Wear my shoes....I dare you!

I am so blind with rage right now that I should not even attempt to write a post. I am going to regret this I am afraid. But here goes....
As you all know, Saturdays are not my favorite because they find me at home with the princess and the two children I have raised to have no compassion or responsibility about them, who sleep until mid-afternoon. And of course, Kerry plays golf on the weekend like it is a second job. (Don't be mad honey, the truth hurts. I'm not mad at you). Anyway, I digress.....
I remembered a conversation between myself and Carl Hunter last night at his birthday supper concerning my A/C at school. "Payne, did you turn off the a/c?" "Uh, no, did you?" Yikes! The energy czar will visit this weekend for sure! So, I knew that I had to go take care of that today, plus it isn't working right, and I don't want to be the cause of us having school in a church building because I burned the school down. I patiently waited on one of the royal subjects to awake. The youngest one did, but had plans (how unusual). I figured the older one owes me more anyway, so I waited for him. As soon as he awoke and got settled, I asked him if he would stand watch while I ran over to take care of that. (Note to self: make sure son knows what I mean when I ask him to watch her)
Obviously while I was gone, the princess awoke and decided that she needed to eat her a snack. Well, of course because all she does is sleep, eat and make stinky. I returned to him screeching at her "What are you doing now?" She was obviously eating watermelon that he had scooped up off the floor. WHAT? MY WATERMELON I JUST CUT THIS MORNING?? MY HUGE WATERMELON FROM JOHNSON'S THAT WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOO SWEET????? I lost it. I had filled a large Tupperware cake taker (upside down of course) with cut watermelon. AS I walked hurriedly into the kitchen, there was my son mopping up watermelon and seeds and juice with bath towels. AAAAIIIIIIIIYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYCk!! I lost it! I said bad words (BAD ONES), and threw things! I told him to "GET OUT OF HERE" and her to "GET OUT OF MY WAY". Then I proceeded to be like my mother, the martyr and fuss and cuss while I cleaned up the mess. She kept meandering around. Finally, after I came in from hosing down the deck, the patio and me, I was a bit calmer. She said, "Wonder where he went?" I said, "Who cares? What difference does it make?" She said, "Well, I thought he might have gone after us another watermelon!"
I FREAKING GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!