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Saturday, December 25, 2010

Christmas 2010

Picture it. A warm fire, snowflakes falling big and soft, a friendly old tree decorated by all the ornaments my kids made and the ones I bought for them along with all the "teacher" ones I have received, hubby in his recliner and Moma on the sofa babbling like a precocious 4 year old. "Praise the Lord for the snow! Thank you Jesus!! Thank you Thank you!! Merry Christmas......Julie, I ain't never seen snow on Christmas day! Have you? This makes Christmas perfect! PERFECT! Thank you Jesus!!! Merry Merry Christmas.....(cough, hack, cough, hack, spit.....cough more, hack more, spit.....) Ain't we got no Kleenex?? I wish we had some? Ain't you got none in that cabinet?" Then she got on opening presents and when were we going to eat, and where were my kids.......Sigh....She bossed ("Let that dog out" "Get me some water" GET US SOME KLEENEX"), she hacked and spit, and she carried on like a child. But oh, what an improvement that was over what she did at my in-laws last night.
We arrived there first...and we are NEVER first. Kerry asked his mother where everybody was, and her response was that the other family members could not possibly be there before 5. He asked why she didn't tell us, that we had been rushing around...she said she had been rushing around too. So Moma began her rifling through all the candy dishes and trays, wrapping up candy and nuts in a napkin for her "stash". As we began fixing plates, I went to get Moma settled so I could fix her plate, and she pitched a fit because I had her sit in an odd chair pulled in to accommodate the crowd. She said, "I ain't settin' in that little chair..." I pushed her into the chair (before I killed her) She turned to me and said, "I don't need your help" I walked away....because that was a much better thing to do rather than smashing her face into the table.  I fixed her plate, and as usual, it did not have everything on it she wanted. I ignored her rather than throwing food at her. I sat her in between my in-laws as usual, so they can deal with her bossing and asking stupid questions. She wanted a bite of everything on the (hated) candy trays, and the cakes, and the pies....She's like a goldfish. You can feed her until she explodes. FINALLY, the opening of the presents began. Like always, we let the kids open first, then the adults move into the living room to open theirs. She had a tiny gift bag with socks in it, and of course, we all had several gifts to open. As suddenly as a car horn, she made this proclamation. "I want all of you to know that I appreciate ALL that you gave ME. And I hope YOU ALL got just what YOU WANTED!" It was so sarcastic, it dripped out of the smirk on her face. Rebekah and I immediately said, "MOMA!!" She would not shut-up. "Well, I want y'all to know....." We interrupted her with "SHUT UP". I was so embarrassed. My mother-in-law said, "Didn't she get her gifts?" As it turned out, one had been missed. They gave it to her, and yet she still rambled. "Don't I have a right to speak?" Kerry told her "NO!" and to shut-up. "They just don't want me talking" she said to my mother-in-law. OMG! I wanted to die. She has made her last trip to their house if I have a say in it.  She has totally sucked the JOY out of my Christmas. I can't wait to get the tree down.

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