Liar Liar, pants on fire....

The whole weekend so far has been just precious. Moma is most certainly MILDRED, but, not the one that raised me, the most recent Mildred (of the past 5 years). She has rambled in every drawer, sack, closet, box, purse, cabinet, and hole she could get in. She has had a record number of "boo boo" accidents, and done a fair share of cussing too. I have called her Ramblin' Rose, but that makes her so mad. The funniest thing is how greedy she is about food.
Today at about 3ish, she started nagging me about supper. When I would ask if she was hungry, she'd say, "no, I just wondered". Finally, she came through,disgusted, and said to me, "They said we was gonna have supper, but I'll believe it when I see it." It was about 5:30 (and the no less than 12th time she'd mentioned supper). So, I reminded her that Kerry would be bringing supper home, when he came home, and could she not wait? She said she could, but would not hush about eating. So, I offered her some chicken soup. She said it was better than nothing so I fixed it. She ate the whole bowl. In the meantime, Kerry called to say he was going to get our supper and who all was eating. I told him that she had already eaten, to just get us something. Just about the time she finished up, and was putting her bowl in the sink, he came in with a big sack from Wendy's. She said, "There he comes with our supper!!" Without going into the much repeated and irritating dialogue that transpired, just be assured that she was highly ticked off that there was nothing for her in that bag. As we sat down to eat, she kept tryng to get into the bag as I was getting our food out. Then she stood between us while we began eating doing her usual grunting. I was not ugly, but I said, "You can sit with us at the table or you can sit in the den, but you are not going to stand over me while I eat." She said, "Well, pardon me" very sarcastic like. She said again, "I didn't want anything anyway", so I said, a little loud perhaps, "You could not wait on him to bring our supper home, you had to eat, so you ate! That was YOUR choice!!!" She leaned over to my ear as if to tell me a secret and said as hateful as ever, "Why don't you shut up lying?" (her pronunciation is shet-up)
I'd like to see a show of hands of who wants to trade places with me.