Downhill

Moma is in a downhill spiral. She doesn't rally back quite like she did. She will have moments where she seems more herself, but they do not last very long. She sleeps a lot. She is very confused and seems to be looking for something all the time. Tonight at supper, she kept looking for something. She said, "I had a....a....spoon, or something......maybe it was like a stick......I take it with me every where I go......I can't find it" She could have been referring to her cane (bionic arm) or the pencil I gave her today. Who knows? She is not even funny anymore. She is sad and lost. She is a shadow of herself. The nurse came to see her Friday, and told my sitter that she won't be with us much longer.
She doesn't even remember when and if she ate. She cannot remember taking medicine either. Tonight she said, "I've already taken this". I argued and told her that she had not. She said, "If I die, you'll know you gave me too much" and as funny as that sounds....it wasn't funny. I pray that God will not tarry. I pray for a peaceful journey to the other side. She will be so happy to be reunited with her mother, sisters, children and her husband. I want her to be happy. Am I being selfish?

Strange and unusual events

Today, Moma has been crazy. But not the usual crazy. She sleeps all the time now, but she got up for breakfast (11:00) only because I woke her. She ate and the very minute the last bite was in her mouth, she jumped up and started out of the kitchen mumbling "I got to go lay down". I followed her. She got in the bed and slept a good while, but hollered and carried on the whole time. She called her momma, Jesus, and me! She cried out, yelped like she was startled, and moaned and groaned. She got up a bit later and sat in her chair. She was saying, "one to three-thirty, one to three-thirty" over and over. I stood in the door, not 3 feet from her and she never acknowledged my presence. I went into her room and straightened her sheets, emptied her potty, and straightened up a bit. She never said a word until I started out of the room and she said, "Thanky".  Now she is wadded up in a wingback chair like a 4 year old. I just don't see this lasting much longer.

Ethel....YOU PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON!

Yes, our little version of "The Streak" woke Rebekah up this morning screaming! Rebekah went into her room, and there she was....naked as the day she was born. Rebekah and her brother were going to handle this on their own but could not find any gowns because Moma was "nekked" and they assumed she would have gotten one if there were any in the drawers. But, no. We are past the point of having much sense. So, they woke me up and when I went in there, she was already back in bed, covered up to her head, naked. She had gowns, and plenty of them. She had NO clue why she was naked. She could not answer any questions, and could not figure out how to put on her clothes.  She has really gone downhill in these last few months. She sleeps a lot and doesn't eat much at all.

Heat

This was Moma's conversation with her imaginary friends last night after she turned in.

Moma: Turn on some heat! What do you mean why do I want it on? I'm cold.
Don't just stand there! Turn it on! Get over there and turn on some heat! HEAT HEAT HEAT!!!!! That's it! Turn it on. Don't just stand there, like a dummy. Turn it on! Well, if you don't want to get warm, take your ass out in the yard!

Social Worker Session

Sometimes you just have to throw things

Today is one of those days that I need to throw things. So I just threw a handful of hangers across a room, but that wasn't good enough because nothing broke so I took a plastic one and threw it against the closet doors, and it popped into 2 pieces. I sighed, satisfied for now. To say that my life is a pile of poop is an understatement. If I could report on all the people in my life that make me crazy, this would be a REAL funny blog, but I have to keep peace with the group so I cannot report on their madness. My spirits were lifted this week when I got a card in the mail from my best friend in the world, Lisa Frazier Huffman. She is praying for peace in my life. Oh, how precious her friendship is to me. She will never know.
Let me report on the little princess' week. I had a substitute sitter Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Moma loves this gal, Penny. But Penny doesn't argue with her like Connie does. Penny lets Moma think she is right. (ha, wish I could do that). So the first part of the week was fairly uneventful. Thursday afternoon, I came home and the Hospice Chaplin was here. I never know what she might say to him, so I try to say within an earshot. She kept interrupting him while he was reading the Bible to her. He had no sooner got out of the driveway when the social worker called and wanted to come by. Moma had already gone and laid down so I told her YES it was fine for her to come! (Just my little happy, for all the misery she deals me). The social worker always sings and plays the piano for Mildred. She came in with a very hoarse voice saying that she could not sing, but she would play for Moma. But that wasn't good enough for the princess. She wanted both. So Cindy would start to sing, and Precious would say, "Can't nobody hear you, sing LOUD". She would not accept Cindy telling her that she couldn't. She would say, "You may as well hush, I can't hear you" "SANG LOUD" Poor Cindy then decided that she would just sing, and not play, so Mildred could hear her. "Can't you play that piano? Play and SANG!!" I recorded a bit of it, I may try to post it, so stay tuned.
Then today has been Paranoia Saturday. "Why don't you pour me some of that?" (Well, you don't drink Dr. Pepper, you said it burns your throat) "Why didn't you give that to me?" (What?) "That candy" (It isn't candy, it is a slim jim with cheese) "Well y'all sure did cut mime short" (We cut her sandwich in half) On and on.......She is in need of a road trip. Who wants her?

Rally

Yes, she  has rallied back. She will out live me. But the bad part is that she is MEANER than ever! And the scary part is that she seems to be more with it. Go figure........

A hoot

I came in from work Friday. The sitter had bailed, Moma was at Christopher's mercy. I heard her holler. I ran to her room and she was sitting in the floor. She had fallen. Why? Because busy tail was bent over trying to pick something up off the floor. She was not hurt. Christopher and I got her to bed.
Later, I was running around getting ready for a night out when I heard her calling me. "Help me! Julie!!! Help me" Thinking she had fallen again, I charged into her room. The princess was piled up on her new bed asleep. Grrrrr.....so loudly, I said, "Hey! What is all the hollering about?" She smiled sweetly and said, "I am waiting on a call from the church!" I had to laugh. Irony is funny.

Rally Cat

The rally cat has rallied back. She is up, mobile, alert, and nasty. Just so you know the score.

Down the spiral staircase

I feel like Moma is going down a spiral staircase. She is so crazy tonight, her speech is slurred, and she is in search of Jesus. She has asked me to help her find Him. She is moving very slowly, stooped over, and not at all spunky, like she should be. I cannot stand this state, and I hope it doesn't last long. She repeats the same thing over and over. "Julie, will you take care of me?" "Will you see after me?" "Keep a watch on that door and make sure nothing happens to me". Who knows what is going through her mind when she is saying that. Is she remembering what happened to her in November 2007? or is it just mindless jabber? There is one little funny to report. This morning when Connie went into her room to get her up for breakfast, the sheets and blankets were off the bed, and there she laid out FULLY DRESSED from head to toe. Wonder what in the world was going through that little head of hers? Who knows? I never heard a thing! Kerry Payne better get home in case she decides to drive off in the car next time! :)