Sunday

Not much to post. She has actually been a nice little grandmother (just with her usual irritations) so I am going to share a picture or two if it will let me.

Errands

It was a familiar scene from my childhood, only this time I was the driver and Moma the little girl in the passenger seat. I had errands to run, and after I rolled her hair, I loaded her into the car to go for a ride. She was so excited. I handed her a piece of Teaberry gum, just like she did me back in the 60's. I always thought it tasted just like wax lips. I miss all the wax I consumed when I was younger. I doubt there are any calories in it. Anyway....I digress. Moma buckled herself in and was tickled pink to get out. As we  rode down the road, she was knocking her skinny little legs together as I imagine I once did and picking up everything in my car as I KNOW I once did. She was so good, I stopped at Dollar General and bought her some coconut candy. But the story cannot end on a sweet note....she's already been in trouble for getting into the candy before supper, and for feeding it to my dogs. What a stinker!

While the Cats' Away......

I would love to report that while I was away Moma was perfect. HA! She was awful.....She told my friend, who so graciously stayed with her out of her devotion to me, that she looked like a tramp. She told me great niece to stop getting fat. She and Rebekah tied up from Saturday evening until I got home. I received this call:
Me: Hello?
Rebekah: Yes, Is this McGuffey's Nursing Home? Yes, I have a hateful old woman that someone needs to come pick up. She won't mind and she is trying to feed the dogs her supper.
Me: (ROFL)
Rebekah: Yes, I see. Can you pick her up today?
(Background: I ain't a going nowhere! I ain't going with nobody!!! You can't make me go!)
Rebekah: Okay, come and pick her up. I'll have her ready.
Me: Rebekah, are you upsetting her? (laughing)
(Background: They don't know my name. I ain't a going!)
Rebekah: Yes, her name is Mildred Hall
(Background: I'll tell 'em I'm somebody else when they get here)
Rebekah to Moma: Who are you going to say you are?
(Background: Just wait 'til they get here and you'll find out!)
Needless to say, Kerry and I were screaming after that phone call. Better her than me. LOVE IT!

Sweetness

Moma has been on a tear of NOT sleeping, or being still, or behaving. But today when I got home, I had a million things to do to get ready for my trip in the morning. I asked Moma if she wanted to go out in the yard and sit on the glider while I cleaned out the truck. She said she would (but didn't seem to enthused). We got out there and I got her settled on the glider, and this sweet rush of memories began to wash over me. She has always loved being outside. As I cleaned out the truck, she was cleaning leaves off the glider and the table in front of it. She seemed to enjoy sitting there, so when I finished I offered to walk her around in the yard. She jumped at the chance. When I was a little girl, she and I would walk around her house and she'd point out different types of flowers, trees and bushes. So as we walked, I'd show her different things in my yard, and my heart was full. For just a short inkling of time, she was my grandmother again. She held tight to me and I never wanted to pull away. God gave me the gift of spending just a moment with my Moma. She has been very docile this evening and not one tiny bit annoying. But I am leaving for Gatlinburg in the morning to celebrate 25 years of marriage to the love of my life. And I guess God knew that she and I both needed some sweetness. I know I'll be ready to kill her again soon, but I am thankful to God for little glimpses of the real Moma.
At this time, she is cleaning out her closet and giving everything she has away. She has offered me shoes, clothes, and now furniture. She is due a 4th trip in here to offer us something else of hers. She said there was no sense in her "piling up a carload of stuff she don't want or need". LOL I love it.

*&^%$#

At the supper table
Me: Moma, I bought you a surprise at the grocery store today! But, if you fight me over the scraps you have in your lap, I am not giving it to you.
Moma: I don't give a damn
Enough said.

May be a Repeat

This may be a repeat of a previous post, but it is worth a repeat. Christopher and I were at the table the other day while Moma was "busy" nosing through everything on the counters, grunting. I told him that her rambling makes me the craziest of all the crap she does. He made the point that her bossing him drives him crazy. So we began making a list, out loud, while she stood behind us rambling and grunting. So here it is:

• bossing (Hey! Let that dog out)
• grunting (uh uh uh uh uh every time she breathes)
• rambling and nosing through our things
• moving and rearranging things (a little different from just rambling, but just as annoying)
• when she says "I ain't never seen one like that"
• letting the dog in and out, repeatedly
• talking in her sleep (I ain't gone do it!)
• lying (I ain't feeding that dog)
• getting in the refrigerator (I'm a looking for my sandwich I put in here)
• stealing (for example: she takes pictures out of my frames, she washes my cute little flower pots and puts them in her room, she even washed Christopher's ash tray and took it)
• ASKING THE SAME STUPID QUESTION OVER AND OVER AND OVER
• following everything I say with "What?" or "huh?"
• getting on the kick of who handles her money and who pays her tithes
• her dying act
• NOT sleeping at night, walking the floors
• the sound of the click of that dreaded cane
• getting right down in your ear to say something "cute"
• feeding the dogs
• always thinking today is Sunday
• abusing the ice dispenser on the refrigerator door
• when she asks you for something, if you do not respond immediately, she attempts it on her own
• being nasty (no details, but you can imagine the millions of ways this occurs)
• using and over-using paper products
• obsessing over things

The list could go on and on, but we finally quit when the food she got out of the trash can had to be wrestled out of her hands and thrown away. Whew....that felt good. 

• 
  

BaHaHaHa!

Last night at supper, Kerry was putting pizza on his plate and Moma said, "Kerry.....how old are you?" He turned and said, "Well, how old do you think I am?" She said, "Well, I know you are in your 60's". At this point, I  had to leave the table because I was spitting food out laughing so hard. She kept asking him what Christopher and I were laughing at. He was at a loss for words, but he did threaten to slap the *&^% out of her under his breath, and tell us it was not that funny. Then, she said, "Ain't you about 62?" I had drink and pizza coming out of my nose. It was great! I was screaming!! He said, "How old do you think she is?" Moma said, "50 something". I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!