Hair

If you are a follower, you'll remember the story about Moma trying to turn her bedroom into a beauty shop. Well, apparently, she was supposed to be a hair dresser. She is on this kick of telling people how awful their hair looks. She talks to the TV and says, "You ort to be ashamed with your hair all long like that (talking to men). That looks awful". And every time Rebekah and I wear our hair up in a pony tail or clip, she tells us to take it down. "I don't like yor hair like that". But the other day, she told Cheryl, my friend, how "turible" her hair looked. I wanted to smack her. She would not let up until Cheryl took her hair down, protesting the whole time because she said her hair was dirty. It was like she could not tell her enough how bad her hair looked. I mean, really? Seriously? Has she looked at her hair lately? She looks like Cramer!

Change

I can't explain it. I am not sure I even understand what I am about to say. Moma is changing somehow. She is physically more feeble, most of the time. She is still strong though (like when you try to take something away from her). Her balance I guess, is what is worse.
She is different personality-wise in that most of the time, she is sweet, but still busy. She isn't cussing as much (may be out of her system-ha!). She tells me how much she will miss me, when I am getting ready to leave. She asks where Kerry is all day long. It's like she is slipping away, but I just can't describe it. She asks questions more like a scared child, rather than in an administrative tone. "Where are you going? When will you be back?" "You aren't going any where today are you?" It is sad.....
That being said, please know that she is still busy....still annoying....and still Moma. I do not for the life of me understand why God is leaving her here. HIS plan is perfect, and not mine to question, but I am human. She was always my confidant, my friend....and I hate seeing her dwindle away to this tiny little body who is dependent on me for everything, when I used to look to her for everything.
I am thankful for the tools God has given me to take this journey. I know I am in the palm of His hand, as is Moma. His way, not mine.

Bits and Pieces

I understand that I was talked about quite a bit last night while I attended the mayor's fund raiser. One of my dearest friends (seriously, not just because you read my blog) came to sit with the Princess. She brought her a BBQ sandwich, chocolate fudge pie, and a jug of chocolate milk. But somehow...the conversation took a turn toward the negligence by me and my audacity of asking a friend to come up here while I go out and have a good time. Feel free to check me for tears...there are none. I even offered my friend a chance to be a "guest blogger" here, but she declined.
Today, Princess has been a busy girl. She helped me clean out a drawer (with me saying, "Put that down, No you cannot have that, I'll get that in a minute" Then she rambled through all the things I took out of the drawer (which more than likely will make it back to the same drawer...hey! it's a junk drawer). Now, I was through...but she turned her attention to another drawer in my kitchen (sigh...yes another junk drawer) and began sorting through all the things in it. So....I guess I started something when all I set out to do was get a plate hanger (I have some somewhere) for a newly acquired blue plate from Sal-Mart. After that she has been on my *** all afternoon.
"Julie, is that water on in that pool? You need to turn that off, it's about to spill over"
"Hey, what's all this in the refrigerator? You need to clean this out"
"That plant is going to die"
"Those dogs need water"
"Give that dog a bite"
"Put these somewhere" (handed me a handful of rubber bands)
And what really ticks me off is.....she is usually right! ugh
So much for me getting into the Blue Hole today. I thought she was going to bed, but she is sitting right behind me firing questions at me. Sigh......at least she isn't rambling.

Night on the town

Sherry came and got Moma last night around 6, to take her out to eat and keep her awhile for me to go see Rebekah's play. Somehow they couldn't get back into my house after they ate, so Sherry took Moma to her house. That is always a mistake. She nearly drove Sherry crazy. I picked her up about 10:20, and she was feeble, and weak, and felt so bad! (ha! and I went to see Bek's performance!) I got her home and she tried her best to fall in the driveway. Then I had to walk her to her room, and help her get undressed, hang up her clothes, get out her night gown, etc. What a drama queen. I guess she was punishing me for leaving her. But this morning....she was up bright and early stomping through my house, demanding breakfast. She doesn't stay in character long.

I don't like her today....

I know that I have been very negative lately, and I apologize.......BUT! I am not her biggest fan today. She is bossy, busy, and just plain annoying. She has asked the same questions all day. She wants to close curtains and doors, put animals out or let them in, pour her own milk, and EAT. She has asked at least one hour before every meal...."Ain't we gone eat dinner?" (or supper?). Ugh.
OH! And she has stolen a picture out of my bathroom. It was one of those things she got free from a furniture store when she bought her sofa. She gave it to my mother, and when she died, I claimed it. So, I suppose now she has taken it back. She takes back many of her things from time to time. DRIVES ME INSANE!!!
She just left the kitchen, finishing her 1st after supper snack. There will be more.

