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Friday, December 31, 2010

Happy New Year!

Well, another year has come and (almost) gone. Moma has been with me for 3 years, 1 month and 19 days (and almost 45 minutes)! Ha! I do still have my sense of humor, more twisted and perverted than before, but still have it. My brain function has decreased. My senses are dulled (especially the sense of smell and my hearing by choice). My dogs are still alive, but Shula has terrible skin because she continues to feed him what he is allergic to. The cat avoids her at all costs. My house is in disarray (partly because I am a slob) because we slung things around to make her a room. I have no closet, so my shoes reside permanently on the floor by my bed. I moved my treadmill to my den so that I can have therapy any time I need it. I have almost completed a 2 week stint with her, and the sitter returns Monday. I go back to work. I love my job. I am thankful that I have a job I love. I long to hear my students yell "MiPaaaaaaayne"! I can't wait to sign my name by January 3rd......Julie Payne 7:30. Life is good!!  
Happy New Year to you and yours!

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Breathing Deeply

I am back on my walking jag (treadmill only for now) so I am tolerating Mildred a little better than in past weeks. Just wanted to share a couple of funny things she did today.
I was putting up the dishes from the dishwasher. She said, "Those are my little pink saucers (they're bowls, but whatever). I said, "Yes they are!" She said, "Grace went to my house when I had to go somewhere and got some of my things to give out to her kids. 'Course, I don't care. I told her to take whatever her young'uns would have. She said she didn't get it all, just picked out a few things that she thought each one would want." Okay, Grace is her DEAD sister, and I brought the bowls home when we cleaned out her house. So, she may seem "with it" to you, but she's not really.
Later in the day, I got busy cleaning out, putting things up, and organizing. I have a pile of boxes, envelopes, and packing that I use for my "part time" ebay business. She said, "You gon throw those boxes away?" I told her that I was keeping them. (This is the abridged version because she drove me insane trying to help  me). When I came up the basement steps after I thought she had gone to bed, I saw her scoot out of the study where the boxes were. I walked into her room to find her hiding the shoe boxes under a pillow. I reached for them, and she said, "Please let me have those!" I asked why, and her response was, "I'm gonna check 'em out and see (mumble mumble) and put some stuff in them!" LORD! She makes me crazy being so greedy!
I said, "Okay you can have them, but STAY OUT OF MY THINGS!!!" She looked up so innocently and said, "Well honey, I don't bother your things". Sigh....................

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

MuMoma Ali

I left for 2 hours. Left my son in charge of Moma. Got a phone call. She punched Rebekah in the face (yes, with her fist) for calling me to tell on her.
It seems Moma wanted to save the scraps of her sandwich in a napkin. Christopher argued that she could not do that. Rebekah snuck up behind her and and snatched them away. That started the battle. She called Bek a bitch, and said she'd knock the shit out of her, and so on. She got so belligerent that she attempted to swing her cane at Rebekah. Rebekah took it from her. She fake cried. Rebekah picked up the phone to call me, and she got sucker punched. The battle raged on for 30 minutes. What was my son doing? Yes, the one I left in charge? Oh, he was laughing like a hyena.
I am growing 2 years older every week with this little princess. Maybe when I go back to school, and her routine returns, she will settle down. She better.

Monday, December 27, 2010

Lowlife Puke

Moma is in rare form. I hate her. These are just a few of the lovely things she has said today:

  • "I think I'll get me an old man and marry 'im. Reckon I could?"
  • (to the nurse) "Hey, when you come back, bring me a BIIIIIG box of Kleenex. I've asked and asked and nobody here will get me any. 'Course, they don't pay no 'tanechun (attention) to anything I say" 
  • "Julie, did you ever get me any dry panties? (After I retrieve them.....I guess I sighed...) Lowlife Puke! They don't cost you nothing!"
  • "Julie.....com'ere! Look at that tree. I has one big part at the bottom, but it branches off into 3 parts, like 3 trees! I ain't never seen one like that....have you?"
  • "When you go to the store, get us some Kleenex! And don't just get one little box! Get me a biiiiiiiiiiiig box to go in my room! (pause) Get one to go up here in the kitchen too! (because I want you blowing your nose in my kitchen?) Hey....get us one for down there (my den) too! Here?"
  • "I wish if it was gonna snow, it'd snow them big pretty flakes, not that fine little mist like it's a doing now. (not snowing or raining) And I don't want just a little, I want it to snow a LOT! (I reminded her that it had snowed 3 inches here) When? (I told her) How do YOU know?"
  • "Hey....I been intendin' to ask you....what kin are you to me?" (great) 
  • (looking at my '11 calendar where I marked her 98th birthday) "Two more years and I'll make it!" 
If I can trick someone into watching her, I'm going to my office and sit in silence.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Just plain HATEFUL!

Today has been exasperating! As usual for the day after Christmas, it is my goal to remove everything Christmas from my sight. Now, don't get me wrong. I am not a Scrooge, but I have one more week of Christmas vacation, and I want to enjoy it to the fullest! So, as I moved about the house working, Moma was on my heels talking. "Julie, you ought to pick that up. Somebody might step on it". "Hey, com'ere.....look it's snowing again". She wanted me to stop taking the tree down and go retrieve an umbrella that had blown off the step onto the patio. "It'll blow away! Reckon I can get it? JULIE.....it's a filling up with snow!!!" Long story short, she's bossed and yakked all day without a break.
Rebekah came in from her trip to Birmingham sick. She had been texting me, so I knew what to expect. Moma said, "What's wrong with her?" I told her that she was sick. I got up and made her a bed on the den sofa. Moma came in the room and said, "You put her in MY place". I said, "Moma! She is sick. You can sit in the chair." She mumbled, "If she's sick she needs to stay in the bed!" And then she staggered off to bed. Ugh.....the life of a princess must be tough.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Christmas 2010

Picture it. A warm fire, snowflakes falling big and soft, a friendly old tree decorated by all the ornaments my kids made and the ones I bought for them along with all the "teacher" ones I have received, hubby in his recliner and Moma on the sofa babbling like a precocious 4 year old. "Praise the Lord for the snow! Thank you Jesus!! Thank you Thank you!! Merry Christmas......Julie, I ain't never seen snow on Christmas day! Have you? This makes Christmas perfect! PERFECT! Thank you Jesus!!! Merry Merry Christmas.....(cough, hack, cough, hack, spit.....cough more, hack more, spit.....) Ain't we got no Kleenex?? I wish we had some? Ain't you got none in that cabinet?" Then she got on opening presents and when were we going to eat, and where were my kids.......Sigh....She bossed ("Let that dog out" "Get me some water" GET US SOME KLEENEX"), she hacked and spit, and she carried on like a child. But oh, what an improvement that was over what she did at my in-laws last night.
We arrived there first...and we are NEVER first. Kerry asked his mother where everybody was, and her response was that the other family members could not possibly be there before 5. He asked why she didn't tell us, that we had been rushing around...she said she had been rushing around too. So Moma began her rifling through all the candy dishes and trays, wrapping up candy and nuts in a napkin for her "stash". As we began fixing plates, I went to get Moma settled so I could fix her plate, and she pitched a fit because I had her sit in an odd chair pulled in to accommodate the crowd. She said, "I ain't settin' in that little chair..." I pushed her into the chair (before I killed her) She turned to me and said, "I don't need your help" I walked away....because that was a much better thing to do rather than smashing her face into the table.  I fixed her plate, and as usual, it did not have everything on it she wanted. I ignored her rather than throwing food at her. I sat her in between my in-laws as usual, so they can deal with her bossing and asking stupid questions. She wanted a bite of everything on the (hated) candy trays, and the cakes, and the pies....She's like a goldfish. You can feed her until she explodes. FINALLY, the opening of the presents began. Like always, we let the kids open first, then the adults move into the living room to open theirs. She had a tiny gift bag with socks in it, and of course, we all had several gifts to open. As suddenly as a car horn, she made this proclamation. "I want all of you to know that I appreciate ALL that you gave ME. And I hope YOU ALL got just what YOU WANTED!" It was so sarcastic, it dripped out of the smirk on her face. Rebekah and I immediately said, "MOMA!!" She would not shut-up. "Well, I want y'all to know....." We interrupted her with "SHUT UP". I was so embarrassed. My mother-in-law said, "Didn't she get her gifts?" As it turned out, one had been missed. They gave it to her, and yet she still rambled. "Don't I have a right to speak?" Kerry told her "NO!" and to shut-up. "They just don't want me talking" she said to my mother-in-law. OMG! I wanted to die. She has made her last trip to their house if I have a say in it.  She has totally sucked the JOY out of my Christmas. I can't wait to get the tree down.

Monday, December 20, 2010

I love Christmas

Christmas is one of those holidays that can bring out joy and sadness all at once. I just think it heightens all our senses. We see or hear about a sad situation and we want to rush to our banks or grocery stores and "fix" the problem. Christmas brings out the good in most people. There is a sweetness in the air. We love each other a little more than any other time of the year. Good will is at an all time high. We see things through the lens of mercy and grace, not me and mine. It is the one time of year when 95% of people (hey, I am optimistic) are thinking of someone else, instead of themselves. We remember loved ones who have gone on and our hearts are full. It truly is "the most wonderful time of the year". Well, unless Moma lives with you.
She has sucked out most of my Christmas joy this year with her rambling and nosing. You can depend on her hoarding food in her pockets at EVERY meal. She has broken ornaments, taken gifts out of gift bags, rearranged the gifts under the tree so that ALL the bows are smashed, opened candy that is NOT hers and anything on the counter that I intended to cook with is now opened (chocolate chips, pretzels, etc.) She rambles through every bag brought into the house. She asks the same questions about Christmas every day. "You gon have a big Christmas? It's just another day with me...." "Julie! Did you know that Christmas is _____?" "You gon cook Christmas dinner?" "Where y'all gon have Christmas dinner?" On and on and on....until I want to make huge signs to hang all over my house to answer those same questions! We had Christmas with my sister's family Saturday night and by Sunday, she had forgotten completely. SHE HAS GIFTS IN HER ROOM!!! I want to say how sweet it is to have her still with me at 97, and I want to do memorable things with her, and I really should like her, especially at this time of year, but I'll have to pass on all that because as stressful as this season is, she has sucked out all my joy and most of my life. Sigh....
On a funny note.....
My friend, Kelli, and I went shopping for Moma for Christmas. I was determined not to buy her the proverbial robe and gown. She needs clothes. We found great deals in the Petite Dept. at Belk's in the Gadsden Mall (Thanks Pam Washington). I bought her 4 jackets that she can wear with a few of her skirts that we don't have to pin up, and a new suit! I spent almost $100 but she needed them, and I knew she'd be thrilled. As we were getting in the car to leave, (if you know me, you know what to expect...) I said, "She better not die until she wears all of this at least once!" lol Not really mean, just  my sick sense of humor!
Merry Christmas!

