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Thursday, July 29, 2010

Change

I can't explain it. I am not sure I even understand what I am about to say. Moma is changing somehow. She is physically more feeble, most of the time. She is still strong though (like when you try to take something away from her). Her balance I guess, is what is worse.
She is different personality-wise in that most of the time, she is sweet, but still busy. She isn't cussing as much (may be out of her system-ha!). She tells me how much she will miss me, when I am getting ready to leave. She asks where Kerry is all day long. It's like she is slipping away, but I just can't describe it. She asks questions more like a scared child, rather than in an administrative tone. "Where are you going? When will you be back?" "You aren't going any where today are you?" It is sad.....
That being said, please know that she is still busy....still annoying....and still Moma. I do not for the life of me understand why God is leaving her here. HIS plan is perfect, and not mine to question, but I am human. She was always my confidant, my friend....and I hate seeing her dwindle away to this tiny little body who is dependent on me for everything, when I used to look to her for everything.
I am thankful for the tools God has given me to take this journey. I know I am in the palm of His hand, as is Moma. His way, not mine.

2 comments:

cosby2 said...

It is hard seeing parents or grandparents become feeble. You are so used to seeing them full of life and depending on them for advice and help. And then it all reverses. Just depend on God to provide you the path to follow. You and Momaw are always in my prayers.

Cheryl Taylor said...

I love you and I love what you are doing.