Happy Birthday to Me!

Today I am 51 years old. YIKES! I used to think this was old. It's the new 31. I am happy, healthy, and not hungry (obviously) so life is good. God has been good to me. And I give him the glory for my happiness and everything good in my life.
HOWEVER.........this morning at 5:30, my alarm went off. I saw the light from my grandmother's room. Her door was open, so I lay there waiting for her door to close. Sometimes she wakes up and looks out to see if anyone is up. So I lay there waiting on her to close the door. I must have dosed off, because my snooze went off, and I hit the floor scooting. I heard talking coming from her room. It was rough, gruff, growly talk. "Get outta that bed! You hear me?? You're both married!" Now, you know I love nonsense, so I charged to the kitchen to grab the baby monitor. She barked at her imaginary visitors for a few more minutes, and then her door opened. She came into the bathroom with me and asked me about the cats. Then she went back to her room. I heard her talk a bit more and then I heard her say something about that "far" on the stove. The door opened, and I heard her walk out and down the hall. I caught her just as she was about to turn on the light and enter our bedroom where Kerry was asleep. I told her she could not go in there, and she said, "I've got to check on the far under those beans!" I said, "You are not cooking anything!" Good Lawd!!! She went nuts when I would not let her go. Without all the precious details, let me just say that a struggle began. She had hold of the door facing, and I was pulling her away from my bedroom. As I was pulling her away from the door, she whaled me in the face with her forearm and fist. I was fighting tooth and nail..she is strong for a tiny crazy old woman. She whacked me several more times, and I was a little rough with her, but she drew back that cane and threatened to "knock my damn head off". It was UGLY. It was tiring. It was not what I signed up for. I had to grit my teeth and use non-Sunday School words to get her in her room. She was still threatening me with the cane and cursing me about keeping my hands off her. She finally settled down and went back to sleep. What a great way to start my birthday!