A trip to the dentist

I had an appointment to get my teeth cleaned on Tuesday. I began getting Moma ready for this on Monday. I told her that we'd go eat lunch afterward if everything went well (in other words, if she was good), and that I would take her to run my errands because she loves to ride. So..........Tuesday morning, I went into her room and began laying out her clothes which woke her up and our day was off and running.

Tuesday was unseasonably warm and muggy, but nothing would do but she wear her BIG winter coat. We loaded up in the car, and the seat belt had fuzz on it from her prior ride (her pink housecoat sheds badly), so it ended up on her black coat. She started fussing..."What in the shit is all over my coat?" I knew immediately and got her the lint roller. She worked on it until we got to the dentist office. We got in and seated and she announced to the entire waiting room. "Where in the hell did I get this mess on my coat?" Nice. One girl laughed out loud, and another lady placed the book she was reading over her face. Precious. When they called me back, I started helping her up. She yelled out, "Why do I have to go?" Through gritted teeth, I said, "Because I cannot trust you out here by yourself, get up!" She entertained the hygienist and my dentist. They gave her a new tooth brush (why?) She was tickled. (Again, why?) We got up to leave, and the hygienist said that the receptionist had someone with her, could I wait in the waiting room to schedule my next appointment. I said that was fine, but Moma yelled out "Why in the cathair are we settin' back down? Ain't you through?"  Then she began berating all the furnishings. A black man came in and she is so free to use her racial terms, I decided to suggest that she go to the restroom while we wait. (And by the way Lady, I know you heard me say that to her, and I know you jumped up to beat her in there....you are just tacky!) When I got her settled in the bathroom, they called me back to the desk. I had her purse and mine. In just a minute, I heard "JULIE! HEY JULIE!!!" I sprinted to the bathroom door, just as her little head peered out and she declared, "I NEED SOME KOTEX!" The urge to kill her passed quickly, and I shoved her purse and her back into the bathroom. I told her that her diapers were in her purse and to HUSH! I went back and took care of business and swiftly got her out of there before she discovered the racial diversity in the room.
The rest of the day went pretty much like the first. She was inappropriate but most of that was for me only, as I kept her in the car for most of the rest of our adventure.
Later, I thought she'd be too tired to see the lights at the falls (employee preview night). But when Kerry called and told us to come on, she jumped up like a 10 year old and began dressing. She never ceases to amaze me. She absolutely loved the lights and didn't want to leave.