Reality

Since I seem to be on a reality roll, I thought I would tell you how my day has been. Kerry is out of town, so I have no support system, except for the kids when they are around. This morning I had to wake Moma up. She was still asleep at 11:20. She sat up, but never came to eat. I went in the room with her and she was slumped over toward the foot of her bed, sound asleep. I called to her and startled her. She finally came to eat. When she finished, she asked if she could go back and lie down. I went to wash clothes. Later, I noticed her door open. I started down to her room and followed a trail to the bathroom. She had tinkled from bed to bath. PRECIOUS!!!!!!! I wanted to wring her neck. She had taken off her diaper before she went to the bathroom. Sweet.
Then there was the fight over a baggie of apples at lunch.. She told Rebekah and me both to shut up and leave her alone. Then she told us how she hated us and that my house was the awfulest place she'd ever been. She accused us of being mean to her. I sent her back to bed. She went back to bed and slept long and hard. She got up at 5:30 lost as a goose. She thought it was 5:30 Sunday morning. A little later, she asked if her children were dead. Then she asked how they died. And on and on......We ordered pasta from Pizza Hut (double yum), and she ate good. She sat at the table with Bek and Tesa and me like she understood everything we were saying. She laughed when we laughed, and nodded her head when we talked. She got up to go lie down. I took the opportunity to give her her night time meds.
Later, after Tesa left, I started my bath and was just about to step in, when I heard the door open. She went clomping and grunting through the house. I stepped out and asked what she needed. She wanted something to eat. UGH!!! So while my bath water got cold, I sat at the table while the Precious Princess ate her little snack cake and drank her chocolate milk. And by the way, she sucks that straw until the glass is bone dry. She does love her some chocolate milk.
I am ready for Monday to get some rest, even though it is testing week. Now that is sad to look forward to the worse week of the school year! Sigh.....Ta Ta for Now.

First an apology

Let me start this post by apologizing to my mother. I realize that this post, like the last one, should not be discussed in public, but for anyone facing this challenge that I am living, they need to hear the REAL story.

This evening, while Kerry and I were discussing what to get for supper, Moma came into the room. Kerry shushed her because basketball was on and he was multitasking. She stood patiently waiting for my attention. I said, "Moma, what is it?" She said, "You know that pill you gave me to make my bowels move?" I said, "yes, why?" She said, "I just messed in the floor down there". PRECIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!
I swear my house didn't smell this bad when I had babies in diapers!

Little Old Ladies Shouldn't Talk Like That!

As Moma stands across the room sorting through the 48 some odd tissues in her housecoat pockets, I just made up my mind that I was obligated to share what she said to me last night. I was looking for my calculator in the study. She came in, asking what I was looking for. I told her my calculator, but understandably, she had no clue what that was. So she begins picking up random things, saying, "Is this it?" "What about this?" I was answering her with "No" "No" "No", but she continued to ramble on. The things in my study are MINE! MY school stuff, MY collectibles, MY scrapbook stuff, MINE MINE MINE!!! So, I guess I was a little short, because I didn't want her rambling through my stuff. Finally, exasperated, I said, "MOMA! You would not know if you found it! Please stop. You don't know what you are looking for. Just leave this stuff alone, please!" She saunters out of the room,and as she exits, she looks back over her shoulder and says, "You can ram it up your a**!" and she closed her bedroom door.

What size do you wear in SMARTY PANTS??

Oh me, Moma has on her smarty pants and has for several days now. She is wearing them with pride. Today when I got home, Sue and I were discussing the impending doom (rain) coming tomorrow. Moma came into the room and said, "What are y'all fussing about?" I told her that we were not fussing, we were talking about the rain that was coming. She said, "Who said rain was coming?" I said, "the weatherman" but at the same time, Sue said, "my husband". Moma said, "Well, he don't know!" We said, "Who?" She said, "the weatherman! (voice got really high pitched and defensive)It don't always rain just because he said!!" We laughed and said, "Well okay, don't get so excited!" Then she said, (and I quote!) "SHET-UP! SHET-UP!! SHET-UP TALKING TO ME!!!" I said, "You need to go back to your room if you are going to talk so hateful and be so smart! You might wake up in a nursing home." Then, she looked at Sue,and innocently said, "Listen to how hateful she talks to me. She always talks about putting me in a nursing home!" Precious.....

She's a lefty!

You know those wonderful little cakes called Suzy Q's? Yuummmm.........I bought a box of them to take with us on our trip. I had 2 left. I took one for breakfast this morning, and left one in the pantry. Sue gave Moma one after lunch today because she didn't like her lunch and wouldn't eat much. Moma began to pinch little pieces off to give the dogs. Sue caught her and told her to stop. When Sue turned around, Moma cut her eyes and did it again. Sue warned her and threatened to take it from her. She intentionally did it again. Sue went for the snack cake, and after a short wrestle, Moma brought on the heat! Yes, she threw the cake across the room!!! It's a good thing she did that with Sue and not me. I might have slapped her. She has become MAJOR unpredictable! I'm hoping maybe the Braves will sign her.

