Nonsense

I have had more ignorant conversations in the past week than I care to EVER again. We had an "Abbott and Costello" type conversation yesterday about the heat. It went something like this:
Moma: Is your husband at home?
Me: No, he is playing golf, why?
Moma: I need someone to turn on the heat
Me: The heat is on Moma
Moma: Not in my room
Me: Yes it is (suddenly remembering that she refers to her electric blanket as heat sometimes) Let me check.
Moma: Okay...(follows me down to her room)
Me: See (showing her the control) This light means it is on. See??
Moma: Does that mean the heat will come out of there? (pointing to the vent)
Me: No, that runs on a thermostat. (seeing her confused look) When the house cools off, the heat will come on
Moma: I don't understand it
Me: (pointing to a blanket she has taken off her bed) There is one of your blankets. You need to put that back on your bed.
Moma: Does the heat come out of that?
Me: No
Moma: Well, who can we call?
Me: (covering my eyes) Who can we call about WHAT????
Moma: the heat
AAACKKKKKK!!!!!!!!! Ignorant conversation is not for me.