Moma woke me up with gun shot....well, it sounded like gun shot. She bangs that %$&* cane on my bedroom door every morning. This morning there was a hint more gusto to it. I shot out of bed like there was an air raid. I couldn't decide whether to go to the bathroom, let the dogs out of their crates or kill her first. She wanted diapers. She goes through them like she does napkins. I knew that she was going to be on her game today.
Sherry came up to lie in the pool awhile, and Moma was up and down, and up and down. I was dizzy with all her activity. She wasn't getting enough attention so she had to be a smart you-know-what. She wanted chocolate milk, then ice cream, then a glass of ice water. She hated her lunch. She "couldn't eat it" (who knows why). She said my tea wasn't worth a shit and she never wanted any more of it. She finally went back to bed.
When she got up again, Sherry had gone. Moma was looking everywhere. She said, "Where'd they all go?" I asked who she was referring to (for my entertainment). Her answer: "Verlon" I exploded in laughter. I said, "Who??" She said, "VERLON! That lady who was in the pool with you". Lovely. I said, "Moma, that was Sherry." She looked at me like I was crazy. Then she asked.....(wait on it) "Did they come by with my payday?" (What?) I just shook my head and said, "no". She said," Well I know I was supposed to get a payday today!"
The rest of the evening was a repeat of her popcorn appearances. I finally had to just make her mad to get her to go to bed. She told me that she thought I would be a much more loving niece than I am. HA! (Don't any of you "aunts" out there get any ideas, you are NOT living with me).
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