Meanwhile Back at the Ranch......

Got home today around 4:30. Moma was happy to see us. After things settled down and the kids were gone, she came into the den with a "hurtin'" in her chest, except that she pointed to her stomach. She wanted me to call Sherry and see if we needed to carry her to the doctor. I gave her a Zantac and told her to go lie down awhile. She said, (several times) "Check on me, here?" like she might be dying. I was a little alarmed, but I have met her and know what a drama queen she is. I checked on her more than once and she was sleeping. After about an hour, she began to holler out "JULIE!" I went to her room, but her eyes were closed. This happened several times. Finally, I said, "MOMA! What do you want?" She looked up (startled) and said, "Come'ere! I approached her bed, and she said, "You know that hurtin' in my chest? Well....I wanted to tell you......(in a whisper) it's gone". What an actress.

Last night

Just checked in with Kerry. Moma is doing fine and only asked, "Where is everybody?" once. lol God love her, she knew I needed this! Have had so much fun. Laughed A LOT! Ate A LOT!!! Shopped A LOT!!!!!! Now that is the prescription for the blues, isn't it?? Heading home tomorrow!

Just checkin' in

Arrived at hotel at about 9:30 eastern time. Shopped a bit before hand. Cool here but supposed to be 60's tomorrow.
Nice to get away...........

Spilled Tea and a new hair do

Tonight Moma knocked her FULL tea glass across the table while she was reading the paper. After I cleaned up her mess, I was reminded of another time she was reading the paper. One Mother's Day, she was sitting in our recliner reading the paper while the entire extended family on BOTH sides was here for an annual cook-out (which is now defunct as of this year). Anyway, she would read a section, fold it and place it on the table next to her. However, she had not noticed the candle on that table. Yes, you guessed it. She put it on the candle. Kerry started hollering and grabbed it from her and headed out the door. She had NO CLUE the paper in her hand was on fire. She was a little insulted when he jerked it from her hand. lol She is somebody to know...........
Today was beauty shop day. It looks really nice, but it won't last. She'll wallow around and have it torn up before tomorrow. But...she has a clean head and she loves to go to the beauty shop because they pet her and she gets to visit. To each his own. If I could get my hair done myself, I'd never go again. I hate it.
Note: I am in denial. Sunday is NOT my birthday. I am NOT 50 years old.....yet.

Short and Sweet

This post is short and sweet....
One more day like the past 2 and one of us is moving out, AND IT AIN'T ME!!!!!!!!!!
I am worn out. She has been impossible since Friday evening. I'll post more when it's funny. Give it a few days to cool off. AUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Y'all come back now, ya hear?

Remember the Beverly Hillbillies? Remember how Ellie Mae had her "critters"? Okay, do you remember Bessie, the chimp? Bessie was a little mischievous. I remember all this so well, because I now live with Bessie the Chimp. Today has been one of those days that I dread like a root canal.
She awoke at 7ish "clicking" through the house. That dang cane clicks so loud sometimes. I tried playing sleep, but after her third round through my bedroom, I got up. Once again, I remind you....I do not talk in the mornings for at least one hour. She starts, "Could I have a cup of coffee??" I begin fixing it, even before my Diet Dr. Pepper! But still, no talking. She asks again, "Hon, may I have a cup of coffee?" "imfixnit" I mumble. "What???" she says. I just continue with no response. She lays her head on the table and falls in and out of sleep. I decide to go ahead and make her oatmeal. (Note: if she'd have let me get up first and gotten awake, I'd have made muffins) She jumped and hollered when I closed the pantry door. I am not affected in the least. She begins to apologize for waking me up. I mumble, "okay", but continue moving like a robot. That isn't enough....she says it over and over. "Honey, I'm sorry. I hate to wake anybody up". "Forgive me, hear? (actually comes out he-uhn)" Still, I am nodding and getting her breakfast ready. "What's today?" she asks. "Where's Kerry?" "Where's Becky?" She was so confused. She thought it was like 4 in the afternoon because it was so dark and dreary out. Then....then...she got into my crochet thread. She rambled through my mail. She opened Christopher's package from NSA. I thought she was going to wear his cap (umpire). She got into the "yard sale" stuff. Finally, she went to the couch and sat for a few minutes. Then she got into Rebekah's things (posters and such from plays). She opened my china cabinet. She rearranged my "whatnots" as she calls them in the living room. I went into her room to put up laundry, and found that she had taken my sewing and craft things and put them all over her room. Now she'll take your things in a heartbeat if she so desires. She has been BUSY BUSY BUSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! At supper tonight, she asked Rebekah if she'd gained weight. Rebekah just said that she had to shut her up (she hoped). Then she said, "Well I knew you didn't use to be so fat." PRECIOUS BESSIE PRECIOUS!!! She may be bound for the nursing home if I have to endure another day like today!

