Buckle up, this is going to be a bumpy ride!

Know what a real southern belle HISSY FIT is?? Well I pitched me one tonight! You don't have hissy fits YOU PITCH THEM!!! I think I threw out my back and I strained my wrist. I did myself in, and I am the worse for it. So, what caused it? Why did I pitch me one?? The little precious princess, that is why.......
Let me back up....
This afternoon when I came home, the princess was sitting up in the den watching TV. Sue said she had been fine all day. I told her that she had NOT closed her eyes the day before, so she had better be good for me tonight. After Sue left, I told her that after supper we were going to get her bath. She balked, but I held fast. She went into the living room to look out the window. In a little bit, she came into the kitchen. "I don't want to get a bath tonight". "Too bad" was all I responded with. She went back into the living room. Kerry came home. He was going to play cards, so I ran to get Moma and me a sandwich. He called me and said, "She just said that she hopes you don't get her ham, she can't eat ham any more". So when I returned, I fixed her the left over Arby's roast beef. While we ate, she asked about 25 times where Kerry was going. Then she said, "What are you eating?" I told her, and her response was "I wish you'd gotten me ham". AUGHHHH!!!! As we finished up eating, she started her act. "Please don't make me take a bath tonight. I feel so bad". "Hey..can I wait and get one in the morning?" "I wish y'all would consider my feelings" I stood my ground, until she said, "You just want everything your way". I lost it! I turned off the TV, threw the remote control to the bar, and screamed "FINE! JUST STINK!!! I don't give a shit what you do!" and I stormed out of the kitchen. I heard her mutter, "Well if you are going to act like that, I'll take my bath". I was fuming! She came into the den and said, "I'll get my bath, come on". ONLY because she stinks and needed one so badly did I go draw her water.
(NOTE: I am having to write this in shifts, as my blood pressure gets up just remembering her antics tonight)
Watching her take a bath reminds me of a busy little 4 year old. She washes EVERYTHING at least 7 times. She wipes her nasty bottom and then returns the wash cloth to her face and starts over. GAG! But I figure as much as she soaps everything, it works out okay. Just like I have reported before, she doesn't want to get in and then she doesn't want to get out. She got out and was drying off, and I said, "Now aren't you glad that is over?" She mumbled something. She powered and patted herself with a powder puff for 20 minutes. I just let her. When she came out, she went to her room. I thought that MAYBE she'd be tired and go to sleep. I heard her TV so I thought it might be safe to take my bath. My first mistake was going in her room to tell her that I was going to take a bath for her to stay in her room (this actually works sometimes). I no sooner started the shower, when I heard the thump of her cane coming through the house. I grabbed a towel and came out WET to find her crazy self in the refrigerator. I screeched, "What are you doing???" She stumbled out some words, not making any sense. Then she started toward me.."I wanted to ask you..." I started screaming, "I asked you to stay in your room!!!!!!!! GET TO YOUR ROOM!! I WILL TALK TO YOU WHEN I GET OUT OF THE SHOWER!" She looked really disgusted at me and said, "Well, you made me forget what I wanted to ask you". I just walked back in the bathroom and started screaming! I mean, like a 12 year old! SCREAMING!!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! I slammed the shower door (sorry Kerry) so hard it should have broken, but the grace of God kept it intact. I wanted to strangle her!!! I did some serious talking to God in the shower, but He knows my heart. I reminded Him of the night I stood outside and looked up at the stars and said, "Lord, I cannot do this. This is not one of my things, but if you'll give me what I need, I'll take her into my home until she dies". I asked for more of the same.
When I got out and settled, I could hear her coming down the hall. "Julie...I remembered what it was I was going to ask you. Did I take all my medicines?" After my hissy fit, I got up and got her some "night night" meds, so tempted to OD her (not really, but entertained the thought). She said, "Don't be mad at me" I argued the point again that she cannot do what I ask her to do, and she is driving me crazy. She then promised to go to bed and leave me alone. (HA!) In about 10 minutes, I heard her again. "Julie" "Julie!" I turned to look at her, afraid to speak for fear fire would roll off my tongue. "Where is Sherry? She was supposed to come bring me my medicine before I go to bed. Have you got any?" and on and on with her nonsense. "You just had your medicine, I just gave it to you". She looked strange. "Does Sherry know?" Augh!!!! She isn't finished. I expect her back in here at least 4 more times. I am seriously losing it. My hissy fit caused me to throw out my back and hurt my wrist. And now I have a headache with the promise of a small stroke. Tomorrow I can laugh about this, tonight, I am ready to cry!