Cousins Linda, Michael, and Dorthy with the little Princess. Dorthy is the one she calls meaning Sherry. They are all from Aunt Rosa Bell's line. Aunt Rosa Bell was one of the older children of Minnie Lou and Cicero.
Erin and Sherry with Moma.

Looking back

It must be easy to assess a situation that you have no investment in and pass off your advise. I love my family, but until you take Moma into your house and have her totally disrupt your life and ways of doing things, and stop all your comings and goings without having to make arrangements...please stop advising me. I appreciate your concern for her. She is well taken care of, fed 3 meals a day plus a ka-jillion snacks, she is bathed and her clothes are washed. I am doing the best I can and any time you want to take on this mission, even for a weekend, let me know. If you love her and are really concerned about her, come visit her, send her a card, buy her a milkshake or gum. Your once a year voice of concern has been heard and duly noted. You are now free to return to your life. Laughter is all I have. Do not try to take it from me. God equipped me with it to deal with this mission. Remember, he doesn't call the equipped, he equips the called. Enough said on that. You know who you are.

The family reunion is always fun to me, as our family is full of jokers and sweet funny people. My dad could gather with his cousins and they would cut up for hours. I miss him, especially at the reunion. He loved his family. Moma loves her family too, even if she isn't sure who they are. She smiles and nods, and in that little head thinks "Who in the cat hair is that?" She yelled out during announcements that she couldn't hear anything he was saying. She didn't know they were honoring her because she was too busy asking me a million questions. I had to tell her, and her response? "Good". But oh how she loves a spread of food. This year, I let her get in line and tell me what to put on her plate. She had one scoop of just about everything on the table. Her food was in layers. The plate was seriously so full, I wasn't sure I could get it to the table. She ate every bite!!!! And after surveying all our plates, sent Sherry and Erin back for more. AND OF COURSE, she wrapped her up a "go package". I caught her putting BBQ meat in a napkin and sliding it into her purse. I took it out in front of her and tried to explain that she could take home some food, but that we were going to put it on a plate. I went and got a plate and gave it to her wanting her to put the BBQ meat on it. Instead she got up and went back to the table and got 4 BBQ chicken thighs, brought it back to the table, and turned around and swiped someones foil from a basket under the table and wrapped it up....left the plate on the table!!!!!!!!!! As soon as her "take out" was secured, she was ready to go. I sent Erin with her to the bathroom so I could confiscate the foil package and check her purse for other contraband. As soon as she came out, she wanted to go.....never mind that families were making pictures, cousins were chatting, and I wasn't really ready to go. But then again....it is all about her.

Here is the Princess with her 2 nephews (both named James). There is so much to tell about this year's family reunion, but she is wearing me out tonight. She is engineering CRAZY TRAIN! And she's coming around the bend again. Shoot me.

2010 Family Reunion only a memory now

She got up bright and early this morning. She remembered that we had something to do today, but couldn't put her finger on it. I laid in the bed and listened to her clomp through the house. Finally, I got up and she asked (as if I have never done it before) "Hon, could you fix us some breakfast?" Ugh....I don't speak in the mornings if I don't have to, but you can't just answer her because it is automatically followed with "huh?" which I think is more habit than hearing trouble. During breakfast, she began the tiring repetition of questions.
"Is today Saturday or Sunday?"
"Are you going to take me to that family reunion?"
"What time do we have to be there?"
"Who's gone take me?"
She repeated this series of questions until I swear I was about to lose it.

When we were ready to leave, I had to practically drag her out of the house. She waits until the last minute to fill her purse with everything she can cram in it from her room. She'll check herself in the mirror, go to the bathroom, and then one more time, check that purse. It's awful, but I have to just get ugly and make her leave. (Yes, I take her by the arm and say "Let's go")

(Note: I am editing a post that I haven't posted yet and am not sure how it will post, so I'll detail her behavior in another post....Just FYI)

What room are you in?

