Downhill

Moma is in a downhill spiral. She doesn't rally back quite like she did. She will have moments where she seems more herself, but they do not last very long. She sleeps a lot. She is very confused and seems to be looking for something all the time. Tonight at supper, she kept looking for something. She said, "I had a....a....spoon, or something......maybe it was like a stick......I take it with me every where I go......I can't find it" She could have been referring to her cane (bionic arm) or the pencil I gave her today. Who knows? She is not even funny anymore. She is sad and lost. She is a shadow of herself. The nurse came to see her Friday, and told my sitter that she won't be with us much longer.
She doesn't even remember when and if she ate. She cannot remember taking medicine either. Tonight she said, "I've already taken this". I argued and told her that she had not. She said, "If I die, you'll know you gave me too much" and as funny as that sounds....it wasn't funny. I pray that God will not tarry. I pray for a peaceful journey to the other side. She will be so happy to be reunited with her mother, sisters, children and her husband. I want her to be happy. Am I being selfish?