Moma's Big Day!

For several days, Moma has wanted me to call "Dorothy" which we know by now is Sherry. She wants Sherry to call Dinah at the beauty shop to get her an appointment. Obviously, I don't have sense enough to call the beauty shop and do away with the middle Dorothy. She went all into details about getting her hair cut and getting perm, blah-dy blah-dy, blah.....Then she begins the old tirade of needing her some money. Yada yada yada......Well, it just so happens that Sherry (a.k.a. Dorothy) contracted the stomach virus thingy from the pits of hell. Now anyone who knows me knows that I will run from a throw-upy thing like a maniac. So I told Sherry to stay as far away from my house as the east is from the west. I asked her not to even look toward my house or think about happy times here until she is well and virus free for at least 48 hours. So, that left me to deal with this beauty shop dilemma.Got up this morning and called the beauty shop. Finally got someone on my second attempt. Yes, they said to bring her on, they'd work her in. She was thrilled. So she began asking what she should wear. Now, get the visual. This little woman has ALWAYS dressed fit to kill. And she wears stockings, not panty hose. Something has to hold up those stockings (and that would be her girdle, BUT! she wears a pull-up type diaper). Now, when she wets herself (and she will), how is she going to change all that garb without completely disrobing at the beauty shop? So, brilliant me, I suggest that she wear one of her nice "house dresses" (thin housecoat), and her nicest pair of house slippers. She doesn't like it but I can tell she is thinking it over. So, I leave her alone, but notice her putting on her green suit, but the skirt keeps falling to the floor. After saying a few expletives, she gets out her new "house dress". I go in her room and she says, what kind of shoes am I going to wear? I got her house slippers and she flipped out. So, you get the picture......this was dragging on ad nauseum, so I washed my hands and left her. Now remember: Dinah is waiting on her. Plus, she was trotting to the bathroom between cussing, and changing clothes. Finally I went in to rush her along, and pulled out her black suit. I pinned the skirt, and begged her to get with it. She was looking for her glasses which she NEVER wears. Then she wanted some mints (I had none). She was in her jewelry box, in her closet, looking for her "pocket book", hunting kleenex. You'd have thought she was never going to come home.We finally get in the car, after my near coronary. I took her in and was prepared to stay with her, but Dinah said, "No, we'll be fine". I couldn't get out of there fast enough! (Big smile!)I know I have drug this on, so here is the end. When they finished with her, she told Becky not to call me because I was not at home! She wanted to stay! I got down there to pay her bill and pick her up and she wouldn't go. I left and went to Wally World, and then picked her up. She was at the beauty shop from 9:50 to 2:30! Could this be my new daycare??????One last funny....tonight when I got home from school, she was in her bed with her hot pink sleep cap on (which is 9 miles too big) and my AUBURN jacket!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Precious!