Thursday

If you came looking to laugh, go up to the right hand corner of your screen and click that red X (unless you are on a Mac). There is nothing to laugh about at my house tonight. Tonight, Momaw forgot how to feed herself. Let me explain.
I cooked supper early so that Rebekah could eat before rehearsal at the Ritz. I had everything ready, when Momaw got up and came into the kitchen. Rebekah had already reported to me earlier that she was very out of it. And when I got home, she was without a diaper because she forgets to put one back on when she takes a wet one off. Anyway, she strolled around the kitchen looking and peeping around. She told me that she was going crazy. Then she asked me this. "Do you think that I should leave?" I said, "Momaw, I don't understand what you mean. If you left, where would you go?" She shook her head and said, "I ain't got nowhere. You are all I've got". We had more of this crazy conversation, and then she abruptly ended it by saying, "I'm going in here to sit on the couch until you need me. If you need me, will you come and get me?" I nodded. "Julie, you ain't just sayin' that are you? Will you come get me?" I said, "Moma, I promise you!" Rebekah came in and was showing me her purchases and getting her plate fixed when Moma came back into the kitchen. She had chocolate on her hands and a wadded up candy paper. I showed her the garbage can and she asked if she could sit at the table. I nodded and pulled out her chair. When Rebekah began eating, I decided to fix mine and Moma's plates instead of waiting on Kerry. Moma sat with her hands in her lap, and she was turned sideways. I got up and moved her chair up to the table. I sat down and began to eat. Rebekah reminded Moma to eat. She said, "I will", but just sat with those little hands folded in her lap. I said, "Moma, let me stir it up for you." and I began to stir her food. She said, "Will you help me eat?" Confused, I said, "What do you mean?" She said, "I'll wait until you finish eating." Hands still folded in her lap, she seemed calm and quiet. Rebekah and I tried talking to her about it, but she kept insisting that I finish my food first.Then Rebekah asked her something (I can't remember what) and she screamed out, "You are going to help me eat!" almost mean like.  Finally, I pushed my plate back and told her I was finished. She never moved her hands from her lap. I fed her like a baby. I held her cup so she could drink. Inside, my heart was breaking. Inside, I was weeping. Kerry came home and asked her if she couldn't feed herself. She looked at me and asked, " Does he mind you helping me eat?" I assured her that he was okay with it. She finished up, and I fixed her some chocolate milk and gave her medicine to her. Then she asked to be taken to bed. I walked with her to her room, helped her in bed, covered her up, and walked away in tears.