Sunday afternoon...

As I write this, she is sitting on my living room sofa, feet tucked under her, propped back on my sofa pillows, looking out my picture window two knuckles deep in her nose. I do not really like her today (no hate today, just dislike). I decided today to confront her on all the things she does that really annoys me, thinking I might get a little joy from it, but no. This life I live has just about sucked all the joy I could ever have from me. But I know that we should not be storing up treasures here on Earth, and after I get a good tongue lashing from the Father about my attitude, I will receive my reward. But it isn't about me or rewards. There was no other choice to make. This, as much as I hate it, is the only way I could live with myself. I begged for a mission trip, and this, my friend, is it.
So, on to the things that she has done today that really annoys me to the max.

1. She pulls at my plants/flowers thinking she is "dead heading" them. They don't all need that, and she is virtually pulling the roots from the pots. She kills everything I bring home. And one of the gifts I received from God, and inherited from Grandma Payne is that I can grown anything (except when she is around).
2. She asks questions about everything I do. "Whose dresses are those on the porch?" She knows they are her housecoats that I have to hang on the deck to "air" because even washing doesn't take out the urine smell. And another favorite, "Where are you a going?" just because I opened the front door.
3. She feeds my dogs. No discussion. We have beaten this dead horse enough.
4. Sitting at the kitchen table dying. Today, every time she started it, I got up and hustled her back to her room. Not gonna watch it or listen to it. She is not dying (nor will she ever).
5. "Gimme a bite of that cookie". Okay, it is not a cookie, it is a pop-tart, and it is my breakfast. Can I please have the whole thing? If I were literally eating horse manure, she would want it.
6. Choosing not to wear a diaper or to wear 3 gowns plus pajama bottoms with 3 housecoats.  Okay, I realize that she cannot help some of this, but please! I am doing laundry like a ninja 5 days a week, and as soon as I get a stack of gowns that I think will do her several days, she puts them ALL on at one time. Then she wets herself (soaking ALL the gowns) and I check her...no diaper! AUGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so sick of bodily functions!!! and their nasty smells!
7. Rambling, nosing, piddling is one of her favorite pastimes that make me want to harm her. Look, stay out of my things! PERIOD. (and I forgot to mention that she steals stuff too).
8. Being greedy is another trait we struggle with daily. After a meal, she will say, "Can I have a banana?" or whatever is in sight. She wants to take it to her room because she is a hoarder (always has been....must be where I get it).
9. The grunting is not easily overlooked in every situation. She will stand over me sometimes looking at the paper or whatever I am looking at, and she grunts every time she breathes. I want to strangle her. Besides, I want you out of my personal space, please.
10. (I feel like Letterman with my list, but mine is backward from his) I am so sick of NEVER having the freedom to just pick up and go or do what I want! I have to make arrangements for going to Dollar General. Today, the main reason I am so ill is because my upcoming beach trip may  be null and void because of my freedom issue. My sitter's sister died so she is on her way to West Virginia. My sub-sitter can only work 3 1/2 days, leaving Friday and Saturday with no sitter and me out of town. My niece said she could do Saturday, so now Friday is up in the air. AUGH!!!!! My sister is out of town as well (not good planning on my part, but she didn't tell me either). So, I am in limbo until my niece checks to see if she can do Friday. If you know me, you know that I HATE LIMBO!  I do not do limbo well at all. I am a school teacher for gosh sakes, and we follow plans. If I make it out of this situation before Mildred does, AS GOD AS MY WITNESS, I will not be responsible for anyone ever again, except Julie and her dogs! A-men and A-men.