Tonight as I was getting out of the bathtub, I could hear Moma talking to herself. She was getting loud and you know how sick I am....I couldn't wait to get to the baby monitor. Kerry and I listened and laughed as she apparently went around asking different ones "What room are you in?" She'd say, "What room are you in? Are you happy (or satisfied) in there?" Then she'd say, "Okay, is everybody covered? Good! Get to work!" So, we thought she must be at work in the cotton mill. She'd get loud sometimes and say, "GET IN THERE!" Finally we realized she was at church. I heard her say, "You ort to get in a room and enjoy Sunday School!" and then she said...."Listen, LISTEN! Every damn one of you get out of this auditorium and get in a room! YOU HEAR ME?" Kerry and I were about to die laughing, but then her door opened. We thought it was over. She stuck her head in the den and said, "Julie......JULIE!" I looked her way. "What room are you in?" she asked. I said, "the den". She came closer and said, "I didn't hear you". I said, "Moma, I am in the den, why?" "You gone stay in here?" I said, "Yeah, why?" She said, "You ain't gone teach nobody?" At this point, I was about to lose it. I said, "No, not tonight". She said, "What about later?" I said, "Yeah, I will". She said, "Who? Who do you want to work with?" I said, "Wherever y'all need me. I will teach wherever y'all need me". She turned and looked at Kerry and said, "You gone stay right there in the church?" He nodded that he was. She swiped her hand and said, "That's all I wanted to know." Turning around, she left the room. We busted a gut. I then said, "Listen Kerry....can you smell the popcorn? Can you hear the circus music?"

It Never Fails

I know she doesn't do it on purpose, even though it seems as if she does....and I kind of want to believe she does (to justify my anger). Every time I have a plan for what to do with her down time, she messes it up by getting back up or having a dying spell or something. Today, she slept until 9:00! Praise the Lord! The sun was shining and I wanted to correct my Vitamin D deficiency. She ate breakfast and began her usual "Help Me Lord" chorus. I got up and cleared the table hoping she'd go back to bed. She finally did and I RAN (yes, ran) to the bathroom to get my bathing suit on. I quickly set up the baby monitor on the deck so I could hear her, grabbed a towel, my cell, and sunglasses. I skimmed the pool for bugs because my tiny pump does basically nothing, stepped over the side, and got settled on my float. Leaning back all comfy, soaking up some rays and over the monitor, I hear CLICK, CLICK.....no, I thought....again.....CLICK, CLICK.........crap! she's up. And then I hear that dreaded silence. I looked over at the french doors and there was Precious. Ugh.....

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Please be quiet! I am on the phone.
You have asked that a million times! LISTEN!
Leave that alone.
What do you want now?
Stop asking for chocolate milk, we have NONE.
Today is TUESDAY for the 59th time.
Kerry has gone to get a trailer, he will be back in a minute.....
Please get out of there.
No, I do not mind you going on to bed (just go!)
Please don't feed the dogs or the cats.
Please stop pounding your Whale crackers into whale dust. They will soften in your mouth.
Do not close that door.
Get out of the refrigerator.
AAAAUUUUGGGGGGGGGH!
Guess how my day has been?

Back to Reality

This morning, Moma got up WAY before I did, but since I am so laid back from my trip, I laid in the bed and listened to her wander all through my house. She rambled through bags, moved chairs, and was doing something in a cabinet. I decided I needed to get up and check the damages. She had worked so hard rearranging furniture, Rebekah's college things, and all my treasures from my trip to North Carolina. She had things down on the floor that were put up to keep the dogs from making their own. She took things out of bags, ate 2 of my peaches I just bought on the trip, and had folded up all the papers my treasures were wrapped in (to save, I suppose....I tossed them). So, I guess she is going to be in charge today. Well.....I just may let her.

Last night

Tonight is my last night away from Moma!!! I have eaten so much I will need heavy doses of laxatives. Oh well....it's been fun!

Saturday

I'm still away from Moma! Nanny Nanny Boo Boo!!! Having a wonderful time with a dear old friend. Eating like a pig, and laughing like a crazy person! I may never go home. HA!

Road Trip

I'm away from Moma! Nanny nanny boo boo!!!! :)

Bits and Pieces

I haven't really been faithful to the blog lately. I'm just out of sorts because it is summer and I have no schedule and everything to do is on that "Oh, I've got plenty of time to do that. I'll get to it in a minute" plan. And being extremely ADD, I never get to anything. But....even though I am in laid back mode, Moma is NOT. She has been so busy and annoying and irritating these last few days that I am publicly announcing that I do not like her (for now anyway).

