My Off Day

How did I spend my off day?
Well, before I report the ramblings of the princess let me take a moment to personally thank every US soldier past and present! I do not take my freedom lightly. I am in AWE of you and what you do! Thank you guys (and gals) for the peace of mind to live my life without fear.
I awoke to the sound of my precious grandmother's cane thumping down toward the kitchen. She passed me in the bed and said, "Good Morning" like she sees me there all the time. Needless to say, I got up, and she wanted breakfast. You know I don't speak in the mornings so it is very hard for me to focus on what she is saying much less answer her. I got her fed and back to bed for her morning nap. She stayed down a couple of hours and I was able to wash clothes and get some work done. (Thank you Lord for small favors).
She awoke about 10:45 wanting something to eat. I told her to go get dressed and we'd go out for lunch. She snarled at first, but saw I wasn't taking no for an answer. It literally took her an hour to get ready. But then again, part of that time was spent standing and pawing through drawers looking for God only knows what. We finally got out of the house with her protesting the whole way. "I ain't got no business getting out." (yeah yeah, whatever) We went through the car wash, and on to DQ for chicken fingers and fries. I kept asking her what she wanted to eat, and finally she slapped my arm and said, "You know I ain't hard to please". I nearly ran off the road at such a lie. We ate without too much commotion. Then when we left, I decided to run to my school and put the plants I had in the back seat in my library. As we passed a group of black men working at a church, she said, "Hmm...Looks like the n****** are having a yard sale". I said, "Moma! Please don't say that word!" She said, "What??" in her high pitched voice, like a defensive southern belle. We left there and headed to the library to return some books on CD. She asked a million questions on the way. If she is confused about where we are, she'll say "What do they call this around here?" lol Uh, that would be downtown Gadsden. I tried to get her to go in the "dime store" with me, but she was having no part of it. I had an hour to kill before my dentist appointment. I managed to eat up 30 minutes, but went on to the dentist early, thinking I might get in fast. (No such luck)
Waiting rooms are a source of terror for me when she is in tow. She is liable to say or do anything. We sat there with her asking "Is the doctor here?" "Do they know you are here?" and other such nonsensical questions. Then.....she leaned in, patted my leg and said, "Hey"......(never a good sign). Fearfully I looked at her, "What?" I whispered hoping she'd take the hint to whisper too. She pointed at a man sitting 2 people away and said in a conversation tone, "Look how big his feet are!" OH MY GOSH!! I wanted to die. I was praying they'd call me so I could leave her. I turned my head to her and quietly said, "Hush". Soon they called me back, and I had to leave her out there for about 25 minutes to get x-rays. Secretly hoping she'd be gone when I got back, I went out to get her after they finished. I motioned for her to come to me. "What do you want?" she growled at me. "Come back and sit in the room with me while they clean my teeth" I said. "Good Lord!" she said, and got up. While in the room, she grunted, she moaned, she burped and hiccuped, she asked questions. She talked so loud about being thirsty, the office manager brought her some water. Needless to say, she has made her last trip to my dentist office.
Why do they let us out of school anyway? I'd much rather work.