And the oscar goes to........

Moma's Academy Award winning performance last night will go down in history as one of the more memorable ones. She brought the whole house down. And at this moment, I am about ready to take her out...if you get my drift.
I do not go to sleep easily. I have to toss and turn for at least an hour before I nod off. Sleep deprivation is just one of my "agely" problems. I try to make the best of it, but around here, just getting up and watching TV causes too many problems, so I lie in the dark, and mentally make out lists. Christmas gifts, To Do lists, lists of jobs the kids can do to make money, lists of things I want Kerry Payne to do. He has no knowledge of these things. Due to the sleep deprivation, I forget to share them with him. I can't account for many things lately. I'm accused of just hanging out in Julieville, but I think the sleep thing is my real adversary. Now that I have set up my little drama.....
If you read last night's post, you know that the princess got her bath, and became the neediest of the royal family. When I finally attempted to turn off the light and go to sleep (ha), it was about 11:15. I was just getting lethargic when I heard the click click click of that infernal cane. I opened my eyes to see her turning off my ceiling fan. As she was exiting the room, Kerry sat up and hollered "Moma!" She kept walking. She has selective hearing, you know. I threw back the covers and got up. I reached out to grab her arm as she was opening the door to the kitchen. "OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW" She bellowed. I pushed her into the kitchen and flipped on the light! "DON'T PUSH ME!" she yelled. I led her to the clock...."It is midnight....you should be in bed.....what do you want now?????" She immediately grabbed her heart and fell into a chair. "I've got to find somebody to pray for me." "Do what??" I sarcastically asked? "Honey, I'm a dying. It's my heart, I guess. OOOOOOOOOOOO, I'm a hurtin'!" Not wanting to be a part of this drama, I walked to the cabinet and got out 2 Tylenol Wonder Drug (she thinks it cures everything). I gave them to her. Note: She usually swallows 4-5 pills at a time, but could only manage one Tylenol at a time....because she was dying, you know. She wanted to begin her praying routine. I got her up and started her toward the bed. Kerry had had a terrible day at work, and he is under enough stress. I was determined she was not going to keep him from sleeping. I got her to bed, but she wouldn't let me close her door. I returned to my bed, and she began her "HELP ME JESUS" act. I just got up, went into her room, closed the door, and sat in the chair. She carried on like a crazy 4 year old on Benedryl. She twisted her body in ways my body would never recover from. She hollered. She raised her hands. She spoke in tongues. She rocked back and forth. I sat in the corner, totally untouched....seen all this before. Rebekah got up and came in to check on us. Moma was drawing a crowd and planned to take full advantage of it. "Pray for me! Somebody pray for me" My standard answer "I'm praying for you....praying for God to take you home." Yes, I am mean and unfeeling after midnight. You cannot imagine the carrying on she did, unless you are pentecostal, then you know. The final blow was her motioning for me to come to her dying bed. "Julie....Julie.....pray for me. Lay your hands on me and pray for me." I answered, "I am praying for you Moma". Not good enough. "Lay your hands on my head and pray...PRAY". So, to appease, I put my hand on her forehead, bowed my head, and said my usual prayer silently. Then I opened my eyes and said, "Okay, now I want you to go to sleep". The ugliest smirk came on her face as she said, "That wasn't worth a flip and you know it!" Say what you want about me, but I lit into her at that moment! "Listen here little woman! Who are you to say my prayers aren't worth anything? Are you Jesus Christ? I don't think so, but you think the pentecostal way is the only way. WELL I AM NOT, NOR WILL I EVER BE PENTECOSTAL!!! You pray your way and I"ll pray mine, but I guarantee that MY GOD is big enough to hear my prayers without all that show and carrying on. You are not dying!" She snapped her head to the side, jutted out that chin, and said, "Forget it!". She closed her eyes and I didn't hear another peep all night.