She has been on that "Do you think I need a perm'nt" kick for several weeks and we have put her off because her beauty shop charges $72 for a perm!!!!! And I understand that she has troll doll hair and it isn't easy, but please.....so I put her off until her SS check hit the bank. (Cha-ching) It isn't much, but at least we won't go to jail over her getting a perm. So, Monday she started her long drawn out tirade of asking about getting a perm, and going to the beauty shop, and who is going to take her, and on and on and on....you can imagine. By Tuesday it was in an epidemic state. She wanted me to call the lady at 7 am. Yes, I didn't hit the wrong key. Then at 8 am. I had to make her mad to get her to hush. She threatened to call herself. I told her if she did, she wouldn't go. She screamed at me over and over about calling the poor woman who has to tame the troll. I finally got her last night about 8:30. Of course, by then, I had lied and told Moma that I had talked to her and she said, "okay". That did not stop Mildred. At 8:00 last night, she stood over me until I called her again and confirmed the time. She literally wears me out. Sometimes I win these things and most of the time, she does. So, as I type, the princess is at the beauty shop, getting a perm, eating snacks and drinking coffee. Good grief!

Hey!

Moma: Hey!! Is anybody in there? HEY!!!
Me: (jumping out of bed and re-directing her to her room)
Moma: Where they all at?
Me: (mumbling something obscene)
Moma: HEY! Where is everybody??? Why ain't there no one here?
Me: Moma, it is 4:00 in the morning. There is no one up, we are all in the bed!
Moma: oh.....
Me: (stomping out of her room, slamming her door)
Moma: Smart ass

EARLY Thursday

Saddle up, this may be a long ride. My heart is so heavy for Melodie, Baylor, Blake and Brandon. Craig joined his parents in Heaven last night. He was one of those friends who loved life, never met a stranger, and made you feel like you were the only person worth talking to. For many years, he was just the little brother of a childhood friend, but came to be more of a friend than his sister. He married my precious friend, and in the very prime of his life, got the most dreaded diagnosis. I am happy that he is no longer in pain, but already feel the void his absence creates. I love you, Craig.

In case you are wondering why I am up at 5:23 am, it would be because the little princess decided at 3 am to take a walk on the wild side, and try to get past Mr. Payne for some chocolate milk. Her first mistake was turning off our fan. Mr. Payne, unlike me, is a light sleeper....so don't try to get anything past him. Me? You could walk off with the house. But, at 51, once I get woke up, I pretty much stay that way (without meds). I was awakened to their arguments over chocolate milk. He marched her back to her room and told her to get back in the bed after some lengthy discussion. I hate that she is wearing on his patience. I do not want her to cause him any health problems. His blood pressure is high enough already. Shortly after he closed her door, I saw the light come on in the hallway. She was up again. This time, I got up. She was peeking around the corner of the living room. I got her by the arm, and started moving her back to her room. She protested loudly and persistently. I normally give in, but I did not want to feel the wrath of Mr. Payne for letting her have her way. Long story short, I had to stand in the doorway to block her from leaving her room. At first, she stood toe to toe with me, then she sat down in a chair and pulled that pentecostal prayer thing. "Jesus, help me! (hands raised) Lord, do help me!" So I just prayed along with her OUT LOUD! "Yes, Lord. She needs help. Take her home to be with you". This stopped that little charismatic outburst. She then moved over to the bed, and sat on the end. At this point, she began the little girl pleading. "Julie, why can't I have some milk?" "I'm hungry" "I just want some milk" "I never thought you'd do me this way..." Before that thought was out of her mouth good, I said, "I never thought you would do ME this way. You have told us to knock you in the head when you get up in the night...I'm trying to get you back in bed." I heard Rebekah's door open. Great, now she has woken up the entire household, as her room is over Christopher's bed, so I know he is hearing all this. Rebekah tried to persuade me to go get her some milk, arguing with me that it is easier to just let her have her way. I was too far into this battle to give in. "Moma, you have now woken up everyone in the house. Kerry has to work tomorrow and Rebekah has school. GET IN THE BED!" Sitting on the side of the bed with a smug look on her face, she said, "Go on! I'll get in the bed." I stood my ground. "You gone stand there all night?" I nodded. Finally, she said, "I'll lay down...." She began fixing her covers, and acting as if she were going to do what I asked, but I know her well. She kept saying, "Go on". I stood firm. Finally, I said, "I can be just as stubborn as you are and I am not moving until you are in the bed covered up". She finally gave in and laid down and covered herself up. That was quite the victory! She is stubborn as a mule, and tonight I wanted to cattle prod her. As I laid my head back down, attempting (and failing) to go back to sleep, I began to wonder if I could use a stun gun on her. Yes, I just finished the new Stephanie Plum novel.