I created this blog to be an honest look at being the caretaker of an elderly person. I wanted an eyewitness account for anyone facing it or going through it. What is normal is not always nice. Guilt is a feeling that you have to just let go and do the best you can. Guilt will drive you crazy. You will not always like this person. You may, at times, be disgusted and sickened over something they do or how they do it. There will be times that you question why you ever took this on. You will long for freedom, desire peace in your home, and dream about a time when this person is gone.
Today, I do not like my grandmother. She makes me sick eating. She makes me mad feeding my dogs or hiding food in her pocket to sneak to my dogs. She mocks me. She complains about everything. Nothing is ever right or good enough. I am tired of repeating myself. I hate answering the same questions every 10 minutes. I miss the person she used to be. I am almost angry at my parents for dying before her and leaving me to care for her. I simply wish she would go away.
Is this normal? Yes, dear reader, I am afraid it is.
But as Scarlet reminds us....tomorrow is another day. I won't think about this today. If I think about this today, I'll go crazy. I will think about this tomorrow.
3 comments:
Here's a story you can relate to: while my grandmother was still in her "right mind," she gave me her diamond ring to use in my bridal set. Years later as her mind began to wander, she would call me and say, "Someone has broken in the house! My diamonds are gone. I bet your momma has stolen them from me!" It would infuriate me! I would tell her, "No, you gave them to me." She would always breathe a sigh of relief and say, "Thanks God! When can you bring them back to me?"
LOL! Now I can laugh about it. Then, however, was a different story. I would yell and say, "No, you can't! It's my wedding set! Stop calling me about this!" She never did, though. :o)
That is hilarious! My grandmother gave me hers as well....wonder when she will start trying to take them back?? I got married with her band, even though I had my own.
I'm sure she will be wanting it back soon :o)
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