A hodgepodge of Moma

Where do I start? She has been a rascal this weekend. Well, actually Friday, I woke up with a raging UTI and she was really very good. She did interview me with the same 13 questions for about 2 hours until I had to threaten her bodily functions. But other than that.....Her mischief really started Saturday. I was still not feeling up to par by any means, but she woke up with the chickens. She paraded through my bedroom several times wanting to know if anyone would be cooking breakfast. Kerry corralled her in to the kitchen and explained to her that I was sick. He had to go to work (Smoke on the Falls) and I specifically heard him tell her NOT TO DRIVE ME CRAZY! Ha! That was her first challenge. Without giving every juicy detail of her behavior, just know that she slept little, rambled and messed much, and argued with everyone. Later that evening, Seth came up to show me his car and he and Rebekah drove to get our supper. When they got back, we all sat at the table laughing and enjoying the madness that is my life, when Moma looked at me sternly and said, "Are you making fun of me?" I wasn't (seriously), so I told her no and told her what Seth and I were laughing about. Soon, Rebekah and Seth got up to leave. Shula came in to the room and I picked him up doing all that baby talk I do with my dogs. Under her breath, I heard Moma say, "Don't talk to her!" Shula paid her no attention however. He knows who buys the Kibbles and Bits.
Then today....BEAUTIFUL GLORIOUS day that it is....I decided to get some sun. I put on my swim suit and headed to the deck, soon got hungry and came in to fix Moma and me some lunch. She got up from her nap and ate (complained about having her fill of banana sandwiches). When lunch was over, I cleaned up and headed back out to the deck. I told her to come out there with me. She walked around a bit, then stood over me and said, "Instead of getting a sun tan, you need to be working that!" and she took her cane and pointed to my fat gut, and then said, "How much do you weight anyway?" I'm sorry but at that moment I had a visual of throwing her off the deck. Needless to say, I came in the house and put on my clothes.