The Doctor's Office

OH MY GOSH! I took Moma to the doctor Tuesday. I really wish I could share with you what all she did in there, but my mother would roll over in her grave. So, if you know me, call me or better yet...see me in person and I'll act it out!! LOL She did have another UTI, so we are on medicine. Fun!!
She has been extremely confused and cloudy. She came into the kitchen and told me she was too sick to come to the table for supper. Yet she walked to the kitchen to tell me that. lol I told her I'd help her.
Next weekend, I am sneaking away for my birthday weekend! Shhhhh......

Hey Lady, can I buy a Tylenol?

Hooo boy, she is losing it. Lately, she has talked really crazy! Last night, she came into my bedroom as Kerry slept and I read. She was "looking for something she left in there". Yeah...then she turned to me and said, "That was nice of you to let them have that here". I said, "What??" She said, " You know, that...(mumble mumble)(random hand motions)". Then she asked, "Will you be at work when I get up tomorrow?" I told her that I would. Then she said, while tapping on my night stand, "I've enjoyed being with you again." It was all I could do to not laugh right in her face.
Then tonight, while we were watching the news, she entered the den and said, "Hey aanniiee....HEY LADY! Have you got a tylenol that I could buy?" Welcome to my life under the big top! Bears on bicycles, clowns in cars and Mildred in the center ring.

A funny moment

Today Rebekah and I had to go to the dermatologist in Birmingham. She reminded me of a hysterical Moma moment from the past. We all used to go to another dermatologist at Medical Center East so I made all our appointments together. One summer day, we all had appointments and they put us in the same room. Rebekah was in the chair and Moma was waiting. She looked down at my feet and said, "What 'chu wearing a rang on yore toe for?" I said, "I just like to". She said, "Well today is so different. I don't like to see men wearing earbobs and necklaces." I was just giving her my "yeah-yeah" routine, and not paying much attention to what she was saying. By the time I realized what she was talking about it was too late. The next thing I heard was "We had a name for that in my day.....IT WAS QUEER!" i nearly died! I said, "Shhhhhhhhhhhh, don't say that!" I could hear the nurses outside the room laughing. I know everybody heard it.
As I write this, she is sleep talking. She must be worried about children or something. She keeps saying something about "keeping your eye on them", but she also just bellowed out "Let me out!" So who knows what ride little Mildred is on now.

Sunday is bath day

I had a major melt down today. It's been awhile since I had a major one. I've had little melt downs, but today was seriously major! However, thanks to my "anti-freak-out" medicine, I made it. I say this to explain that EVERYTHING got on my nerves. Everything made me crazy. But particularly Moma. She was brand new.
After lunch it was bath time. She saw me down the hall putting her bath chair into the bathroom. As I approached her down the hall, she growled, "What do you want?" I told her it was time for a bath,and she began the routine. "Please don't make me take a bath today. I don't feel like it". "I just had a bath" "Well, wait until my food digests, here?" "I ain't ready" and on and on. I go back to start her water, and when I return, she is on the deck with a wadded up napkin full of breadcrumbs ready to feed the cats, dogs, birds, anything that moves. After I wrestled it out of her hands, Kerry came and ran her back in the house. She looked at me and said, "I wish you wouldn't be so hateful". Of course, I did threaten to knock her out while wrestling with her, but I say that to everyone. I finally got her rusty butt in the tub. As always, the water temp. was not to her liking (it never has been). Then all of a sudden, as if this were her first bath, she said, "This chair is gonna fall with me". I reminded her that I was going to change her bed for her to NOT stand up until I get back. After changing her bed,I came in to find her standing. The bathroom was 110 degrees because of the little space heater I have to run or she tries to die. I ripped the plug out of the wall as sparks flew. She is washing body parts over and over, and saying "I need you to wash my back" It wouldn't matter if I washed it or not. She forgets what she's washed. She continues soaping her cloth and I am draining the tub. I tell her to stop that she has already washed everything but she insists. She re-washes her face after she has washed south of there. (Gag)There is no stopping her. I just drain the tub and hope she will stop. I rinsed her with a cup and she screeched "Don't wet my hair!" Yes, because it is so nicely fixed, I think to myself. Getting her out is equally taxing. She acts like we have never done this before. She dries her legs while standing up. How she keeps from falling over, I'll never know. She bosses me "Get me some Arrid" "Have you got any lotion?" On and on and on.... She continues to boss. At this point, I have stripped off to my underwear because I am almost 50 and I am burning up, and I want to kill her!!! And then when it is all over and done with, my sweet adoring husband said, "I wish you'd get in a better mood"