Friday, December 10, 2010

Gimme a cookie

Moma has been a real monster for the last 48 hours. I mean, hateful, spiteful, argumentative, mean and nasty. Yesterday, I thought I could change her mood by giving her a cookie and some milk. She proceeded to feed it to the dog right in front of me. Needless to say, I blessed her out and sent her to her room. She called me a "damn liar" and stomped off mumbling under her breath. Within an hour, she was back, asking for a cookie. I told her "no" and gave her a glass of tea. After a rather heated discussion about how she won't mind and stop feeding the dogs, and how I'd let her have all the candy she wanted if she would, she continued calling me a "damn liar" and mocking me. She covered her ears and screamed "Shut-up!" over and over. I turned away from her a minute and when I turned back around she tossed a quarter at me and said, "Here! Gimme a cookie!" I did not care for her at that moment. Today has been no better. Ugh.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Poor Little Kerry

Every year on Thanksgiving, we say good-bye to Kerry because he begins working every night (well...almost) at Christmas at the Falls. Now, it is truly beautiful, and we know someone has to run it, but we (I) do miss him; HOWEVER Moma has totally gone overboard with it.
"Well, I feel sorry for Poor Little Kerry"
"I know he gets cold up there. Has he got a big overcoat?"
"Julie, what time will Kerry come home tonight?"
"Has he got to work again tonight? Bless his heart"
"Don't he get to come home for supper? Will he eat up there? I know they've got 2 or 3 good restaurants up there." (Really? Seriously?)
"He has the same job Milton had" (Ugh, no he does not. PawPaw was the gardener up there!)
Yes, I miss my sweetie during December, but this year, she is making me sick of hearing about "Poor Little Kerry" and his misery at the falls. Poor Little Kerry is leaving me at home with Crazy Little Moma.....now who do YOU feel sorry for?

Sunday, December 5, 2010

BCS

Exciting News! I am going to Glendale for the BCS Bowl. Now, I have to keep Moma alive until then. LOL Just kidding people..........................

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

This and That

Tuesday I left Moma in the capable hands of Kerry Payne and when I returned, her phone was missing. Kerry said she came to him and said that she couldn't find her phone. He said, "You don't have one" and she assured him that she had a little phone. Hmmm.....Let me check that AT&T bill.

She went to the beauty shop today thinking she was getting a perm. I instructed Connie to let her ONLY get a haircut as we can't afford a $72 perm right now (because she insists that she is buying some Christmas presents),  but when I got home she told me how much better she felt since Dinah gave her a "perm'nt" and didn't she do a good job? (She got NO perm) lol Okay....I like it! Since the princess was dressed up with a new "do", I took her out to eat and to church for Hanging of the Green. She talked out loud like I knew she would. The best things she said was "I ain't standing up again" (for hymn sing) and "Who's a doing all that talking?" (during testimonies) and loudly proclaiming "WELL I CAN'T HEAR NOTHING HE'S A SAYING!" (the pastor's narration of the Christmas story). Precious. But Praise God, she is worn out, in the bed and snoring like a big dog.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Game Shows

We have discovered a wonderful sitter! The Game Show Channel!!! You can sit Mildred in front of it and she'll watch game shows for HOURS! It doesn't matter that they are giving away Chevy Vegas or wearing colored pantyhose. She cannot hear anything but watches with her legs pulled up like a 4 year old watching Dora! It is precious. Thank God for channel 179! I just might get something done for Christmas without her help!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

A trip to the dentist

I had an appointment to get my teeth cleaned on Tuesday. I began getting Moma ready for this on Monday. I told her that we'd go eat lunch afterward if everything went well (in other words, if she was good), and that I would take her to run my errands because she loves to ride. So..........Tuesday morning, I went into her room and began laying out her clothes which woke her up and our day was off and running.
Tuesday was unseasonably warm and muggy, but nothing would do but she wear her BIG winter coat. We loaded up in the car, and the seat belt had fuzz on it from her prior ride (her pink housecoat sheds badly), so it ended up on her black coat. She started fussing..."What in the shit is all over my coat?" I knew immediately and got her the lint roller. She worked on it until we got to the dentist office. We got in and seated and she announced to the entire waiting room. "Where in the hell did I get this mess on my coat?" Nice. One girl laughed out loud, and another lady placed the book she was reading over her face. Precious. When they called me back, I started helping her up. She yelled out, "Why do I have to go?" Through gritted teeth, I said, "Because I cannot trust you out here by yourself, get up!" She entertained the hygienist and my dentist. They gave her a new tooth brush (why?) She was tickled. (Again, why?) We got up to leave, and the hygienist said that the receptionist had someone with her, could I wait in the waiting room to schedule my next appointment. I said that was fine, but Moma yelled out "Why in the cathair are we settin' back down? Ain't you through?"  Then she began berating all the furnishings. A black man came in and she is so free to use her racial terms, I decided to suggest that she go to the restroom while we wait. (And by the way Lady, I know you heard me say that to her, and I know you jumped up to beat her in there....you are just tacky!) When I got her settled in the bathroom, they called me back to the desk. I had her purse and mine. In just a minute, I heard "JULIE! HEY JULIE!!!" I sprinted to the bathroom door, just as her little head peered out and she declared, "I NEED SOME KOTEX!" The urge to kill her passed quickly, and I shoved her purse and her back into the bathroom. I told her that her diapers were in her purse and to HUSH! I went back and took care of business and swiftly got her out of there before she discovered the racial diversity in the room.
The rest of the day went pretty much like the first. She was inappropriate but most of that was for me only, as I kept her in the car for most of the rest of our adventure.
Later, I thought she'd be too tired to see the lights at the falls (employee preview night). But when Kerry called and told us to come on, she jumped up like a 10 year old and began dressing. She never ceases to amaze me. She absolutely loved the lights and didn't want to leave. 

Monday, November 22, 2010

Candy

Yeah, I jinxed myself with that last post. Too good to last. Last night, because she has been so sweet....I gave her two pieces of her (nasty) candy after supper. She took them and immediately wrapped them in a napkin. Kerry started saying "NO" to her, but I was trying to be sweet (because she had been) and said, "Let me put that up for you if you aren't going to eat it now." She started her usual argument that she was going to eat it in a minute. I won't go into that because it was so typical of us sparring for food. When I got ready to leave the table, I asked her if she had eaten all her candy. She started denying that she had anything and telling me that I "beat all she's ever seen" about her food. So, I let it go (my first mistake). In a little while after Kerry and I had left the kitchen, I saw the dogs on either side of her and Shula was chewing. She had saved a piece of candy for them. I went into "spazz" mode and started screaming at her and trying to get the candy away, yelling "What are you doing?" She smiled her sweet little smile and said, "feeding them some candy" She was pleased as punch. After my short sermonette on why Shula cannot have table food (gluten allergy), I demanded the candy. She refused, so I went KerryPayne on her and got the candy off the top of the refrigerator and started to throw it away. She began with a smart attitude "Go ahead, I don't care", then moved to the begging phase "Julie, please don't" to, finally, the threat of "You'll be sorry" so I threw it and the other 2 UNOPENED bags of candy into the trash, pulled out the bag, tied it in a knot and took it to the can outside (which was already on the street). I was sweating, out of breath, and  worn out when it was over but happy, feeling that I had "won". She went to her room, came out in less than 30 minutes in another personality. She was oblivious of my victory. Sigh...........

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Sunday

Not much to post. She has actually been a nice little grandmother (just with her usual irritations) so I am going to share a picture or two if it will let me.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Errands

It was a familiar scene from my childhood, only this time I was the driver and Moma the little girl in the passenger seat. I had errands to run, and after I rolled her hair, I loaded her into the car to go for a ride. She was so excited. I handed her a piece of Teaberry gum, just like she did me back in the 60's. I always thought it tasted just like wax lips. I miss all the wax I consumed when I was younger. I doubt there are any calories in it. Anyway....I digress. Moma buckled herself in and was tickled pink to get out. As we  rode down the road, she was knocking her skinny little legs together as I imagine I once did and picking up everything in my car as I KNOW I once did. She was so good, I stopped at Dollar General and bought her some coconut candy. But the story cannot end on a sweet note....she's already been in trouble for getting into the candy before supper, and for feeding it to my dogs. What a stinker!

Monday, November 15, 2010

While the Cats' Away......

