Smell like a dog?

Yesterday, I came in from school (weekend college) and found out that my son's car (which is for SALE by the way....) was ready to be picked up from the mechanic. So, Kerry and I talked Moma into taking a ride and going with us, because to be honest....who's wants her HOME ALONE? She loves to ride if she doesn't have to get out of the car. She was so cute and funny. We rode by some relatives' homes and she knew who lived there. She waved at her house and said, "Hello old girl". We really enjoyed her. (Enter shark music) When we got home, her horns sprouted and she was a terror! She complained about the fan, the air conditioner, feeding the dogs, wanting some candy, not having enough diapers to get through the night....and on and on. I was so ready to go to bed. As I was going through the house turning off lights, she appeared in the door with the dreaded words......................
"SCRATCH MY BACK"
Oh the misery. You would have to experience it to understand why I hate this so much. So I get the back scratcher (because I have NO nails) and we go through the ritual. (gag) And I put her to bed. I just get laid down when Rebekah bursts through our bedroom door laughing hysterically.
She said, "Mom, she has the dog shampoo between her feet in the bathroom, I think she is putting it on her bottom". Fudge! I get up, go into the bathroom and there is my grandmother slathering up her legs with my dog's $11 a bottle shampoo. I said, "MOMA! That is dog shampoo (and I don't even mention the cost!) you are rubbing on your legs". She said, "I don't give a shit what it is. It is stopping my itching, and nobody else is doing anything about it." And it probably was. It is oatmeal shampoo I buy at the vet for Shula's dry skin.