use and abuse, I have to use my make-up drawer as a locking device. My daughter can reach into the crack and close the drawer, then enter with no stress whatsoever. Keep in mind that in the back of my mind, I am thinking of a day, when she is grown (and thank God my son did outgrow coming in with me) and gone off to college, and I can bathe in total peace. Well, so much for thinking, hoping, and praying. Now, when I am bathing (and yes, I mean EVERY night) I pull the drawer across the door, but without fail.....you can set your clock by it.....the door opens, hits the drawer....and through the crack, the Precious Princess' face appears. "JULIE.......JULIE........I WANT TO TALK TO YOU!!" Now, why she feels like she needs to holler, I will never know. I guess because she cannot see me, oh, but I see her....little precious.
Maybe, just maybe, when I get to Heaven, after I receive my crown and lay it at Jesus' feet, and after I sing a chorus or two with the Heavenly choir (I sing alto), and after I find Mother and Daddy, and meet my great grandparents I have heard so much about, then maybe if I am good, I'll get a hot bath in peace. No children, No Moma. (She'll probably still be living in my house on Earth...)

Sunday, January 11, 2009


Little Red Riding Hood was never more lost than Moma has been today. After several days of "good" behavior, she has been a lost lamb today. I know I have answered the same question 75 times today. She needs to know:
  1. Who writes my checks?/Who is in charge of my money?
  2. Who pays my tithe? Who do you pay it to? How do you pay it? Somebody told me that the church doesn't accept mail anymore.
  3. Where'd they all go? Where is everybody?
  4. How old am I?
  5. Did y'all ever put my old house up for sale? How much did you get for it? How about giving me some of that money?
  6. Are you going to the store? I want some CANDY! Do y'all have anything sweet to eat?
  7. Are you going to cook dinner/supper? What are we going to eat? Will you give me something to eat?
  8. Where's them dogs?

Today, she had no clue who I was, who Rebekah was, whether or not I had children...and on and on. She is hung up on her niece Dorothy. She asks about her EVERY DAY! "Don't Dorothy ever come by to see us?" I'm not sure if she means the actual Dorothy or if she is calling my sister that. Whew! She has worn me out today!! Kerry finally ripped her a new one and sent her tail to bed! She slammed her door behind her. Personally, I am thankful right now for no questions.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Here Kitty Kitty

When I got home yesterday, Moma acted as if I'd been gone for weeks. She hugged me and kept telling me how happy she was that I was home. She couldn't get enough of me. It was quite funny. Between her and the dog, I feel so loved! lol
Tonight at supper, she kept asking Kerry who's cat he had been holding. After about the 4th time, he said, "Yours". She said, "No, it ain't mine". They batted this back and forth for several minutes. She kept trying to make me tell her that the cat was his, not hers. All I would say was, "It isn't his cat" because it isn't. Actually she's Bek's. When it finally settled down, Kerry got up from the table, and looked at her, and said, "Where'd you get that cat?" UGH! Then he promptly left to go work on his truck, leaving me with the madness. Is this blog about her craziness or mine?

Wednesday, January 7, 2009


My friend and I are in Nashville for the signing of Janet Evanovich's new book (Plum Spooky) and it was GREAT fun! But, we went by the house as we were leaving home to drop off her car. Moma said, "Where are you going?" I told her. She said, "Who's staying with me?" I said, "Sue and Kerry". She said, "Shoot....I don't want to stay with Kerry!" lol How precious. Gonna shop a bit tomorrow at Opry Mills and then home again, home again!

Off to read my new book!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Status Quo

Status Quo....one of my graduate school terms. I am a status quo person. I like things like they are, like they should be, no changes, no surprises.....Boring? No, I am a person who needs structure. The last few nights have been just that at my house.
Moma has been more "with it" than usual, but she has been going to bed after supper and closing her door, and STAYING THERE UNTIL MORNING. What's up with that? Seriously, she is getting good rest and sleep, so it is okay with me. The sitter has to wake her to get her breakfast, so sleeping may be something she does does more and more. She tells me she loves me every day.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Do you want this?

Now that we have brought things to Moma from her house, she is trying to give everything away. She told me tonight to come into her room and pick out everything that I wanted. Then she started going through the things I had brought for Rebekah to take back to college (Tupperware, etc.) and offering them to anyone in the room. Bless her heart. I cannot imagine the feeling of knowing that I will never be in control of anything again. I'm sure it looks to her like we are just pilfering through her things, and casting lots over them. I will be the same way....OR WORSE! I am all about MY THINGS. Don't borrow so much as a pencil off my desk without asking or returning it. Woe be unto the fool who does. Say a prayer for her tonight; pray for her peace.
Back to work tomorrow after Christmas break! Yes, I am ready! Yes, I am looking forward to it. It is an in-service day and half the faculty will be out of town at a workshop!!!! I am going to get so much work done with NO interruptions!!!
For 2009....I am going to: stop cussing! and get myself back into shape! To God be the glory!

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Moma looks like Christmas just wore her out. The truth is SHE wore Christmas out. She bossed everyone who would listen to her that day! lol By the way, don't comment and tell me how cute she is. Spend your 2 week Christmas vacation with her and then tell me how cute she is. LOL

She has been hurting today around her rib cage. Not sure if she has some fluid on her lungs, cracked a rib, or just pulled a muscle, but she has been in a good deal of pain. I have had to hold her down though, she loves medicine, and would take it every 30 minutes. You know, princesses do not tolerate pain at all (and according to them, they shouldn't have to).

I go back to work Monday, so look for a better attitude from me! All SMILES here!

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Happy New Year!

We have been cleaning out my grandmother's house for the past several days. I've brought home Tupperware, scarves, belts, purses, pictures, etc. My sister and I are bartering over them, which seems weird since my grandmother is alive. We did this with our parents' things, but they were long deceased when we did. Of course, I've brought her things that she would want. She picked out what she wanted of the belts, purses and scarves. She wants all the pictures (that were hanging on the walls) paraded before her so she can decide what to keep. lol Now, that her things are coming in my house on a regular basis lately, she wants so bad to be in charge and to boss. Tonight, she informed me that I was NOT to fix her plate, she'd do it herself! The only bad thing about selling her house and bringing in all her things is that she wants to tell you the story behind every piece of Tupperware, every dish, every handkerchief. lol
Other funny things....the other night she looked at me while I was trying so hard to watch a movie (which was useless) and she said, "Julie! Did you ever marry??" Then she said, "Well I thought you did.....that man......here" Don't ask me to fill in the dots because she talks in brokenness like that. Who knows what is going through her mind.
Tomorrow is more than likely my last time to enter my grandmother's home; a home where I baked cakes, learned at my grandmother's knee, cut my forehead on a dang metal tumbler, and spent many many hours of total happiness. Although I am tired and ready to be finished with all this. I am a little sad. Turning over the keys to a stranger who has no idea of the love that is within the walls of my great grandmother's home where my grandmother has lived since she was seven years old, where my precious Daddy was born and raised, and where so many of our relatives called home at some point in time is going to be hard to say the very least.
Goodbye old house.