I would love to report that while I was away Moma was perfect. HA! She was awful.....She told my friend, who so graciously stayed with her out of her devotion to me, that she looked like a tramp. She told me great niece to stop getting fat. She and Rebekah tied up from Saturday evening until I got home. I received this call:
Me: Hello?
Rebekah: Yes, Is this McGuffey's Nursing Home? Yes, I have a hateful old woman that someone needs to come pick up. She won't mind and she is trying to feed the dogs her supper.
Me: (ROFL)
Rebekah: Yes, I see. Can you pick her up today?
(Background: I ain't a going nowhere! I ain't going with nobody!!! You can't make me go!)
Rebekah: Okay, come and pick her up. I'll have her ready.
Me: Rebekah, are you upsetting her? (laughing)
(Background: They don't know my name. I ain't a going!)
Rebekah: Yes, her name is Mildred Hall
(Background: I'll tell 'em I'm somebody else when they get here)
Rebekah to Moma: Who are you going to say you are?
(Background: Just wait 'til they get here and you'll find out!)
Needless to say, Kerry and I were screaming after that phone call. Better her than me. LOVE IT!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Sweetness

Moma has been on a tear of NOT sleeping, or being still, or behaving. But today when I got home, I had a million things to do to get ready for my trip in the morning. I asked Moma if she wanted to go out in the yard and sit on the glider while I cleaned out the truck. She said she would (but didn't seem to enthused). We got out there and I got her settled on the glider, and this sweet rush of memories began to wash over me. She has always loved being outside. As I cleaned out the truck, she was cleaning leaves off the glider and the table in front of it. She seemed to enjoy sitting there, so when I finished I offered to walk her around in the yard. She jumped at the chance. When I was a little girl, she and I would walk around her house and she'd point out different types of flowers, trees and bushes. So as we walked, I'd show her different things in my yard, and my heart was full. For just a short inkling of time, she was my grandmother again. She held tight to me and I never wanted to pull away. God gave me the gift of spending just a moment with my Moma. She has been very docile this evening and not one tiny bit annoying. But I am leaving for Gatlinburg in the morning to celebrate 25 years of marriage to the love of my life. And I guess God knew that she and I both needed some sweetness. I know I'll be ready to kill her again soon, but I am thankful to God for little glimpses of the real Moma.
At this time, she is cleaning out her closet and giving everything she has away. She has offered me shoes, clothes, and now furniture. She is due a 4th trip in here to offer us something else of hers. She said there was no sense in her "piling up a carload of stuff she don't want or need". LOL I love it.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

*&^%$#

At the supper table
Me: Moma, I bought you a surprise at the grocery store today! But, if you fight me over the scraps you have in your lap, I am not giving it to you.
Moma: I don't give a damn
Enough said.

Monday, November 8, 2010

May be a Repeat

This may be a repeat of a previous post, but it is worth a repeat. Christopher and I were at the table the other day while Moma was "busy" nosing through everything on the counters, grunting. I told him that her rambling makes me the craziest of all the crap she does. He made the point that her bossing him drives him crazy. So we began making a list, out loud, while she stood behind us rambling and grunting. So here it is:
  • bossing (Hey! Let that dog out)
  • grunting (uh uh uh uh uh every time she breathes)
  • rambling and nosing through our things
  • moving and rearranging things (a little different from just rambling, but just as annoying)
  • when she says "I ain't never seen one like that"
  • letting the dog in and out, repeatedly
  • talking in her sleep (I ain't gone do it!)
  • lying (I ain't feeding that dog)
  • getting in the refrigerator (I'm a looking for my sandwich I put in here)
  • stealing (for example: she takes pictures out of my frames, she washes my cute little flower pots and puts them in her room, she even washed Christopher's ash tray and took it)
  • ASKING THE SAME STUPID QUESTION OVER AND OVER AND OVER
  • following everything I say with "What?" or "huh?"
  • getting on the kick of who handles her money and who pays her tithes
  • her dying act
  • NOT sleeping at night, walking the floors
  • the sound of the click of that dreaded cane
  • getting right down in your ear to say something "cute"
  • feeding the dogs
  • always thinking today is Sunday
  • abusing the ice dispenser on the refrigerator door
  • when she asks you for something, if you do not respond immediately, she attempts it on her own
  • being nasty (no details, but you can imagine the millions of ways this occurs)
  • using and over-using paper products
  • obsessing over things
The list could go on and on, but we finally quit when the food she got out of the trash can had to be wrestled out of her hands and thrown away. Whew....that felt good. 

Saturday, November 6, 2010

BaHaHaHa!

Last night at supper, Kerry was putting pizza on his plate and Moma said, "Kerry.....how old are you?" He turned and said, "Well, how old do you think I am?" She said, "Well, I know you are in your 60's". At this point, I  had to leave the table because I was spitting food out laughing so hard. She kept asking him what Christopher and I were laughing at. He was at a loss for words, but he did threaten to slap the *&^% out of her under his breath, and tell us it was not that funny. Then, she said, "Ain't you about 62?" I had drink and pizza coming out of my nose. It was great! I was screaming!! He said, "How old do you think she is?" Moma said, "50 something". I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, October 31, 2010

A Quick Funny

Don't have time to post but a quick funny....Moma has been sneaking around the Halloween candy for days. She sneaked her out a couple of pieces and like we do our children sometimes, I let her, knowing what the outcome would be. She started unwrapping it at the lunch table after being a real smarty about lunch. The look on her face when she stuck that GREEN APPLE Jolly Rancher in her mouth was priceless. I'd love to share it with you but I don't think my face will contort like that. ROFL!!!! Just a tiny piece of justice. Love it.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Long Weekend

Kerry and Christopher left for Panama City yesterday for some softball something or other. They will be home Sunday evening. I knew it was going to be a long weekend, so I asked my sister if she would sit with Moma Friday night and let me get out. I wanted to go to my friend's Birthday Celebration (4 years AA! So proud of you!) She was good and slept all night (so far as I know). I went to bed at 9p and finally got out of the bed this morning at 10a. lol Of course, Moma woke me up 3 times but I kept going back to bed.
Moma was a little feeble early in the day, but was good for the most part. She got up from the lunch table and all but demanded I get the rollers and do her hair. Unlike many women, I LOVE college foot ball and was watching GA and FLA and really didn't want to do hair. So, I went to the bathroom and got the curling iron thinking, I'll get this over with quick! LORD!!! It's like trying to style a monkey's hair. She turns her head and moves around so much if I was cutting it, she'd be bald. I burned her a couple of times (not on purpose, I swear) because she would not be still and hold her head like I had it. After I styled it she looked in the mirror and said, "Next time I'd prefer the rollers". Ugh.....
After supper, she proclaimed that she was going to bed. (HA) I gave her the "night night" medicine, hoping she really would. She literally opened her door and came out of her room 6 times in a row. It was like a child fighting sleep. I had opened up a "project" and had it spread out on the kitchen table. I just put it up and decided to do that little project at school. She went back to her room, and I went to the basement to do laundry. Like clockwork, I heard her cane on the floor over my head. She was up!  Ugh! Then, she went back to bed and I made a dash for the bathroom  to get my bath. I had no sooner soaped up when I heard her door open. She was up! I hurried and got out to find her rambling through the refrigerator. She had a bag of pecans with one hand jammed all the way in up to her elbow! I snatched the bag from her, ready to rip her head off, and she looked up at me and said, "Please can I have something to eat?" Like a freaking homeless person. I guess I am paying for her good behavior and my little outing last night. I may double dose her night time meds!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

NO NO NO

Today is NOT Sunday!! So therefore, tomorrow is NOT Monday. 
Thank you

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Flu Shot

Today Moma got a flu shot. As big of a wuss as she is, you would think she would scream. She never knew when the nurse stuck her.But she has made up for it. She's been dying since about 3:00 "Somethin's wrong" "Reckon what it is" "Can the doctor give you somethin'?" I asked her to explain what it was, her answer? "I can't express myself" LOL You'd think she was born with a silver spoon in her mouth. Can't express herself! She didn't have any trouble expressing her feelings for me Sunday.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Monday Blues

Teacher Inservice....sigh
Card night......sigh
Kids both gone.....sigh
Pray I don't kill her. She is busy. She has asked a million questions. She is being ugly. And I have no resources to deal with her insanity tonight.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Happy 100th Birthday Alabama City Church of God

Today, Moma's church celebrated their 100th birthday. There was to be a big hoo-rah and they wanted the Precious Princess in attendance since she is their oldest living member. I tried not to mention anything about this to her because she tends to drive me crazy about stuff. So, late yesterday afternoon, I told her that I was going to roll her hair for church. She was so excited! All she talked about was going to church. Sherry came by and she told Sherry that she was going to church! She asked me like 25 times if I would wake her up and make sure she got dressed. I was singing "Beauty School Drop-out" when I was combing her out (because I am one and she was so happy I felt like singing). Life was good.
This morning, I woke her at 8:00. She claimed she could not get up and eat her breakfast. I tried to pull her up and she slammed herself back down in the bed. I sat her up and she fell over to the other side. I handed her her house shoes, she kicked them across the room. It was like waking a sleepy child (or teenager). She finally moved around enough, I guess, that she had awakened her bladder. So she had to get on her pot. I went back to finish her breakfast thinking she was coming on to the kitchen. She never did, so when I went to check on her, I found her covered up to her neck sound asleep. I pulled back the covers, sat her up and she grabbed the covers and pulled them up and fell back down into her pillow. I finally got her up and to the breakfast table. She moaned and groaned all through her oatmeal and coffee. She called Jesus for help, and kept raising her hands like she was in church. She finally finished eating and I almost never got the pills down her. She said, "Julie, I can't go to church. I've got to go back to bed". But she continued to moan and call on Jesus....so  I got up to help her. She went back to sleep until I woke her up about 9:15. It was the same scenario, but this time, she flat refused to get up. I talked to her until I was blue in the face. I reminded her about the church's celebration, and the pastor's insistence that she was there to no avail. She began flapping her arms and mumbling non-sense while shaking her head no. I walked out, and left to go to MY church.
When I came home, Kerry informed me that she was mad at me. He said she made a grand entrance in the den fully dressed ready for church at 11:00! Church started at 10:30. She ranted and raved and he sent her back to her room. When I went down there, she was in the bed with her clothes on. Since she was dressed, I offered to take her out to eat to be nice (see, I have good intentions).
Off we go to Applebees. I will not go into all the stuff she did in there, because if you are a follower, you know. So embarrassing....
But when we got home, all I could think about was a nap. Thinking she'd do the same, I changed clothes and started making ready for my nap. After 3 phone calls (2 ignored, 1 answered) I began the dizzy dozy feeling...ahhh, bliss. And then I heard the click. CRAP!!!!
Now, I know this is a long post so to shorten it a bit, I'll hit the highlights. She was a busy little beaver...IN TO EVERYTHING!!! She rambled and yakked like a 5 year old. But here are the highlights:
  • After a fight over feeding the dogs, she said, "Julie....I've seen some crazy people in this world, but you've got 'em all beat!" 
  • She called me a "damn bitch" again over feeding the dogs.
  • Opened the french doors and leaned down the steps to pick dead leaves off my plant (no rail).
  • Stood behind me in my chair and scratched the top of my head with her finger, and when I looked up, she just grinned and did one of her little smart a** laughs.
  • During the food fight, she told me that if she couldn't feed the dogs, she'd feed the chickens out there. I told her that we didn't have chickens. She said, in her smarty pants voice, "I know we don't, but the neighbors do" (NOT)
  • There is not one thing in my house that she hasn't run her fingers over.
Please pray that I don't kill her tonight. This will be funny tomorrow. Tonight....it ain't.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Saturday

Today I am sad for my cyber-friend, Ashley, she lost her grandfather. Her mom was in my situation being a caregiver to a dependent independent elderly person. Ashley made a great point on her recent blog about her grandfather. She observed that making them aware that they are dependent on us for the basics of life, is not doing anything but making us crazy and disrespecting them. I know that I never think of myself as a 51 year old woman. I think of myself as a 30-something strong-willed, super woman, who can do anything she sets her mind to. So I imagine it is the same way with elderly people, especially those who are mentally challenged due to dementia. Her grandfather, like my strong-willed grandmother, did not think about himself as a weakling who depended on his child (or in my case grandchild) for life. Ashley made me re-think my attitude. I know that I will still go crazy with her and want to kill her from time to time, but at least I am aware that she thinks about herself as someone who is able to do anything. Thanks Ashley.....you are wise beyond your years!

