Whether you have ever thought about this or not, severe old age is much like autism. There is that little world where they live, and you cannot visit. Things must be done their way, and ALWAYS the same. Yet, they are unpredictable. What has been perfectly fine for weeks now suddenly is all wrong. They are paranoid. Someone is taking their things. Someone is spending their money. They reason out things that never will make sense to you. They fixate on things (like kleenex) and they, to be brutally honest, irritate the hell out of you! Crude you say? Uncaring? Listen, this is not a pleasant world. My whole purpose in writing this journal was to give a true picture; give perspective; and say, "it is okay to not like the person you are caring for, at times". It has to be okay to make jokes and laugh, to be angry, to be tired, and to just plain feel like nobody cares,temporarily. If you didn't have these feelings you would not last. You'd cave. So..laugh...be a little cruel (behind their back, of course), and slam a door! It is for your health and sanity and for their safety.
Writer's note: I had knee surgery Wednesday of this past week. My brace is off, my bandages thrown away, but my knee is swelling and sore. No constant pain, but can't jump hurdles or run around this house like I could. I'm ill. I want to take a shower, but no one is here to keep an eye on the princess. I am definitely having "one of those times" mentioned above. However, I know that it is okay, and that this too shall pass.
1 comment:
I know it isn't easy....just keep that sense of humor that I know you have. In my prayers always
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