Please Lord, Let me be this limber when I am old...er! LOL This is how she was watching TV late yesterday evening. I had to make this picture. People do not believe me when I say she is that able bodied!

Home again

I just got back home from a 3 day trip to Atlanta for a school conference. While I enjoyed my time away (no lie), it was NOT a vacation by any means. So, back at home....I am realizing that next week my sitter is OFF, as in not on duty, like NOT GOING TO BE HERE!!!!!!!!!!! What will I do with this little woman for the next 9 days? NINE DAYS????? NINE! NINER! 9.....sigh.
Remember we are counting down to the family reunion which is a week from tomorrow! There will be some serious blog material there.
So join me each day this next week, as I will have to blog, to keep from losing my mind! LOL

Dance Space

Remember the lecture Patrick Swayze gave Jennifer Gray in Dirty Dancing? "This is my dance space...."? I'm about to have that little heart to heart with Moma over table space. If it isn't bad enough that she wants to look my plate over (and would LOVE to put stuff on or take stuff off my plate, but I guard it with a forearm), now she is all in my space! For some reason, she is now sitting sideways in her chair and puts her feet all out in front of me. Tonight I was tempted to step on her foot to make a point. She'd hit my foot and say, "I'm sorry" or "Forgive me" (which she thinks that makes everything OKAY). I had to bite my tongue to keep from screaming, "IF YOU'D SIT IN YOUR CHAIR RIGHT, LIKE AN ADULT, YOU WOULD NOT KEEP HITTING MY FEET WITH YOUR STUPID CANE AND YOUR NASTY HOUSE SHOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!" But, such is my life; one irritation after another. Hopefully, this new one will replace an old one! LOL Just another day in the life of living with my Moma.

Church Picnic

Tonight was our July 4th celebration on July 5th! Our church had a picnic at Noccalula Falls. I sort of waited until after lunch to spring it on Moma that she was going with us. She is not a fan of our church (due to the extreme dislike of her deceased sister-in-law, who was a member of our church). She asked me who was "getting it up" and I told her our church. She asked a million questions about who would be there, etc. We were in the car at the time, as I had run an errand and taken her along for the ride. When we got into the house, she went straight to her room. I thought she might lie down for a bit, but when I went into her room to pick out her clothes, there she sat, dressed up, ready to go. She was packing her purse with Kleenex and diapers.
We arrived at the picnic and several folks met us to greet her. She loves all that attention!! She couldn't call any names, but she remembered several of our family friends. I got her to a table, and people were still coming up to her, telling her how glad they were that she came. She was ALL IN HER ELEMENT!!! (being the center of attention). I had to tell her to be quiet when Bro. Vince said the blessing. I fixed her plate with the help of my life-long friend, Greg Fails. (Thanks Gregory! I love you man!) She couldn't wait to tear into that plate of food. She tore (literally) her hamburger to smithereens. Kerry says her plate looks like a hamster has been in it. She ate most everything on her plate.
As people were finishing up their food, the band was getting ready to play. Bro. Paul opened up with a patriotic song, but next came "I'll Fly Away". Moma sang along. I told her I'd go get us something sweet. She said, "What do they have?" I said, "I don't know, but I'll just go get us some stuff". She smirked, "Well, I don't know what I want if I don't know what they have!" I offered to let her go to the table with me, but that wouldn't do. I know what she wanted....she wanted me to go to the table and come back and tell her what was up there. I left her sitting! I got 2 plates (Thanks Kathey for your help) and put a variety of things on both. I chose one particular piece of cake for myself because it had Philadelphia Cream Cheese icing. (Yummmm) Of course, it goes without saying, she wanted that off my plate. Then...she eyed Greg's dessert plate. He had a rice krispy treat. She wanted some of it. (The very idea) He gave her a small piece and he and Kathey were afraid she couldn't chew it. She took one bite and made a face. "EWWWWWWWWYUCK!!!" She said, and tossed it in her plate, leaned over to me and said, "That is the nearest nothing I've ever eaten!" Everyone else was amused (I was not). She continued eating what she wanted off both our plates, and the singing continued. They sang one song she knew, and she cut loose. It was so cute. People around her were noticing her singing and smiling. I got teary eyed.....until the next song. She didn't know it, so she leaned in to me and said, "Well, that's the sorriest singing I ever heard! Why don't they sing something everybody can sing along to?" I passed that on to Kerry and he told Greg and Kathey what she said. Greg, being the clown that he is, held up the rice krispy treat and said, "sorrier than THIS?" We all laughed!
But I saved the most precious part for last. I asked her before I went to the bathroom if she needed to go, she said she did not. I returned, and guess what?? You got it! So, off we go to the bathroom. I got her purse. She said, "I don't need my purse!" I said, "I brought it in case you needed a diaper". She said, "Well, I guess I will 'cause I'm PEEING ALL OVER MYSELF RIGHT NOW!!!" Nice. After I got her into the stall, handed her a clean diaper and took the soiled one. I opened her purse and found pay dirt! She had one hamburger patty wrapped up in a napkin, one piece of fudge in another napkin, one brownie in a Kleenex. I tossed the fudge and the hamburger patty. I let her keep the brownie, although I know my dogs will be throwing it up tomorrow. Sigh...Happy Birthday America! You are a GRAND old lady!

Busy Busy

Moma hasn't shut her eyes over 30 minutes at a time today!! She has just about worn me out. Every time I hear that bedroom door open, I want to scream!!

Between Rebekah and me,we came up with these proofs that Moma was NEVER taught any table manners.
1. She spits tiny left over bites of food out of her mouth into my floor.
2. She smacks when she eats.
3. She shakes the crumbs from her napkin/place mat into the kitchen floor.
4. She makes totally inappropriate remarks to people. Example: "Why is your face breaking out so bad? Don't you put anything on it? They make stuff for that now." (Rebekah gave her a look that would kill)
5. She burps and poots out loud during meals.
6. She takes her teeth out and examines them.
7. She rakes her fingers over her teeth and lets the dog lick her finger! (All together, say GROSS!!!!)
8. She coughs and hocks stuff up at the table.
9. She will not eat over the table, she leans back holding food that will crumble in the floor.
And last but not least.....
10. She complains about everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday

I went shopping today (and what else is new?), but when I came home, Sue stashed my purchases to keep Moma out of them while I ran a quick errand. When I got home, I got out the recliner cover I bought (which is GREAT I might add, no more ugly RED recliner). Moma picked it up and looked it over, read everything on the package, like she does everything. She said, "How much do these cost?" I said, "Why?" She told me that "Haaannnngie" needed one, but then she said, "she ain't never home anymore". I said, "Who is that?" She first said, "my sister" then corrected herself and said, "I mean my sister-in-law". I said, "Who?" She said, "Odell". I reminded her that Aunt Odell is dead. She said, "Yeah". The truly funny thing is that she could not stand my sweet Aunt Odell. She never had anything nice to say about her, and now she is shopping for her. lol I wonder what is going on in that little head sometimes.

Countdown to the Payne Family Reunion! This is Moma's Paynes, not my husband's Paynes. There will most definitely be some blog material from this experience. I just hope I can remember it all.

Not eating...

Today, my sister came up to fix Moma's medicine tray. She went into the den to visit with Moma and Sue (our fabulous sitter). Anyway, in the middle of the conversation (at some point) Moma said to Sherry. "Don't talk to her, talk to me". I think she hurt Sue's feelings. Ugh! She better not run off the best sitter in the world!

Tonight she wouldn't hardly eat supper, not sure what all that is about. Just said she wasn't hungry. Wonder how long that will last? lol