Monday, October 18, 2010

Uppercut?

No, I did not uppercut Moma's chin. She bumped into something or ???? She has a massive bruise on her mouth/chin. She never screamed once (and she always screams when she hits herself)! Who knows??

She has been quiet tonight, but I don't want to jinx it, so that is all....:)

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Okay, back to me

Today has been a day from Hades! After a GREAT morning at the BEST middle school in Gadsden, I took a half day to get a massage for ME! Got to Gadsden State, they had canceled it and left me a message (never got it). NICE! Then, I took that in stride, and headed to the AT&T store to upgrade my phone since it has a mind of its own and turns off and on at will. But NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, can't do that until Feb. 8th. NICE! Had to go to Wal-Mart and buy me one of those tacky little Go phones and put my sim card in it. Again, NICE! Decided I had better go on home since my luck was running short. And Moma was on one of her dying campaigns. Then when I got her settled down, the nurse came by to stir her up again. I turned up the baby monitor and hear a pack of the best lies I have ever heard. Moma told that nurse that she had begged to get her hair done and nobody would do it for her. Then that she was NEVER dizzy. I had to intervene. When the nurse left, she had a sudden attack of diarrhea of the mouth. She did not shut up for 2 hours. She is in bed for now. I am seriously considering alcohol therapy.

Monday, October 11, 2010

IF I DON'T KILL HER TONIGHT, I NEVER WILL!

Yes, I know I say that a lot! Here...walk in my shoes.

Don't get me wrong. I don't care what she eats or how much she eats. I do not want her to feed it to my dogs. But....come on. Since supper tonight, she has been up 4 times with more to come I'm sure. She's had ice cream, oreos, milk, pudding, and Tylenol. Now, I gave her Trazadone at supper so it would be working by MY bedtime, but just now, I gave her a little Tylenol PM to boost it. It would be different if she were sitting in the den and wanted a snack, but she gets my hopes up and declares that she feels sooo bad that she is going to bed. Then she appears in that door whining my name. And I have to get up and go into the kitchen RIGHT THEN! or she will just help herself. And that makes me want to hurt her. I am dealing with a couple of physical things right now, and in NO MOOD to put up with a 4 year old. She has interrupted my TV and Facebook time tonight! lol

Ugh....

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Let's Be Friends

At the supper table last night-
Moma: Kerry....why are you lettin' your whiskers grow? Are you a growin' a beard (pronounced beeer-d)?
Kerry: Yeah
Moma: (looks at me) Julie....do you like that?
Me: No m'am
Momaw: You're such a purty man, don't cover up yore face with all that hair. Why don't you shave?
(We are grinning)
Momaw: Julie....do you mind me sayin' that?
Me: No, why?
Momaw: Well, I know he ain't my man, but he's my friend. You don't mind us being friends, do you?
(It's all we can do not to fall out of our chairs laughing!) She asked Kerry for more tea.....
Me: Pour your friend some tea!
Kerry: Shut-up!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Last night

Mr. Payne came home yesterday about 5:30ish. I was napping in my chair, and Moma had gone back to her room at some point during my nap. She hates for me to nap. We chatted while he unpacked and brought in his things. She didn't get up until supper. She barely ate before she headed back to bed. All was quiet on the home front until about 2 am. Kerry woke me up and said, "Go see what your crazy grandmother is doing". She woke him up whacking her cane on the door of her room hollering "HEY". I got to her room to find her sitting in her bath chair, looking like the cat who swallowed the canary. As I entered her room, I saw her blankets and sheets strewn all over the floor. Her pillows were bare. She had stripped off the pillow cases. I said, "What in the world?? Why did you do this?" She looked like a 4 year old. "I didn't do that! Some womern came in here and pulled all them off and said, 'Now you fix 'em'". I was re-making her bed at 2 am. The urge to kill is at an all time, scary, high.

And again...

Once again, I waited to post until a day after the most recent motive for murder, however, she pulled another stunt last night, so I'll have to post lest I forget.
Tuesday evening, our last with Mr. Payne out of town, was fairly quiet. I got in from my middle school game around 7:15. Moma had been fed and was in the bed. Son said she had been okay, not too bad. Yes! I thought to myself. I can watch Glee with no interruptions. WRONG! It's as if she has radar....she got up when she realized that I was home. She wanted something to eat and/or drink (in other words, she was bored), so I fixed her one of her little "bottles" and gave her a cookie. She went back to bed. I didn't give her  night meds (stupid) because I was being positive, hoping for the best. About 3:15, I awoke to her wailing and coming after me. "Julie...Julie....somethin's wrong! I'm a dyin'!" She was gagging and coughing and hacking up well, nothing basically, but trying to. She began hollering about her chest "a hurtin". I went to the kitchen and got her 2 Tylenol. She was gasping...."I can't swallow"....."I'm a dyin'" I snatched her water off the table, shoved it into her hand and growled through gritted teeth, "TAKE THIS TYLENOL NOW!" I am not happy when I get awakened, especially by total nonsense. I went back to bed (Stupid). The next thing I knew, she was in my room weeping and wailing about her dying, and something bad being wrong, and call the doctor.....blah blah blah. I finally just got up to ride out the storm in her room. I went to the kitchen to get (arsenic? no) her a Pepsid and as a last thought, grabbed 2 Melatonin.  This time, she opened her mouth with NO arguments. But it didn't help. She cried, she hollered, she prayed, she flipped and flopped, she got in the floor (6 times, and one time crawled). She kicked her legs in the air, she stomped the floor, and once she was slinging her body around on that futon, she hit her hand and another time her head on the table by her head and cried like a 4 year old. This went on until 6:00. I lied one time and told her I called Dr. Robinson and he wanted her to take this pill (yep, this time you are right...one of my Percosets from my surgery) At 6:00, she was asleep like a little innocent baby!
I'll post last night's adventure later this evening. Check back....it's a doozy.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Cooling off period

I could not post anything until I cooled off lest my pastor be called to me. OMG! Kerry goes out of town, and Mildred loses her mind. I think she has it in her mind that he is gone and she can push me around. And she is basically correct. She wants to eat every hour. She forgets that she has eaten. She has a tape worm so large, I plan to name him. Stay tuned for that.
All weekend, she ate and ate and ate and ate and ate....well, you get the idea. There was no filling her up. She HATES pizza and plainly let Cheryl know that when she so GRACIOUSLY sat with the Princess on Saturday night, but when Christopher put a frozen pizza in the oven Sunday evening.....nothing would do but that she have not one, not two, but THREE pieces of his pizza. It was NOT that he wanted the whole thing, but she HATES pizza. She promptly went to bed at 6:30, but I knew she wouldn't stay. She got up for more at 8:30, 9:30, 10:30, 11:15, 1:30ish, 2:30ish, 3:30ish. I finally told her that if she got up again, I would KILL her. I went to bed and tried to figure out what to do with the body until daylight.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Crazy Cane

Okay, if you know me, you know that on Thursday nights during Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice I do not take phone calls or any other interruptions. My family knows not to ask ANYTHING of me. But little Mildred....she is another story. Right in the middle of Greys, she came in to ask for ice cream. I gave her a small bowl. She went back to bed. Then during Private Practice, she came back in wanting another bowl of ice cream. Kerry told her no. It is easier for me to just give her what she wants (and growl about it), than try to argue with her. Mr. Payne had his mind made up that she was not going to get anything else to eat. I was caught in the middle. She started back to the kitchen. I knew where she was headed. Sure enough, I found her rambling through my refrigerator. I was so angry, I grabbed her little arm and jerked her out of that refrigerator. She had a piece of cheese in her hand. I reached for the chocolate milk to give her and yelled at her to sit down. When I turned around, she was shaking and jerking like a raving Mr. Magoo. She had that cane drawn back and let me know that she'd knock the hell out of me. I was so mad, I grabbed the cane and threw it into the den out of her reach.I can laugh now. It was not funny then.
Today she had one of her dying spells.It was a good one too. She asked God to take her home. And I seconded it!

