Temper Temper...

I used to hate to hear my mother or grandmother say "Temper Temper" when I was young and about to blow my stack. Someone should have said it today. I lost mine with her in the car. My blood pressure was off the charts. She makes me so crazy, but I have to remind myself that she isn't my grandmother, she can't help it and she doesn't remember from one minute to the next, so why waste the air? It is a good thing that she doesn't remember because I would hate for her to remember what all I said to her today. Let me explain.....

I woke her up this morning 4 times before she would get up and get to the table. I should have known that today would be difficult. She was very cloudy and slow. When she got ready for the beauty shop (1 hour early, no matter how many times I told her what time we were leaving), she wandered around the house looking out the window, asking what time that man would be here to pick her up. I reminded her that I was taking her to the beauty shop. "Oh Yeah" she forgot. We got to the beauty shop and glory be! Dinah said she had time to give her the perm that she has asked everyone in 3 counties to give her. That gave me 2 beautiful glorious hours of freedom. I had a bill to pay, and an errand to run, but what then? The Mall!! Yes, I'd go walk around the mall. That got old quick, tired of shopping due to the Christmas deal. So, I went home and waited the call to come pick her up.

Got to the beauty shop when she was ready, and they were counting out her money. She had just enough (without spending her $10 from Pat and Sharon for Christmas). That left her penniless as she put it. On the way to the bank, I stopped by her house to get the mail and feed the cat. She got out and started picking up pecans (the temp. is 28). She started begging to stay and pick up pecans. I told her that was fine, but we wouldn't go anywhere else. She said, "OK", but fast realized that she had nothing to put them in and that she couldn't get them all. I said, "Don't complain about how cold it is in my house later, if you can pick up pecans in this." She got back into the car, and started the old conversation about who could she get to pick them up for her. We went to the bank and the fighting began. She wanted me to write her a check for $100 or $200. (How absurd) I went right ahead and made out the check for the usual $75. She got so mad. She said, "Why can't you just do what I tell you to?" Of course, without thinking, I said, "You don't do anything I ask you to, so why should I?" We pulled up to the window, and cashed the check. She was mouthing and I just let it go. Then she said in a loud angry voice, "Why won't you let me spend my money? It's MY money!!" I lost it! I said, "Who said you couldn't spend your money? Do you think I am spending it? No Ma'am! I am not!" She continued to mouth about not getting her enough money out, she might have wanted to buy a new pair of shoes. I told her that was what the check book was for. She could write a check for her new shoes. She was screaming at me by now, saying "I don't always have my check book with me" (yes she does, she is paranoid that one of us has it, caught her searching my purse for it). I can feel my blood pressure rising now. My head is about to pop off. She is pushing all the right buttons. I screech at her, "I brought you to live in my house, you eat my food, you watch my cable, you use my power, gas and water, when we eat out, we buy yours and we have NOT ASKED YOU FOR ONE DIME, now have we??" I mean I was about to wreck the car I was so mad at her. She said, "I didn't say you did". And to put the icing on the cake, I belted out, " I don't want your **** money, and you can spend it any time you ****well please. I am not going to fight with you over your stupid money. I guess you have forgotten that TWICE someone has taken your money from you in your own home. Do they have to KILL you for you to get it? Carrying around a bunch of cash is STUPID!!!!!!!!" At this point, medics should have been called to monitor my blood pressure as I am sure that my head was spurting blood out the top. She patted my arm and said, "I'm sorry". Yes, thank you for that dose of guilt. Thank you for making me crazy enough to almost curse you out, and then playing the innocent one.

I took her out to eat because it is WEDNESDAY (the national "go out for lunch day because I just got my hair done"). We went to Uncle Sam's where she hit the bathroom, the minute we got there and stayed until I thought we'd have to call in Rogers Crane service to pull her out. Now, mind you, I am still catching my breath over nearly wrecking the car and killing us both. I can't talk much to her, because I am not over my spell. When our food arrives.....she begins dipping (and double dipping) her fries in my Ranch dressing. Okay, I don't do that (see Food Fight, an earlier post). My day is shot to heck and back. The only thing that saved it was 2 calls during lunch from 2 of my best friends. Thanks K and C for "feeling" my pain and calling me. Your call may have saved a little old lady her life! lol She asked when I go back to work, "Tomorrow", I said. Thank Heavens!
The waitress told her how cute she was (and she plays that part well!). I wanted to say....Honey, if you only knew.................