Never take for granted your freedoms. Oh, I am not just talking about the Bill of Rights and the Constitution. I mean your day in and day out freedoms. I have been seriously grieving over my loss of freedom. For example, I no longer have the freedom to run to Wal-Mart at 8:00 unless there is someone here to stay with Moma. Nor can I leave a mess from a "project" unfinished. I don't have the freedom to sneak my dogs a bite of what I am eating because she feeds them EVERYTHING she can. I can't graze in my pantry or refrigerator anymore without having to explain what I am eating and then fixing her some. But the freedom I miss the most is going to church every time the door is open; not missing any event! Tonight for the first time in many weeks, I got to go to choir practice! Sweet freedom! I couldn't sing for the lump in my throat. I miss the fellowship of my Christian brothers and sisters. I miss singing the songs that speak my heart. I just sat and worshipped through one song because the tears were coming fast, and God was blessing me so, I couldn't sing a note. I miss serving God with a glad heart! Now, I know that I am doing what He would have me do, but it is sacrifice. He calls us to sacrifice, but it is harder than I ever thought. In Colossians, it tells us to do what we do with all our heart as if we are doing it for Him and not man. So I KNOW that I KNOW I am doing what God would have me do. I just felt the need to share that, and I am not sure why.
There is not much to report. Today was beauty shop day. She is more childlike everyday. She talks to me as if I am an employee at this "place" where she is. Tonight she asked if she needed to pay for her meals. lol God love her! She seems to have a different countenance. I hope God is preparing her for her new body!
1 comment:
I know how you feel...believe me. I felt so torn when I was at home taking care of mother and dad. I knew that was where I should be but I felt so guilty leaving Nat alone and missed spending time with my friends and church family too. But looking back, I wouldn't change a thing. I now relish the last two years and the time I spent with mom and dad. Also during that time, God revealed Himself to me sooo many times and provided a path for me to follow. You and Moma are in my prayers.
Love you
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