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Tired

This afternoon, I decided to lie down and take a quick nap before Mr. Payne came home. Moma was in her room, and Christo was on my laptop. I just got settled down, when I heard her door open. She made more than one trip past me, whacking me with that %&@# cane and yelling, "You won't sleep at all tonight if you don't get up!" Whatever...I finally got up.
I am so tired. Her dying spells are getting to more dramatic (exhausting...for ME), she is becoming more and more demanding. If she has a good day, then she hunts a fight all night. If she has a bad day....she is bad all night. She asks 10 times more questions than this time last year, and the answers are ALL followed by "Huh?" or "What?" Repeat everything you say just one time for an hour, and see how tired you become. So, I speak very little. I'm getting really good with body language.
If you are a praying person, I covet your prayers at this juncture in my life. I am under so much stress. There are just too many demands placed on me from all directions. I do not like myself right now because I am really not handling things with laughter like I used to. Pray for the anger and resentment to subside and for the sense of humor and laughter to return.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Typical Saturday

I went to bed last night at 9:15. I did not get enough sleep with all the acts from the 3 ring circus that I live in. I am considering selling cotton candy and popcorn. At least I can make a profit off the people under this big top. Of course, they'd ask me for the money.....sigh.
Bright and early, Mildred was up stomping through the house. Clickity clack clickity clack. Then she poked me with the cane while I was semi-conscious. Kerry yelled at her. She wanted something to eat. What else? I ignored while he marched her back to her room with her kicking and screaming that she was not going back to bed. Ugh!
When I did get up to fix her breakfast, she was sitting sideways in the wingback chair, legs dangling over the side and head propped up on the other. If you didn't know her, you might think, HOW CUTE!
Not cute.
After she ate and begged a piece of my Poptart, she went back to bed. Precious. Wish I could.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Stranger things have happened

This week has brought about some strange happenings. Moma has had so many personalities that I need a roster to keep up. Luckily, tonight, as I write, she is a very nice little old lady who is not really that feeble, just cannot remember that today is FRIDAY! (which makes tomorrow Saturday). She did not try to feed the dogs or wrap up food to stash in her pocket. She wasn't nasty about what she ate. She did not spit over my dishes in the kitchen sink either. She promptly got up and went to bed. We'll see how long that lasts.
But as for the previous days......Late yesterday afternoon, she had a dying spell to end all dying spells. Christopher said she was sitting in the den with him hollering and raising her hands to ?God?people? She was doing that war cry of "Help me, Jesus! Help me. Somebody help me". He was on the laptop and watching TV basically ignoring her. She got up and laid down in the floor hollering and carrying on. He calmly walked over to her, stood over her and said, "What are you doing?" She claimed she couldn't get up, so naturally, he did help her. Another day, she raised her cane at Connie, the sitter, and threatened to "knock the shit out of her". Connie left early that day. I think Moma gets the best of her some days. She has been more than ugly to the sitter all week. But! one day about lunch time, she and Connie were sitting in the living room talking. Connie was actually keeping her occupied so Christopher could eat in peace. He said he overheard Moma tell Connie that she was going to find her a man so she could move out of here. I love it! And I wish her luck. Tonight, I am opening her an account on eHarmony. Wish ME luck. :) Later......

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Ensure

She's lost another pound. We are back on Ensure. I dread it too. Remember how awful she used to act about "them little bottles"? UGH!

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Update

I know I need to post an update.....but I am just lazy! Okay, I'll try!
 It's really hard to know which Moma is going to be with you from hour to hour. Her personality changes so often now. She may wake up sweet, go back to bed, and wake up nasty, or lost, or dying. The oxygen thing is not really that big of a deal. Even though the doctor ordered it for 24/7 (and that ain't happening),I don't think she really needs it. She improved after he took her off that 2nd bp med and that got out of her system. She is still a little feeble moving around, but she manages fairly well. She still eats all the time. She is passing away a little more every day, but she is still difficult.
I really have nothing else to report!

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Hunting a Fight

She's hunting a fight tonight....and she just might find one!!!

Monday, September 13, 2010

Billy Goat Gruff

 I know I reported that Saturday was a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day, and Sunday was better, but today......today she is just being a turd for  meanness. She argues about everything, and while I was on the phone screamed "What's today? HEY! What's today? HEY!!!!" I said, "I am on the phone, can you wait just a minute?" She mouthed at me "Sunday? Is it Saturday?? Yeah, it's Saturday" in a very sarcastic smirky tone. She purposely fed both dogs after I told her to stop, then mocked me like a 4 year old. She hollered "Gimme something to drink" when her cup was empty. I wanted to slap her hand. She insisted on putting so much butter on her baked potato I could not even see the potato. It was smothered in butter. She popped a popcorn shrimp in her mouth, chewed once or twice, then spit it out. She did not swallow one single piece of shrimp. Finally, she got up and announced, "I'm going to bed....I know you don't care. You don't care one bit. I know you want me out of your face". I said, "Well, you are being ugly, so yeah, I do" She leaned all the way across the table and said in her smarty pants voice, "Forgive me". (Forgive me for wanting to shove you down the steps).
I'm out of control. Someone needs to stop me. lol

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Not nice....

This is not a nice post. I am not happy. I am ill as a hornet! Mad as an old wet hen. HOT! Do I need medication? Probably. If I had weapons....it'd be ugly.
First thing this morning, I awoke to the click click of that infernal cane. She was nosing around in my study; something I hate! She piddled around until I finally got up. She then, after waking me up, went to the den to read the paper, while she figured I was fixing her breakfast. I took my time. I hate her today. Today she is an intrusion into the life that I miss. I called her to eat. Every Saturday, I make sure she is settled into her meal before I pour the milk on my cereal. And every Saturday, without fail, as soon as I think I am safe and pour that milk, "Would you......" NEVER FAILS. I hate soggy cereal. Today, I just poured it out. I was so ill. And of course, when I am being ugly....everything I touch turns to a big pile of sh*t. I turned her glass of water over. Nice.....
She had no sooner left the table for her typical after-breakfast-nap when she had a revelation. She had no diapers. I think she is making pillows out of them. She goes through more than a pack a week now. She came with her panic in tow. "Julie.....I need some drawers". I pulled one out of my emergency stash. She took it and went back to her room. I had about 30 minutes of peace. She woke up in another panic. "I ain't got no panties! I used those you gave me!" So I went to my stash and pulled out 2. "This should do you until I run to the store in a little while". Her response..."Thank ye". Within minutes, she was on to another major panic. "Julie, you got anything to make your bowels move?" UGH....I hate this one. "Moma, I gave you something at breakfast, give it time to work". She went back to her room and laid down. I might have gotten 30 minutes again, when she burst into the den in a nervous jerk. "Julie.....Julie......(puts her hand on my shoulder and I smell it) I'm in a mess. I've got my tail to bleedin'" I jumped up and pushed her hand off my shoulder! I screamed a few obscenities at her, and made her get to the bathroom to scrub her hands. The whole time she is washing her hands, I am screaming like a maniac at her. (I hate that digging) When she cleaned up, I got her a suppository. I made her use it and re-wash her hands. I walked away. She followed. "Julie....please give me something....help me hon..." I spun around and spouted " I gave you medicine at breakfast, I just gave you a suppository! That is all I can do for now!" She nodded as if she understood. She pulled out a kitchen chair and sat down, with that usual taking on. "Lord help me. Help me Jesus!" I ignored her. I went about putting up dishes and other things, but she caught my eye. "Julie.....hon, give me something" She realized that I was about to rip her little head off. "...to eat", she finished. I gave her 2 pieces of her coconut candy (gag). She said, "No lunch?" It was 10:15. By now, you are understanding that today has not been good, at all.
It has been one catastrophe after another. She has been in panic mode all day. She has eaten at least one of everything in the house, and had major emotional issues between her snacks. "Someone has stolen my Kleenex" and "I can't find my little change purse" are among the latest. I had planned to load her up in the truck and take her to Sonic for supper and an ice cream, but while I was napping......a nameless family member took my truck without even having the courtesy to tell me. So, we had nasty scrambled eggs. The son left early in the afternoon, the daughter breezed by with one of her friends. My sister called and offered to come stay awhile, but hmm....no make-up, no bath, glasses-no contacts, and a big ole fever blister.....no thanks....I'll just wallow in my misery, thanks. So, I told you this was not a nice post. I am not particularly fond of anyone at the moment. Yes, tomorrow is another day....and I'll be fine.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Crack House

If this ain't a crack house, it ought to be. Either I need it or Moma does. In fact, after this afternoon, I am wondering if she didn't smoke her some while I was at school today. Let me explain....
When I got in this afternoon, Moma was dead asleep, with the oxygen on. Connie said she had had a good day, but felt bad and went to bed. She told me that she was sleeping really good. Ha! I fell for it. Connie had no sooner backed out of the driveway when I heard the cane clicking. "Julie....come show me how to turn that ole thang off (oxygen). I've tried and tried and I can't get the thang to turn off." Great....She's been turning knobs and switches on her concentrator. She soon started taking on about how bad her tail hurt, and somethings wrong with her, and her head feels crazy. I let her go on....I was tired....a little sleepy, and a LOT ill. Seems like the older I get, the less I want to talk or maybe I am tired of repeating everything I say and screaming everything I say. I admit..I dozed off in the recliner, and she must have gotten up (and done God knows what). She came back into the den, and sat on the couch. "Did you wake up?" she asked. "Sit up and talk to me!" She talked and talked until I wanted to just scream. Kerry came home, and got in his recliner, and began to doze. She got very loud and very busy talking. Kerry said, "Is she on drugs?" Then my sister called, and inquired about her. I said, "Oh she is fine as wine". Sherry said, "Well, I can tell a big difference since we have taken her off that A____ (bp med, can't spell it)" Well apparently then, she is back to her old self. She probably doesn't need the oxygen anymore. But somebody is going to be drugged. Her or me.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Better Day

She had a better day today. She refused her oxygen early this morning, but after her nap, kept it on for over 2 hours. She has been chewing the same piece of gum since yesterday. I love how she takes it out to eat and puts it on a napkin. Then pulls the paper off of it, and puts it back in her mouth. lol Like there will never be any more gum!! lol
I made the mistake of mentioning that Sherry had not done her medicines yet, and was coming by later on tonight to do them. So, now she is on the tangent of "Julie....reckon Sherry decided not to come?" "Have you called her?" " I wonder when Sherry will get here" Good Lord.....
Kerry just sent her to bed. Wonder how long she'll stay.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Things are nasty!

Nasty things are happening. I can't imagine what it must be like from her perspective. She is having a little diarrhea or lack of muscle control, and then there are the giant hemorrhoids. There is also something hanging out that should not be.
Hospice made their demands today. Smoke detectors must be re-hung (took down to place in a more suitable place). They want her in a hospital bed. Nurse thinks she has skin break-down on her hiney, but I disagree. I think it is her psoriasis. I am too tired to make any decisions today.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Update from this morning

She had oxygen for about an hour and a half this morning...enough to make her totally annoying and irritating today. lol She's been a bit of a busy tail. But the very worst thing she is doing.....I hesitate to tell this. It is gross. If your stomach is weak, click the X. Today she has been digging in her bottom, pulling out turds like a chimp. Cleaning that up is NOT a pleasant affair.

