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Monday, June 8, 2009

Otis Campbell?

If you read my blog regularly, you know that my grandmother is a DRAMA QUEEN! Well, as of about 30 minutes ago, she is drunk as Otis Campbell. Let me explain....
This afternoon, she came into the kitchen with the dreaded back scratcher in her hand. "Scratch my back" she screeched at me. I grabbed the can of spray, pulled up her gown and housecoat and sprayed her down! She screamed and carried on, but still begged me to "rub it". I used the back scratcher to scratch her back. No matter how much I scratched, she carried on. "God help me!! Help me Lord!!! OOOOOOOOOOOO it eeetches!!! God help!" She was working herself into a major frenzy. Ugh! I hate this. I begin to think, what can I do? I looked to the medicine cabinet for some Benedryl, but then I pondered....if the Tylenol PM is no longer working (see earlier posts) she could be immune to the Benedryl in it. Hmmm.....I grabbed the locked box. I know Dr. Robinson gave her something for her nerves. Where is it?? Oh here is something....what is this? Lo...Lo...that is supposed to trigger something. Oh yes, this makes her LOCO. Tossed that back in. Wait! Here it is!!!! Yes! This little orange capsule he gave her when her nerves were so bad at night. "Here, take this". She swallowed.
As typical, she began to whine about supper around 5:00. I fixed her some soup, mainly to shut her up, because I was not yet hungry, and with Kerry out of town, I can eat when and what I want. As she ate her soup, her eyes began to get heavy. Good, I think to myself. She is settling down. After she ate, she got up and went to bed. I took my drink and the phone and went out on the deck with my dogs. A loud GONG went off in my head! I was supposed to dump 1/2 of the medicine out of that little orange capsule!!!!!!!!! The prescription calls for 1/2 of that dose. Oh me. I get up and get the baby monitor. Whew! She is breathing. I sit back letting her sleep it off. As it got dark, I got up to come inside. I heard her stirring. The phone rang and as I was admitting my sin to Kelli, she came through her door. "HEY" she scowled at me! "I want something to eat" she growled. I said, "you already had supper". She said, "I ain't done it!" I took her to the kitchen, and fixed her a milkshake. She wanted more. She kept asking inappropriate questions, like "Hey, what time is it? Is this morning? Is it time for bed?" She dropped and slopped ice cream all over the place like Otis. "HEY! Can I go to bed? Where do you want me to sleep? HEY! You got a bed for me?" I helped her back to bed. Even though I caused this, I am still immature and could not help but laugh. She was so funny. When I got her into her room and laid her down, she said, "HEY (she prefaces everything with that)don't leave me here by myself. And keep me covered up" lol She has called me back in her room 3 times to tell me those same 2 things! "HEY! Don't leave me! And keep me covered up!" Oh well....she seriously needs the rest.

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