Strange

It is so strange. Moma wakes up like normal (for her) but by the time she eats breakfast, she is dying. She is not sleeping with oxygen, so I don't get it. This morning she moaned all through breakfast after waking me up with a smile wanting breakfast.  Strange. She carried on about how bad her head hurt. I got up and got her some Tylenol, put it on her napkin and she said, "What's that for?" I said, "for your headache". She looked puzzled and said, "Well, hon, I thank you, but my head ain't a hurtin' today."
I'm sure there will be more to report, so stay tuned.
Happy Labor Day!

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Good Day

I came home from church to find Moma sprawled out on her bed turned the wrong way hollering about hurting. I sat her up, put on her oxygen for about 30 minutes, and the rest of the day, she was good. She napped and ate (which is typical). Amazing what good a little oxygen to the brain will do.

After supper, she asked for something to make her "go". So, it may be a long night. Film at 11 (well, that would be just wrong....so, I'll just say another report tomorrow).

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Oxygen

We have found oxygen to be good. It seems to clear her up miraculously. She can get even just 30 minutes worth and be almost new (well, new for her). She got up this morning at 8:30 stomping through the house, all smiles. I got up and fixed her breakfast, thinking she was doing well, but as soon as she ate.....she began taking on like someone had a knife in her back. She'd close her eyes and wince. Then cry out. And the carrying on began. "Oh Lord.....help me. Help me Jesus!" One of my personal favorites is "Jesus??" Like he isn't listening. I tried to get her up to go get her oxygen, but she kept drinking coffee and hollering. Finally, rather impatiently (me?), I said, "Do you want to feel better or had you rather sit there and holler?" She finally got up. She has had her oxygen going for about 20 minutes now, and all is quiet.

Friday, September 3, 2010

She's bad

I came home from school yesterday and the sitter met me at the door. "She's bad" she said, with a worried look on her face. I quickly came in the house, put down my things, and went to her room. The sitter told me that she ate breakfast, had that hurting in her chest that she complained about last weekend, and laid in the bed hollering. She finally slept a bit, restlessly. At lunch time, she could not walk, nor sit up. She fed Moma her breakfast in the bed. She had not been good the rest of the afternoon. When I went in her room, she was lethargic. I roused her, but she could barely open her eyes, her speech was slurred and she couldn't focus on me. I took her pulse....44. I finally sent Connie home, and sat with Moma for a bit. She tried to talk to me, but she was fading. I called my sister to come by on her way home. I took her pulse again. This time between 36-39. Sherry called and offered to go by my aunt's house and borrow her blood pressure cuff. She got here finally, and began evaluating her. By this time, Moma could talk a little better, and her eyes were open more. Sherry took her blood pressure and it was 106/60, pulse still 36ish. We decided to get the medics to come check her out. We didn't want them to come with lights and sirens blaring, so I called my dear friend, Cheryl, for a favor. She arranged to have them come unofficially. They got here, and of course, as usual, she began to perform for her audience. She was fully awake and just as flirty and cute, as usual, like NOTHING was wrong. The medics were concerned because her blood pressure was 150/30, her pulse 37, and her Oxygen level (O2Sat) was 86 (and they say anything below 96 is bad). So we called the doctor, and he gave Sherry new orders about meds and offered home oxygen. She was very weak the rest of the night.
Today's update is, oxygen was brought out, she hates it, but it makes a big difference in her alertness. And hospice was ordered as well. It will begin Wednesday. This is very sobering.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Looking back

Just a flashback memory....
One of my favorite things to do with Moma was bake or make fudge. And then that salmonella scare made people afraid to lick the cake batter. My mother refused me to even taste it. But when I went to Moma's......I licked the spatula, the spoon, the bowl, and she always left me enough to make me puke! She has NEVER followed rules. I used to love that, but now....not so amusing.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Lost her drawers

Today, as has been the norm for about 5 days, Moma was dying off and on all day. But about 12:30, I heard her walking through the house, and then sit down in a kitchen chair. I was in my room folding sheets. I heard this crazy laugh.....and "Hooooo Haaaaa" and so on. I walked toward the door, and she saw me and said, "Julie...come'ere" I walked in there and she started laughing again. I said, "What is it?" She said, "I've lost my drawers....and I can't find them!! (more laughter) I AIN'T GOT NONE ON!!!!!" And she began this psychotic laugh! I had to drag her to her room, telling her to put some on...."I ain't gone do it!" she said. I had to lie her back and put them on her and then make her sit up and pull them up. Not sure where that came from.

Trazadone?

I think I have this thing figured out. I looked up the Trazadone on the infamous Internet last night, and VOILA! Side effects include stomach pain. We have just recently begun giving it on a regular basis since she is no longer affected by Tylenol PM. AND....there is a drug interaction with Digoxin, which she takes. So.....I'm thinking, no more Trazadone. I clued my sister in and she is doing extensive research with her nurses at GRMC Home Health and Hospice.
I am getting better at being more observant on things like that, but I don't really want to be. I don't like medical stuff at all! You know sick people make me retreat to the hills. (Which is why I hate being sick, running from myself is work)

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Day 4, chapter 16 of this continuing saga

Moma is up to about 4 dying spells a day now. But I think I have it figured out. She is either having major reflux problems, has another ulcer, or gall bladder troubles! So I am dosing her with Mylanta and Pepsid. Nothing exciting! More to come.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Irritated

Let's just say that I feel awful......and she is irritating. Enough said.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Matinee

At the present, Moma is performing a matinee of her latest dying act. I am sure there will be at least one more performance this evening (or early morning). She has "lost everything she ever had" and she "wants her money NOW". All this along with "Help me, Jesus.....help me" every other breath. A while ago, I heard her say (from the baby monitor) "You stay in here and watch my purse, and I'm going to find my sash". She came down to the kitchen where I was cleaning up from supper and she said, "Hey.....what's next?" Clever. Caught me off guard. I looked at her and said, "What do you mean?" She said, "Well, what are we supposed to do next?" My answer..."Go to bed".

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Dying spell to end all dying spells....

No play by play details, I feel too bad. Got some sort of CRUD. Sore throat, LOTS of drainage, earache, and feel awful, but just know that if she has another dying spell like she did last night (or should I say this morning?), there won't be another one because I may stuff her pillow into her little toothless mouth and duct tape her body to the futon. It was truly an award winning performance.
Of course, today, she woke up like a spring chicken ....no aches, no pains, nothing. Ugh...

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Rested

I am so rested. Spent the weekend with my long-time friend in Nashville. Believe it or not, this time last night (10:12 pm) we were just leaving the restaurant. I never eat supper that late, but we got a late start because I took a LONG nap! I normally nap (when I can, which is rare) with my earrings on so that I never really get comfortable, so I won't sleep long. But when I heard the first clap of thunder, I sat straight up in bed and took off my earrings, pulled up the covers and it was over. Four hours later.....we were scampering to get ready to go eat.
However, I came home to CRAZY! C-R-A-Z-Y....no joke. She is nutty as a fruitcake as my Daddy would say. When I came in she was eating a snack at the table. She began telling me how much she missed me and begging me not to ever go off again. It was sort of sweet. But then at supper, she asked what day Christmas day was on FOUR times. And it has gone downhill ever since. She has been "rearranging her room" and "cleaning up" as she put it. And tonight....I am "lady".

Monday, August 16, 2010

Stop the Madness

This evening, the Queen (Rebekah) called and deman.....errrr...requested that I bring her supper to her. She is having some separation anxiety since moving back, but would not admit it. So, anyway, I planned to feed the princess early, and fix the Queen's supper to be at TJ Maxx by 6:45. There was no one at home, so I knew I'd have to load up Momaw for a ride across town. Once in the car, it seemed like it was going to be a pleasant ride. She and I talked and she looked at everything we passed with interest. NO DRAMA.
Once at the Maxx, I parked next to Bek's car since her last text message had requested that I not bring in her food, but meet her at the car. She had planned to eat it in the car (but I didn't realize she meant MY car). That was not a problem, but I just didn't know it, and had gotten there 15 minutes early, so Momaw was already getting very antsy. When Rebekah finally came out, she got into the back seat, and began talking and eating her food. I watched as Momaw began working herself into a frenzy. She started complaining about being nauseated and feeling sick. Please note that Rebekah continued to talk about having no air in their apartment, the cat that got injured, blah blah blah....not that I was not interested, but there was so much more going on in the front seat. "Jeeeeeeeeesus......help  me! Help me!" She  twisted and turned, wrung her hands and threw back her head. She'd dose off and jump up and holler "HEY". Rebekah hasn't missed a beat, except to occasionally say, "I hate her". At this point, Moma was rolling her head from side to side, moaning and groaning. She looked at me with an urgency and said, "Lay yore hands on me and PRAY! PRAY!!!" I patted her hand, and continued listening to Rebekah while thinking 'how long can it take to eat a banana sandwich?' and checking my cell phone frantically because my nerves were shot, and someone was going to have to die. Moma was getting worse by the minute. I offered her a milkshake from Sonic. No, she didn't want that. She'd grab her head and holler "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" It was a performance like has never been seen! To keep from screaming, I put the car, which had been running this whole time because it is freaking HOT outside, in reverse and backed out of the parking space. I began going up and down the isles methodically. Finally, Moma looked at me and growled, "Well what are you going around in circles for?" I pulled up to the front of TJ Maxx, let Rebekah out, and pulled out of the parking lot. "Looks like you feel much better now." She had blown her cover. Regretfully she agreed. "Yeah, I'm startin' to".

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Crazy

This morning Mildred is crazy as a "run over dog" (to quote Jay Dowdy). She got up stomping around while Kerry was in the shower. I got up to find her in the refrigerator with a pudding cup in her hand. As I rounded the corner, she looked up and said, "What's this?" UGHHHHHH!!!! She had already poured her some coffee and put milk in it. I decided to just let her eat that for her breakfast. I opened the pudding, popped a spoon in it, and slammed it on the table, yanked out a chair and screeched "SIT DOWN". (I hate her today). Now, you might ask....If she is capable of pouring coffee, putting milk in it and choosing pudding, what is the problem with her being in your refrigerator?" BECAUSE SHE IS CRAZY! She might do okay today, but tomorrow she may spill milk all over the floor, mop it up with my dish towel and hang it back up. To further justify my reasoning for not wanting her in my refrigerator or doing anything else on her own. Read on....

She went to bed after her pudding treat, but was up again, in less than 30 minutes. She wanted the rest of the coffee...then a banana....and then 2 pieces of candy.....I was ready to kill her! But I walked away to let her eat her treats on her own. I stepped back into the kitchen to check on her, and there she was taking off her diaper. "What are you doing?" She looked at me like I was crazy and said, "they're wet!" I wanted to flip her backwards out of that chair, but instead, I said, "Moma! We do that kind of thing in the bathroom". She stood up, held out her hands and said, "I'm sitting down!" Make sense out of that......It's going to be a very crazy day. I can tell. Ugh!

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Typical Saturday

Just like most....this is a typical Saturday. But it is the first Saturday after waking up early and going to work all week. I wanted to sleep!!! She was up clomping around, but the best part is she came into my room and stood over my sleeping body. She clicks the cane over and over and over (for emphasis, I guess). She asked when I was getting up, I said I would in a few minutes, so she thought she'd just wait......standing over me and clicking that cane, offering the occasional random thought from her busy brain.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Friend Day

I have tried for 2 days to post a flyer that goes with this story, but it won't post as a .tif or a pdf file. So...if you are a blogger, help me!

 Monday as I came in, I stopped and grabbed the mail out of the mailbox. I came in and was going over the day with my sitter while I browsed through the mail. I saw Moma's church bulletin and just handed it to her. I paid no attention to it any more. She got up and went to her room. In a little bit, Rebekah and Seth came in. They were sitting at the table when Moma came out of her room. She entered the kitchen, went straight toward them waving the flyer. "We're having Friend Day at our church. We'd love to have you", she said to Seth. He took the flyer and looked it over. "Okay.....I'm pretty sure this was last week, but OK, we'll be there" and handed it back to her. She came into the den where I was, sat down in a chair, and soon dozed off. In a minute, I heard some mumbling, then..."Come to our church! Sunday.....Sunday......SUNDAY!!!" She rattled on in her sleep about Friend Day for about 20 minutes. I looked at the flyer. It was the week prior to us receiving the bulletin. Way to go COP COG!

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Out with the old....In with the Wannabe

(This is the post I wish I were writing, for real)

Today Moma and I got up early to the beautiful blue skies and calm surf at the condo. I have to really get busy to get this thing ready for our snowbirds, coming in October.  They are a nice couple with a cute little French bulldog who adore our place and treat it like their own. How fortunate I was to find them, so I don't have to worry about the mortgage or renting it out in the summer when I want to be here. I am going to Target to get some new bathroom rugs, shower curtain, etc. I also need to replace the mixer and the blender, the colors do not go with my newly redone kitchen. 
Last night, we sat on our balcony until way after midnight. It was just so peaceful, with a cool (well...cool for August) ocean breeze blowing. Moma had me mixing up one daiquiri after another. I thought about doubling her liquor so she would go to sleep and hush. LOL (j/k) She ate a huge supper at Mikey's. We had jumbo shrimp, shrimp scampi, scallops, baked potato, and salad. I was stuffed! She had to be.
As soon as I get back from Target, I am planning to get in a little Vitamin D replacement therapy. She said she'd just sit with dogs and watch TV. Of course, she'll clean up the condo like a maniac, thinking I won't notice. The only thing that really needs doing is the sheets changed and washed. I'm sure Miss Busy Pants will have all that taken care of when I get back upstairs. Oh well....it makes her feel useful (and helps me out a great deal)! Sometimes, I don't know what I would do without her! 

Friday, August 6, 2010

Nesting

Moma is nesting today. She is moving things, rearranging pictures and stuff on the mantle. I watched her rearrange tomatoes in my kitchen window 5 times until they were just right. That kind of crap makes me crazy!

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

And the oscar goes to........

Moma's Academy Award winning performance last night will go down in history as one of the more memorable ones. She brought the whole house down. And at this moment, I am about ready to take her out...if you get my drift.
I do not go to sleep easily. I have to toss and turn for at least an hour before I nod off. Sleep deprivation is just one of my "agely" problems. I try to make the best of it, but around here, just getting up and watching TV causes too many problems, so I lie in the dark, and mentally make out lists. Christmas gifts, To Do lists, lists of jobs the kids can do to make money, lists of things I want Kerry Payne to do. He has no knowledge of these things. Due to the sleep deprivation, I forget to share them with him. I can't account for many things lately. I'm accused of just hanging out in Julieville, but I think the sleep thing is my real adversary. Now that I have set up my little drama.....
If you read last night's post, you know that the princess got her bath, and became the neediest of the royal family. When I finally attempted to turn off the light and go to sleep (ha), it was about 11:15. I was just getting lethargic when I heard the click click click of that infernal cane. I opened my eyes to see her turning off my ceiling fan. As she was exiting the room, Kerry sat up and hollered "Moma!" She kept walking. She has selective hearing, you know. I threw back the covers and got up. I reached out to grab her arm as she was opening the door to the kitchen. "OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW" She bellowed. I pushed her into the kitchen and flipped on the light! "DON'T PUSH ME!" she yelled. I led her to the clock...."It is midnight....you should be in bed.....what do you want now?????" She immediately grabbed her heart and fell into a chair. "I've got to find somebody to pray for me." "Do what??" I sarcastically asked? "Honey, I'm a dying. It's my heart, I guess. OOOOOOOOOOOO, I'm a hurtin'!" Not wanting to be a part of this drama, I walked to the cabinet and got out 2 Tylenol Wonder Drug (she thinks it cures everything). I gave them to her. Note: She usually swallows 4-5 pills at a time, but could only manage one Tylenol at a time....because she was dying, you know. She wanted to begin her praying routine. I got her up and started her toward the bed. Kerry had had a terrible day at work, and he is under enough stress. I was determined she was not going to keep him from sleeping. I got her to bed, but she wouldn't let me close her door. I returned to my bed, and she began her "HELP ME JESUS" act. I just got up, went into her room, closed the door, and sat in the chair. She carried on like a crazy 4 year old on Benedryl. She twisted her body in ways my body would never recover from. She hollered. She raised her hands. She spoke in tongues. She rocked back and forth. I sat in the corner, totally untouched....seen all this before. Rebekah got up and came in to check on us. Moma was drawing a crowd and planned to take full advantage of it. "Pray for me! Somebody pray for me" My standard answer "I'm praying for you....praying for God to take you home." Yes, I am mean and unfeeling after midnight. You cannot imagine the carrying on she did, unless you are pentecostal, then you know. The final blow was her motioning for me to come to her dying bed. "Julie....Julie.....pray for me. Lay your hands on me and pray for me." I answered, "I am praying for you Moma". Not good enough. "Lay your hands on my head and pray...PRAY". So, to appease, I put my hand on her forehead, bowed my head, and said my usual prayer silently. Then I opened my eyes and said, "Okay, now I want you to go to sleep". The ugliest smirk came on her face as she said, "That wasn't worth a flip and you know it!" Say what you want about me, but I lit into her at that moment! "Listen here little woman! Who are you to say my prayers aren't worth anything? Are you Jesus Christ? I don't think so, but you think the pentecostal way is the only way. WELL I AM NOT, NOR WILL I EVER BE PENTECOSTAL!!! You pray your way and I"ll pray mine, but I guarantee that MY GOD is big enough to hear my prayers without all that show and carrying on. You are not dying!" She snapped her head to the side, jutted out that chin, and said, "Forget it!". She closed her eyes and I didn't hear another peep all night.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

I Hear Myself Saying This to Kids at School

"You won't let me be good to you!" I am screaming that at my Moma at 9:00 pm. She is riding her princess pillow high tonight.  The nicer you are to her, the more demanding she is. The more you do for her, the needier she gets. Ugh......
She got a bath tonight. I admit. I have been very neglectful toward her bathing needs this summer. I HATE HATE HATE bath time. I could not do that for a living no matter what the pay was. I am not an "old people" person. This one happens to belong to me, so I have no real choice here. I watched her bathe, and remembered how as a little girl, she fostered my love for a long hot bath with water and bubbles up to my neck. She lathered and washed, and scrubbed, and rinsed over and over and over! When I washed her back with the scrubby thing, she ooooooo'd and ahhhhhhhh'd about how good it felt. I was feeling pretty good toward her, knowing how good it feels to be clean, really clean. I helped her out, helped her dry off. We powdered her, and put medicine on her psoriasis, got on a clean gown and housecoat. I helped her to her room, where I had put clean sheets on her bed and fresh pillow cases. My heart was full.
I left her room to go clean up the bathroom. She called to me and asked where her face cream was. I explained that we had put the medicine on her face where the psoriasis was so she shouldn't use the face cream right now. She was okay with that. By the time I got the bathroom straightened up, I was exhausted. I went into my room and sat on the bed. I heard...."Julie......Julie!!......JUUUUUUULIIIEEE" I got up and went to her room. "Hey, get me some clean socks". They are not hidden, they are in her drawer, but she needed me to get them.
Since then, she has had a peanut butter cookie, chocolate milk, coconut candy, and ice cream. And before the bath she had eaten a huge plate of spaghetti and garlic bread. She gets needier by the minute. I need to be reminded of this the next time my heart is so full of good feelings. This....this is the REAL Mildred Hall. She was toted on a satin pillow all her life, and this is how she has always been, all my life.

Oh, and sidebar....Tonight on her way to the bathroom for her bath, she paused at the bar, looked to see if anyone was watching her (Kerry was from the den). She grabbed a bag and dumped some of the contents in her hand and slid it into her housecoat pocket. Kerry came and told me. I asked her in front of him, "Did you get some of this and put it in your pocket?" She looked like a child caught stealing...."Did you?" I asked again. Finally, she nodded her head yes. "Moma! This is dog food!" I showed her the bag. She reached into her pocket and handed it back to me, and said matter of factly, "I don't want any". Precious.

Monday, August 2, 2010

IT'S MONDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have answered the question concerning what day this is 59 times today. It is on her whiteboard. She asks everyone who comes in what day it is. When every day is the same, why do you care what day it is?

She has had a couple of minor dying spells, but not bad. She has been in another world today. Very passive, but not necessarily sweet. She ate a good supper, but never said anything much other than to ask what day it was, and to tell me she enjoyed her supper.  Well, she did ask if Seth was going to eat with us, but it wasn't her usually aggressive personality.She went to bed after she ate.

I see so many changes in her, but then she rallies up and makes me want to strangle her! But I pray for the Lord's mercy to take her peacefully in her sleep when He sees fit, regardless of when I think it should be.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Today Sunday?

Wow! Talk about a personality change....Moma got up this morning with not only her sassy britches on, but her sharp-as-a-tack britches. I was in the den when I heard her coming. Kerry was watching her from his chair. She walked straight into the kitchen, opened the cabinet, got out a coffee mug, and poured her coffee...I jumped up to get the milk because I could just see my gallon of milk flowing all over the kitchen floor. She then asked, "Today is Sunday, isn't it?" She wasn't feeble, it was matter of fact. I began my usual ritual of fixing her breakfast, when I heard...."YUCK! This coffee ain't hot! ......sitting over there on that warmer, it ought to be hot!"  I knew what was coming. "Julie! Put my coffee in that oven (microwave) and heat it up!" I did not acknowledge her fast enough. "Do you hear me???" I took the cup and placed it in the microwave with the measuring cup of water for her oatmeal. "Hey, are you fixing me something to eat?" (Urge to kill) "Yes! Did you get up on the grouchy side of the bed today?" She smirked, "I can go back to bed!" Did she think I'd be sad? This will be one of those days when nothing I do is right.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Hair

If you are a follower, you'll remember the story about Moma trying to turn her bedroom into a beauty shop. Well, apparently, she was supposed to be a hair dresser. She is on this kick of telling people how awful their hair looks. She talks to the TV and says, "You ort to be ashamed with your hair all long like that (talking to men). That looks awful". And every time Rebekah and I wear our hair up in a pony tail or clip, she tells us to take it down. "I don't like yor hair like that". But the other day, she told Cheryl, my friend, how "turible" her hair looked. I wanted to smack her. She would not let up until Cheryl took her hair down, protesting the whole time because she said her hair was dirty. It was like she could not tell her enough how bad her hair looked. I mean, really? Seriously? Has she looked at her hair lately? She looks like Cramer!

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Change

I can't explain it. I am not sure I even understand what I am about to say. Moma is changing somehow. She is physically more feeble, most of the time. She is still strong though (like when you try to take something away from her). Her balance I guess, is what is worse.
She is different personality-wise in that most of the time, she is sweet, but still busy. She isn't cussing as much (may be out of her system-ha!). She tells me how much she will miss me, when I am getting ready to leave. She asks where Kerry is all day long. It's like she is slipping away, but I just can't describe it. She asks questions more like a scared child, rather than in an administrative tone. "Where are you going? When will you be back?" "You aren't going any where today are you?" It is sad.....
That being said, please know that she is still busy....still annoying....and still Moma. I do not for the life of me understand why God is leaving her here. HIS plan is perfect, and not mine to question, but I am human. She was always my confidant, my friend....and I hate seeing her dwindle away to this tiny little body who is dependent on me for everything, when I used to look to her for everything.
I am thankful for the tools God has given me to take this journey. I know I am in the palm of His hand, as is Moma. His way, not mine.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Bits and Pieces

I understand that I was talked about quite a bit last night while I attended the mayor's fund raiser. One of my dearest friends (seriously, not just because you read my blog) came to sit with the Princess. She brought her a BBQ sandwich, chocolate fudge pie, and a jug of chocolate milk. But somehow...the conversation took a turn toward the negligence by me and my audacity of asking a friend to come up here while I go out and have a good time. Feel free to check me for tears...there are none. I even offered my friend a chance to be a "guest blogger" here, but she declined.
Today, Princess has been a busy girl. She helped me clean out a drawer (with me saying, "Put that down, No you cannot have that, I'll get that in a minute" Then she rambled through all the things I took out of the drawer (which more than likely will make it back to the same drawer...hey! it's a junk drawer). Now, I was through...but she turned her attention to another drawer in my kitchen (sigh...yes another junk drawer) and began sorting through all the things in it. So....I guess I started something when all I set out to do was get a plate hanger (I have some somewhere) for a newly acquired blue plate from Sal-Mart. After that she has been on my *** all afternoon.
"Julie, is that water on in that pool? You need to turn that off, it's about to spill over"
"Hey, what's all this in the refrigerator? You need to clean this out"
"That plant is going to die"
"Those dogs need water"
"Give that dog a bite"
"Put these somewhere" (handed me a handful of rubber bands)
And what really ticks me off is.....she is usually right! ugh
So much for me getting into the Blue Hole today. I thought she was going to bed, but she is sitting right behind me firing questions at me. Sigh......at least she isn't rambling.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Night on the town

Sherry came and got Moma last night around 6, to take her out to eat and keep her awhile for me to go see Rebekah's play. Somehow they couldn't get back into my house after they ate, so Sherry took Moma to her house. That is always a mistake. She nearly drove Sherry crazy. I picked her up about 10:20, and she was feeble, and weak, and felt so bad! (ha! and I went to see Bek's performance!) I got her home and she tried her best to fall in the driveway. Then I had to walk her to her room, and help her get undressed, hang up her clothes, get out her night gown, etc. What a drama queen. I guess she was punishing me for leaving her. But this morning....she was up bright and early stomping through my house, demanding breakfast. She doesn't stay in character long.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

I don't like her today....

I know that I have been very negative lately, and I apologize.......BUT! I am not her biggest fan today. She is bossy, busy, and just plain annoying. She has asked the same questions all day. She wants to close curtains and doors, put animals out or let them in, pour her own milk, and EAT. She has asked at least one hour before every meal...."Ain't we gone eat dinner?" (or supper?). Ugh.
OH! And she has stolen a picture out of my bathroom. It was one of those things she got free from a furniture store when she bought her sofa. She gave it to my mother, and when she died, I claimed it. So, I suppose now she has taken it back. She takes back many of her things from time to time. DRIVES ME INSANE!!!
She just left the kitchen, finishing her 1st after supper snack. There will be more.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010



Cousins Linda, Michael, and Dorthy with the little Princess. Dorthy is the one she calls meaning Sherry. They are all from Aunt Rosa Bell's line. Aunt Rosa Bell was one of the older children of Minnie Lou and Cicero.
Erin and Sherry with Moma.

Looking back

It must be easy to assess a situation that you have no investment in and pass off your advise. I love my family, but until you take Moma into your house and have her totally disrupt your life and ways of doing things, and stop all your comings and goings without having to make arrangements...please stop advising me. I appreciate your concern for her. She is well taken care of, fed 3 meals a day plus a ka-jillion snacks, she is bathed and her clothes are washed. I am doing the best I can and any time you want to take on this mission, even for a weekend, let me know. If you love her and are really concerned about her, come visit her, send her a card, buy her a milkshake or gum. Your once a year voice of concern has been heard and duly noted. You are now free to return to your life. Laughter is all I have. Do not try to take it from me. God equipped me with it to deal with this mission. Remember, he doesn't call the equipped, he equips the called. Enough said on that. You know who you are.

The family reunion is always fun to me, as our family is full of jokers and sweet funny people. My dad could gather with his cousins and they would cut up for hours. I miss him, especially at the reunion. He loved his family. Moma loves her family too, even if she isn't sure who they are. She smiles and nods, and in that little head thinks "Who in the cat hair is that?" She yelled out during announcements that she couldn't hear anything he was saying. She didn't know they were honoring her because she was too busy asking me a million questions. I had to tell her, and her response? "Good". But oh how she loves a spread of food. This year, I let her get in line and tell me what to put on her plate. She had one scoop of just about everything on the table. Her food was in layers. The plate was seriously so full, I wasn't sure I could get it to the table. She ate every bite!!!! And after surveying all our plates, sent Sherry and Erin back for more. AND OF COURSE, she wrapped her up a "go package". I caught her putting BBQ meat in a napkin and sliding it into her purse. I took it out in front of her and tried to explain that she could take home some food, but that we were going to put it on a plate. I went and got a plate and gave it to her wanting her to put the BBQ meat on it. Instead she got up and went back to the table and got 4 BBQ chicken thighs, brought it back to the table, and turned around and swiped someones foil from a basket under the table and wrapped it up....left the plate on the table!!!!!!!!!! As soon as her "take out" was secured, she was ready to go. I sent Erin with her to the bathroom so I could confiscate the foil package and check her purse for other contraband. As soon as she came out, she wanted to go.....never mind that families were making pictures, cousins were chatting, and I wasn't really ready to go. But then again....it is all about her.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Here is the Princess with her 2 nephews (both named James). There is so much to tell about this year's family reunion, but she is wearing me out tonight. She is engineering CRAZY TRAIN! And she's coming around the bend again. Shoot me.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

2010 Family Reunion only a memory now

She got up bright and early this morning. She remembered that we had something to do today, but couldn't put her finger on it. I laid in the bed and listened to her clomp through the house. Finally, I got up and she asked (as if I have never done it before) "Hon, could you fix us some breakfast?" Ugh....I don't speak in the mornings if I don't have to, but you can't just answer her because it is automatically followed with "huh?" which I think is more habit than hearing trouble. During breakfast, she began the tiring repetition of questions.
"Is today Saturday or Sunday?"
"Are you going to take me to that family reunion?"
"What time do we have to be there?"
"Who's gone take me?"
She repeated this series of questions until I swear I was about to lose it.

When we were ready to leave, I had to practically drag her out of the house. She waits until the last minute to fill her purse with everything she can cram in it from her room. She'll check herself in the mirror, go to the bathroom, and then one more time, check that purse. It's awful, but I have to just get ugly and make her leave. (Yes, I take her by the arm and say "Let's go")

(Note: I am editing a post that I haven't posted yet and am not sure how it will post, so I'll detail her behavior in another post....Just FYI)